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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my landlord needs to grow up?

127 replies

WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 00:16

On Tuesday just gone (16th) my landlord came to pick up the rent for the month and suggested to me that she needs flyers handing out to shop noticeboards and homes for her new business and asked whether or not I would be willing to do it for her, a few thousand in return for £20.
I explained to her that it wouldn't be as easy to just do all of the flyers immediately because I have to support my partner 24/7 with both her mental and physical health. I explained that this meant that my partner would need to come with me in her wheelchair and that'd make it less easy due to my partner's bones being affected by the cold weather so we couldn't spend as much time out of the warm home we have, more than anything.
My landlord accepted this and just requested that I update her on how I get on, where I've managed to get the flyers to, so she knows where her business is coming from.
Within 5 hours, I'd managed to get them into around 25 out of 30 stores canteens, noticeboards and counters, so I let the landlord know.
Thursday (18th) comes around and my partner having being out for those 5 hours on the Tuesday meant that for the Wednesday (17th) and Thursday she felt like she was practically comatose in her bed, unable to move about due to pain everywhere.
The landlord decided to point out to me that the weather's been dry and is due to be dry all this week, but I had to point out to her that dry weather doesn't mean it's not cold.
My partner was getting a bit annoyed by this (naturally I talk to her about anything that goes on in our lives and affects us.) so my partner called up the landlord.
On the phone call to the landlord, the landlord proceeded to tell my partner that I'd not once mentioned the difficulties that my partner would be facing and the landlord then said if we're not willing to post the flyers (which we had been doing) than she would just get someone else to do it and expects to get the flyers back (which obviously we can't do) as well as £15 out of the £20 she gave us originally for doing it.
I've made up my mind to just give the £15 to the landlord and tell her to get someone else if that's what she really wants, rather than telling lies about not knowing of my partner's disability and causing stress as a result.

Am I being unreasonable to think my landlord needs to grow up?

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 19/11/2021 01:06

I think whatever you decide to do - going forward it would be best to avoid accepting any ‘jobs’ from your landlord and keep your relationship with her to just being landlord/tenant rather than boss too, even if the money is tempting. Less complicated and clearer boundaries.

MyDcAreMarvel · 19/11/2021 01:20

Why would you risk your partners health for £20? Your post is very strange.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/11/2021 01:27

What

QuinceTamarillo · 19/11/2021 01:32

It sounds like this job was something you really weren't able to take on given your commitments to your partner's care. Your LL probably shouldn't have accepted your offer to do the work on a limited "best efforts" basis when she knew this was something quite urgent and time dependent for her. (She probably wasn't really listening to what you said and was just glad she'd easily found someone to do the job.)

All the details about your partner's health and who said what to whom aren't really relevant. I'd give LL a recap of where you've put the fliers (even if it's the same status you gave her on Tuesday) and pay her back for whatever percentage of the job isn't done - e.g., if you agreed to put up 1000 fliers and have only put up 500, give her back £10 and the unused fliers and she can get someone else to do the rest. I can't see how taking your partner out again now to put up more fliers could be reasonable even if she accepts the slower pace and asks you to continue.

Blueberryflavour · 19/11/2021 01:38

Why would you have agreed to distribute a few thousand flyers for £20? It’s taken 5 hrs so far to do 25 it’ll take you months at that rate.Even if you just stick them through letter boxes that many will take hours, give the remaining flyers back and the money along with a note of where the 25 ended up and then forget the whole thing.

KangarooSally · 19/11/2021 01:51

Why did you even agree to do it?? You could have just said "no sorry I can't do that" in the first place.

JollyHolly30 · 19/11/2021 01:57

@Blueberryflavour

Why would you have agreed to distribute a few thousand flyers for £20? It’s taken 5 hrs so far to do 25 it’ll take you months at that rate.Even if you just stick them through letter boxes that many will take hours, give the remaining flyers back and the money along with a note of where the 25 ended up and then forget the whole thing.
They haven't only handed out 25 for God sake - they've left a pile at 25 out of 30 local stores/canteens, as it says in the OP.
Whycantibetangy · 19/11/2021 02:02

I also read it as putting up 25 flyers, not leaving a pile of them in 25 places.

Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 02:03

@Sparklesocks

I think whatever you decide to do - going forward it would be best to avoid accepting any ‘jobs’ from your landlord and keep your relationship with her to just being landlord/tenant rather than boss too, even if the money is tempting. Less complicated and clearer boundaries.
Thank you for your response. I think you're right. From now on, it's just solely landlord/tenant.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 02:04

@Fupoffyagrasshole

What
Because when my partner has disabilities but doesn't have a diagnosis, it limits the support available and means we have to look elsewhere for assistance.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 02:06

@QuinceTamarillo

It sounds like this job was something you really weren't able to take on given your commitments to your partner's care. Your LL probably shouldn't have accepted your offer to do the work on a limited "best efforts" basis when she knew this was something quite urgent and time dependent for her. (She probably wasn't really listening to what you said and was just glad she'd easily found someone to do the job.)

All the details about your partner's health and who said what to whom aren't really relevant. I'd give LL a recap of where you've put the fliers (even if it's the same status you gave her on Tuesday) and pay her back for whatever percentage of the job isn't done - e.g., if you agreed to put up 1000 fliers and have only put up 500, give her back £10 and the unused fliers and she can get someone else to do the rest. I can't see how taking your partner out again now to put up more fliers could be reasonable even if she accepts the slower pace and asks you to continue.

I agree, I have no intention of putting my partner through that again.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 02:07

@Blueberryflavour

Why would you have agreed to distribute a few thousand flyers for £20? It’s taken 5 hrs so far to do 25 it’ll take you months at that rate.Even if you just stick them through letter boxes that many will take hours, give the remaining flyers back and the money along with a note of where the 25 ended up and then forget the whole thing.
On average around this area, for most who deliver flyers it's less than that for the same amount, so it seemed like a good idea. When you have less money, you appreciate the more money offered.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 02:08

@KangarooSally

Why did you even agree to do it?? You could have just said "no sorry I can't do that" in the first place.
Because I'm the only person supporting my partner in a situation where all our money could just go in one thought.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 02:09

@Whycantibetangy

I also read it as putting up 25 flyers, not leaving a pile of them in 25 places.
I apologise for my confusing statement.
OP posts:
Unmerited · 19/11/2021 02:15

I know this isn’t the point but how come your landlord is collecting the rent? Is it cash? I’d maybe worry that your deposit isn’t in an approved scheme etc

Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 04:20

@Unmerited

I know this isn’t the point but how come your landlord is collecting the rent? Is it cash? I’d maybe worry that your deposit isn’t in an approved scheme etc
The landlord is collecting the rent because the money gets paid to us and so it's easier to take it out of the atm and give it to her. The estate agent deals with things like our deposit and we've seen no issues there.
OP posts:
Nyxly · 19/11/2021 04:25

It is a bit confusing.

But you should not have accept the work.

The LL is out of order

Your partner is out of order for phoning when this is something you agreed to.

BasiliskStare · 19/11/2021 04:33

Pleas ask others more qualified but do make sure your deposit is properly vested & think about whether just paying LL in cash straight out of the ATM is the right way to do it. This does have - Hmm Think about it written all over it - but there will be those better qualified than me to say .

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/11/2021 05:09

That's slave labour!! Massively exploitative.

Don't sell your labour for massively less than minimum wageConfused

Also I wouldn't mix landlord/tenant relationship with employee/employer relationship!

Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 05:59

@Nyxly

It is a bit confusing.

But you should not have accept the work.

The LL is out of order

Your partner is out of order for phoning when this is something you agreed to.

I chose to accept the work as it proposed money that would help support my partner. I accept that I should not have accepted that, and I would have not accepted that, had the landlord listened in the first place.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 06:00

@BasiliskStare

Pleas ask others more qualified but do make sure your deposit is properly vested & think about whether just paying LL in cash straight out of the ATM is the right way to do it. This does have - Hmm Think about it written all over it - but there will be those better qualified than me to say .
I assure you, nothing is wrong with my deposit. Everything is recorded. Everything is protected. I have seen evidence of this first hand. Some landlords just prefer cash in hand as it's easier. Thanks for your concern though, I will get further advice just to be on the safe side.
OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 19/11/2021 06:01

There must be easier ways to earn £20?

Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 06:03

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

That's slave labour!! Massively exploitative.

Don't sell your labour for massively less than minimum wageConfused

Also I wouldn't mix landlord/tenant relationship with employee/employer relationship!

I didn't view it as a 'job', I viewed it more as I was trying to do her a favour and she was giving me £20 for helping. I agree though, landlord/tenant does seem to be the only option instead of trying to help.
OP posts:
Original poster
WOBNIARM · 19/11/2021 06:06

@THisbackwithavengeance

There must be easier ways to earn £20?
You'd think so, but not always. If my partner had a diagnosis for her health problems, I wouldn't have considered the £20 in the first place. Most the top-up money we get that supports her comes from surveys and questionnaires through things like Qmee and YouGov. A couple of extra pounds a day makes a difference, but it's never guaranteed so you sorta appreciate when someone appears to offer to help you.
OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 19/11/2021 06:08

You've done most of the flyers, so the LL gets £5-£10 back. Do you get proper receipts for the rent?
Have you been to the Citizens Advice? What are you doing to push for help?