AIBU to think my landlord needs to grow up?

[WOBNIARM]

On Tuesday just gone (16th) my landlord came to pick up the rent for the month and suggested to me that she needs flyers handing out to shop noticeboards and homes for her new business and asked whether or not I would be willing to do it for her, a few thousand in return for £20.
I explained to her that it wouldn't be as easy to just do all of the flyers immediately because I have to support my partner 24/7 with both her mental and physical health. I explained that this meant that my partner would need to come with me in her wheelchair and that'd make it less easy due to my partner's bones being affected by the cold weather so we couldn't spend as much time out of the warm home we have, more than anything.
My landlord accepted this and just requested that I update her on how I get on, where I've managed to get the flyers to, so she knows where her business is coming from.
Within 5 hours, I'd managed to get them into around 25 out of 30 stores canteens, noticeboards and counters, so I let the landlord know.
Thursday (18th) comes around and my partner having being out for those 5 hours on the Tuesday meant that for the Wednesday (17th) and Thursday she felt like she was practically comatose in her bed, unable to move about due to pain everywhere.
The landlord decided to point out to me that the weather's been dry and is due to be dry all this week, but I had to point out to her that dry weather doesn't mean it's not cold.
My partner was getting a bit annoyed by this (naturally I talk to her about anything that goes on in our lives and affects us.) so my partner called up the landlord.
On the phone call to the landlord, the landlord proceeded to tell my partner that I'd not once mentioned the difficulties that my partner would be facing and the landlord then said if we're not willing to post the flyers (which we had been doing) than she would just get someone else to do it and expects to get the flyers back (which obviously we can't do) as well as £15 out of the £20 she gave us originally for doing it.
I've made up my mind to just give the £15 to the landlord and tell her to get someone else if that's what she really wants, rather than telling lies about not knowing of my partner's disability and causing stress as a result.

Am I being unreasonable to think my landlord needs to grow up?

But even that MRI notwithstanding the GP should be recording your partner’s lived experience.

@EmeraldShamrock

Tell LL you will not be finishing the job and advise them not to ask again. Definitely taking advantage of you. LL collecting cash rent isn't unusual as long as you have a lease, ask for a receipt, then no issues.

I agree, this is definitely seeming to be the best course of action. To keep it simple, landlord and tenant. I pay the rent, I get a receipt and it's logged in a notebook in the estate agents too as a back-up copy. Thank you.

For £20? Should have negotiated money off the rent for next month.

@Alwayswonderedwhy

Yabu for agreeing to do it for £20 the first place. If you really need the £20 that much you'd be better going out by yourself while your partner keeps warm at home.

That's what I thought but then my partner reminded me that we only have one phone between us, so if anything were to happen where she needed me, she wouldn't be able to contact me, so that's why I tried to get it done with my partner rather than without.

@Waahingwashingwashing

But even that MRI notwithstanding the GP should be recording your partner’s lived experience.

I don't know why they don't, but she's told them what the issues are plenty of times but they won't make a note of it unless they see it in person. The latest gp we saw (who is in the best practice out of 4) told us next time to be taken seriously we need to let it get bad enough for an ambulance. Personally my best guess is while they don't know what's wrong, they don't want to make out like they do, say the wrong thing and then get in trouble so they'd rather just let an emergency service deal with it when it becomes an emergency so it's easier then.

You need to make a complaint about that.

@motherheroic

For £20? Should have negotiated money off the rent for next month.

I didn't want to make out like I was going to skimp out on us paying the rent though, that was my concern. In hindsight, it definitely should have been asked about as another option but even then I feel the landlord would have pulled the same stunt.

@Waahingwashingwashing

You need to make a complaint about that.

I did. I'm a stickler for complaints. 'Tis the British way, ain't it?

To put a lighter bit of news on this thread, I would like to say for the last five months I've been doing the odd survey every day or two on YouGov when they pop up and I finally reached 5,000 points and got £50 transferred to my bank account. Quite happy about that!

What was the outcome of the complaint?

@Waahingwashingwashing

What was the outcome of the complaint?

We handed in the complaint to the receptionist who said they'd pass it onto the manager, but we never heard back. I never found out if there was an outcome, to be honest I should have checked to see if there was like an ombudsman like how they have for banking disputes, but it didn't cross my mind at the time, probably because it was better than the last gp my partner accessed where her wheelchair was broken at the time and so she had to hold my hand, fell on the zebra crossing and got told off for missing her gp appointment. Some of them just don't understand, it would seem.

What exactly are your partners symptoms

Pay your rent by standing order and then you won't even need to come into contact with your landlord unless there's any maintenance issues. I don't know why she's coming to you to do jobs for her, and less so why you accept them.

i would never pay my rent in cash 🤔 if she wanted to she could say she never got it..
or when ot comes to moving out she could say you owe her rent and take it from the deposit :S it leaves so much open for trouble

diverseabilities.org.uk/advice

Here’s another who may be able to help and it might be worth googling ‘advocacy charity ‘ for your local area.

I’m not medically qualified but hoping that someone who is will be able to come along with suggestions of how to go forwards for you both from here. There is all sorts of support that she should be able to be getting and it’s awful you are having to fight so hard.

Realise it’s personal but would you be able to outline more about her condition? Also other than a MRI scan what tests have been done? Which type of specialists has she seen?

I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis for what the Rheumatologist thinks is most likely Psoriatic Arthritis which is hard to diagnose as often nothing shows up in blood tests and I’m only getting as far as I am as 1) I can pay to go privately 2) I used to work in a Rheumatology department so had some knowledge and know who the best local consultants are. The consultant I saw said at my appointment that we may need to discuss me taking Methotrexate so I think he feels that is more likely than not.

My GP wasn’t able to refer me on the NHS and I did think at the time what happens to people on my situation who can’t pay ? Your partner sounds like her mobility is more compromised than mine. I feel really cross on your behalf.

You should follow up on the complaint.

There is an ombudsman but you have to have gone through the internal process first.

The behaviour of the previous surgery is irrelevant to this complaint. I hope that your partner complained about them too.

Where do you get your income from if neither of you can work (she due her condition and you as her carer) or claim benefits (since her condition is undiagnosed).

@femfemlicious

What exactly are your partners symptoms

Mental health - Symptoms of mpd/did, stress, anxiety, depression, dizziness, ptsd. Physical health - Symptoms of joint-stiffness, muscle pain, spasms, exhaustion, loss of control. Just off the top of my head.

@stingofthebutterfly

Pay your rent by standing order and then you won't even need to come into contact with your landlord unless there's any maintenance issues. I don't know why she's coming to you to do jobs for her, and less so why you accept them.

Because I thought it would be something that would benefit both my partner and my landlord and I was wrong. I have no issues paying in cash though, I get receipts and logs of my rent payments and associated monies. Thank you.

@Kuachui

i would never pay my rent in cash 🤔 if she wanted to she could say she never got it.. or when ot comes to moving out she could say you owe her rent and take it from the deposit :S it leaves so much open for trouble

I have receipts for the rent and associated monies and it's logged in a book in the estate agents as a back-up, but I understand paying rent in cash isn't for everyone. There was another thread on here about whether or not it's unreasonable to pay cash to a window cleaner. Not everyone's the same and I respect that.

@Volterra

diverseabilities.org.uk/advice

Here’s another who may be able to help and it might be worth googling ‘advocacy charity ‘ for your local area.

I’m not medically qualified but hoping that someone who is will be able to come along with suggestions of how to go forwards for you both from here. There is all sorts of support that she should be able to be getting and it’s awful you are having to fight so hard.

Realise it’s personal but would you be able to outline more about her condition? Also other than a MRI scan what tests have been done? Which type of specialists has she seen?

I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis for what the Rheumatologist thinks is most likely Psoriatic Arthritis which is hard to diagnose as often nothing shows up in blood tests and I’m only getting as far as I am as 1) I can pay to go privately 2) I used to work in a Rheumatology department so had some knowledge and know who the best local consultants are. The consultant I saw said at my appointment that we may need to discuss me taking Methotrexate so I think he feels that is more likely than not.

My GP wasn’t able to refer me on the NHS and I did think at the time what happens to people on my situation who can’t pay ? Your partner sounds like her mobility is more compromised than mine. I feel really cross on your behalf.

I appreciate the sentiment, but please try not to feel cross in any way, I appreciate the nhs and associated gps but honestly it's clear to see how hard they're struggling themselves with everything that's happened. I can't remember exactly what specialists my partner saw because a lot of them were pre-covid but she went to a musculoskeletal specialist quite a few times and they've put her on a waiting list for physiotherapy but they said even outside of covid that could take months if not years because of how long the waiting list is.

Totally tangential, but I once had a landlord who had a term in the contract saying every time I used the kettle I had to fill it up with water ready for next time.
Had a different landlord with terms that included not keeping a caravan on the property (it was a first floor flat with no outside space), and not working as a prostitute! Neither caused problems in practice, but I did find it a bit odd!

I would tell your landlord to get stuffed, and keep relations strictly "landlordy", but they are unreasonable as a breed imo.

@Waahingwashingwashing

You should follow up on the complaint.

There is an ombudsman but you have to have gone through the internal process first.

The behaviour of the previous surgery is irrelevant to this complaint. I hope that your partner complained about them too.

I'll give the gp a call and see if there was any follow-up on the complaint. My partner doesn't have the confidence to complain so I ended up complaining on her behalf. At least if there's something further, it'll be something good for her to know that someone's looking out for her.

@TheOrigRights

Where do you get your income from if neither of you can work (she due her condition and you as her carer) or claim benefits (since her condition is undiagnosed).

I'm not officially her carer as she has no diagnosis, so we rely on a joint universal credit claim and hope month by month we don't get sanctioned.

Your partner really needs to keep a record of who she has seen, the letters they’ve sent following appointments (ask for them), what follow ups are required and the time scales for these and any other referrals that are made following those specialist appointments.

It’s awful to say but you need to be on top of all this or you’ll slip to the bottom of the pile.