AIBU to think my landlord needs to grow up?

[WOBNIARM]

On Tuesday just gone (16th) my landlord came to pick up the rent for the month and suggested to me that she needs flyers handing out to shop noticeboards and homes for her new business and asked whether or not I would be willing to do it for her, a few thousand in return for £20.
I explained to her that it wouldn't be as easy to just do all of the flyers immediately because I have to support my partner 24/7 with both her mental and physical health. I explained that this meant that my partner would need to come with me in her wheelchair and that'd make it less easy due to my partner's bones being affected by the cold weather so we couldn't spend as much time out of the warm home we have, more than anything.
My landlord accepted this and just requested that I update her on how I get on, where I've managed to get the flyers to, so she knows where her business is coming from.
Within 5 hours, I'd managed to get them into around 25 out of 30 stores canteens, noticeboards and counters, so I let the landlord know.
Thursday (18th) comes around and my partner having being out for those 5 hours on the Tuesday meant that for the Wednesday (17th) and Thursday she felt like she was practically comatose in her bed, unable to move about due to pain everywhere.
The landlord decided to point out to me that the weather's been dry and is due to be dry all this week, but I had to point out to her that dry weather doesn't mean it's not cold.
My partner was getting a bit annoyed by this (naturally I talk to her about anything that goes on in our lives and affects us.) so my partner called up the landlord.
On the phone call to the landlord, the landlord proceeded to tell my partner that I'd not once mentioned the difficulties that my partner would be facing and the landlord then said if we're not willing to post the flyers (which we had been doing) than she would just get someone else to do it and expects to get the flyers back (which obviously we can't do) as well as £15 out of the £20 she gave us originally for doing it.
I've made up my mind to just give the £15 to the landlord and tell her to get someone else if that's what she really wants, rather than telling lies about not knowing of my partner's disability and causing stress as a result.

Am I being unreasonable to think my landlord needs to grow up?

@Ponoka7

You've done most of the flyers, so the LL gets £5-£10 back. Do you get proper receipts for the rent? Have you been to the Citizens Advice? What are you doing to push for help?

While I've done most of the flyers, the landlord has stated the amount they want back. As much as I'd rather not give the landlord the amount they want, I'd also much rather keep the peace and not have to worry about the landlord raising the rent, for example. I have receipts from the landlord and receipt copies in a book held by the estate agent, yes. I haven't been to the citizen's advice bureau, no, I'm not sure this is a matter for them. As far as I'm concerned I just tried to do the landlord a nice favour because she asked if I could. It was my mistake in thinking she'd be understanding and listen to what I was saying.

I’m sorry about your partner. I agree it’s best to keep it strictly as landlord tenant arrangement.

For the record cash isn’t easier these days, online banking is. it’s then all recorded ready for tax return that landlord should be doing, but that’s an aside.

At the risk of missing the point, what support is your partner receiving to get investigations and a diagnosis? It does sound as if you're both struggling massively and they need to be investigating to get that diagnosis for your DP so you can then claim any support and benefits you're entitled to

Why did you agree to do 5 hours of work for £20 with a wheelchair bound partner in tow anyway?

It sounds like you and your partner are maybe both vulnerable and your landlord is taking advantage of you? You don't have to do any jobs for her. Do you have anyone supporting you who you can seek advice from?

I just paid the Royal Mail £1200 to deliver 8,000 leaflets so you're being MASSIVELY EXPLOITED

I’m a little bit more awake now, this is ridiculous that you are having to take your partner out in a wheelchair and do this for £20 .

I can see that you are saying your partner doesn’t have a diagnosis, what kind of medical care is she receiving ? I’m guessing that she isn’t receiving PIP? I don’t know much about it but I do know there are places that will help you with applications as they are notoriously and have people who could advocate for your partner. My very limited understanding that it isn’t diagnosis dependent but people are assessed on how their condition impacts on their daily living and mobility and something was supposed to have come into force to ,are it easier to claim for hidden disabilities.

Is this something we could help you look into ? There are some very knowledgeable on MN and someone will know about this.

You know you don't need a diagonsis for pip? You just need evidence of Heath care needs from professionals involved..... it'd be a hell of a lot easier applying for PIP than delivering leaflets and making them unwell. Consider it.

Totally not the point of your post I know but please tell me you get a receipt from the landlord when you give the rent over in cash?

@Volterra

I’m sorry about your partner. I agree it’s best to keep it strictly as landlord tenant arrangement.

For the record cash isn’t easier these days, online banking is. it’s then all recorded ready for tax return that landlord should be doing, but that’s an aside.

I understand online banking may be easier for a lot of people, but as far as I'm concerned, what the landlord does or doesn't do with the money, isn't my business as long as I get my receipt and payment logged. Having said that, I'm not against online banking, I think it's a wonderful tool and I hope it helps many people. Thank you for your kind message.

What support is your partner getting to be diagnosed? That would open the door to help and support for you both I think?

@tailspin21

At the risk of missing the point, what support is your partner receiving to get investigations and a diagnosis? It does sound as if you're both struggling massively and they need to be investigating to get that diagnosis for your DP so you can then claim any support and benefits you're entitled to

I appreciate you asking. At current, my partner is not receiving any support other than myself. All she's been told is get the gp to keep looking at any potentials, but the gp just turns around and says I don't know. I constantly put pressure on them for her, because both of us get pressure from Universal Credit. I only wanted to help and tried to because the money helps us at a time when we face being sanctioned because even though I need to be there for her 24/7, UC still expects me to work. I want to know what's wrong so she can have the right support she needs. When it comes to it, I'm like a dog with a bone, I will NOT let go.

@User5252727

Why did you agree to do 5 hours of work for £20 with a wheelchair bound partner in tow anyway?

It sounds like you and your partner are maybe both vulnerable and your landlord is taking advantage of you? You don't have to do any jobs for her. Do you have anyone supporting you who you can seek advice from?

I agreed to do it, because it was supposedly going to help the landlord and help my partner. It was my mistake, and I've learned from that. The best advice in my opinion is always life experience, but I'm always willing to listen to other's advice if they're happy to give it.

@LaurieFairyCake

I just paid the Royal Mail £1200 to deliver 8,000 leaflets so you're being MASSIVELY EXPLOITED

I guess it's easier to give one person £20 rather than give a big company £1200, but I agree, I know better now.

@Volterra

I’m a little bit more awake now, this is ridiculous that you are having to take your partner out in a wheelchair and do this for £20 .

I can see that you are saying your partner doesn’t have a diagnosis, what kind of medical care is she receiving ? I’m guessing that she isn’t receiving PIP? I don’t know much about it but I do know there are places that will help you with applications as they are notoriously and have people who could advocate for your partner. My very limited understanding that it isn’t diagnosis dependent but people are assessed on how their condition impacts on their daily living and mobility and something was supposed to have come into force to ,are it easier to claim for hidden disabilities.

Is this something we could help you look into ? There are some very knowledgeable on MN and someone will know about this.

My partner doesn't have PIP, no. They keep saying that what we're saying doesn't match up with what the gp's saying, because the gp doesn't have the diagnosis for the issues she's facing despite us explaining the issues to the gp. We have tried to get support from organisations that deal with physical health such as walking groups and mental health such as counselling and a uc workcoach has also tried to help us with this, getting us endless numbers to call for various different organisations, but as of yet all the ones we've tried so far have just turned us away due to no diagnosis. These days, everything seems to need a diagnosis.

Even without a diagnosis your partner should be getting some support if she cannot be left at home without you there. Have you tried applying for PIP - I know its not easy but there is alot of support out there - look at the charities which have links to her issues - e.g. mind if it is mental health etc. At the very least she should be getting ESA as should you, and potentially carers allowance. None of these require a diagnosis.

That said working on a diagnosis would help also.

@DoctorWhoTardis

You know you don't need a diagonsis for pip? You just need evidence of Heath care needs from professionals involved..... it'd be a hell of a lot easier applying for PIP than delivering leaflets and making them unwell. Consider it.

That's not currently an option for us, other than the gp who PIP claims the records do not match for, there's no other professionals involved, any we have attempted to get involved have merely told us they cannot help us without the diagnosis in the first place. I've made numerous claims with my partner and every time it's the same struggle, but yet I continue to try to help her claim and go through all the appeals processes. At the moment, it's just not on the cards. Gotta keep faith though!

@Flowerlane

Totally not the point of your post I know but please tell me you get a receipt from the landlord when you give the rent over in cash?

Yes, I do. Thank you for your concern. I appreciate this.

@Waahingwashingwashing

What support is your partner getting to be diagnosed? That would open the door to help and support for you both I think?

There's no support in place without a diagnosis right now.

That definitely shouldn’t be right. Pip is based on what your partner can and can’t do - with support from the GP and other specialists.

Can you go back to the various specialists she’s seen for support?

Unmerited

I know this isn’t the point but how come your landlord is collecting the rent? Is it cash? I’d maybe worry that your deposit isn’t in an approved scheme etc“

This worried me too. I think your landlord may be exploiting you and your situation.

Apply for PIP. If your partner is wheelchair bound and needs around the clock care she is absolutely entitled to support.

Does the doctor not even have a diagnosis for her physical condition? How many different GPs have you seen?

@LittleOwl153

Even without a diagnosis your partner should be getting some support if she cannot be left at home without you there. Have you tried applying for PIP - I know its not easy but there is alot of support out there - look at the charities which have links to her issues - e.g. mind if it is mental health etc. At the very least she should be getting ESA as should you, and potentially carers allowance. None of these require a diagnosis.

That said working on a diagnosis would help also.

We have tried numerous charities, but what's been suggested and tried endlessly also with the help of a uc workcoach is counselling and walking groups. These things don't help and we request to find out if these organisations and others can help her more, but it's like hitting a brick wall when they just tell you they can't help further without a diagnosis. She cannot get ESA as she's on UC and they won't change it without a diagnosis, and you cannot get carer's allowance unless the person you're caring for has a diagnosis and some form of disability payment. I WISH it was that easy. I'm just happy that right now, my partner has me, because I couldn't bear to think of her on her own with no one.

@Waahingwashingwashing

That definitely shouldn’t be right. Pip is based on what your partner can and can’t do - with support from the GP and other specialists.

Can you go back to the various specialists she’s seen for support?

She's seen numerous specialists multiple times, gone for various different scans, had a variety of tests, all coming back to nada. The viewpoint of the gp (I believe) is that they can't just say "she can't do anything", otherwise they're potentially saying the wrong thing and can get in trouble.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Unmerited

I know this isn’t the point but how come your landlord is collecting the rent? Is it cash? I’d maybe worry that your deposit isn’t in an approved scheme etc“

This worried me too. I think your landlord may be exploiting you and your situation.

My deposit is safe. It's all logged. As far as I can tell the landlord just prefers cash. I get receipts. What she does with the cash afterwards is not my problem, so I don't really bother to ask.

@girlmom21

Apply for PIP. If your partner is wheelchair bound and needs around the clock care she is absolutely entitled to support.

Does the doctor not even have a diagnosis for her physical condition? How many different GPs have you seen?

The doctor does not have any diagnosis at all for either her mental health or her physical health and that's why there's a struggle. She's been through four different gp's and we can't really go to one out of our catchment area, go private or simply move as we've been advised in the past. I've actually been turned away from organisations that support people by letting them use wheelchairs, because of no diagnosis, I have to get wheelchairs from charity shops that have had them donated and hope they last long enough before we need to buy the next one. I mean, that's a big expense. If we could get PIP sorted, we would. It's been applied for so many times, appealed so many times. It all just comes down to the gp not having a diagnosis, and their records don't match up with ours because they don't experience the 24/7.