‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I usually love it but this year I'm desperately sad and lonely so it isn't fun

Do you not see your family and friends outside of Christmas? Wouldn’t you do those things anyway?
Well I do of course,family in particular but for me it's special at Christmas
Any way each to their own

All the plastic crap, all the waste, all the greed, all the bitching about who bought who what and whose house who is going to - it’s all unnecessary. It’s nice to have some time off, and have some nice food - but everything else, nope

I think Christmas is bittersweet for most people apart from a very fortunate few, actually. Which doesn't mean I don't enjoy aspects of it, just that it is mixed. I think when people say they 'aren't a Christmas person' they mean there is more in the background, they just don't want to burden someone who is happy dappy and bring them down. This is not exactly the answer to your question, because it does involve trauma and bereavement, but here goes: my abusive unemployed alcoholic father died on Xmas eve 1995. That was a downer. DH and I don't have kids and spend Xmas together as family scattered after Dad died. I enjoy the run-up and the day itself up to a point. But basically, it brings crashing home to me everything that's 'wrong' with my life, ie I am not at the heart of a big, happy loving family, and that makes me feel so desolate and inferior. This is despite having achieved a lot in life and having lovely friends, lovely mum and other family. It's just a symbol of everything missing, and although I know it's not my fault, it feels awful. I have come a long way from my early home life with my father and desperately unhappy mum, but not far enough to have managed to create the perfect picture book Xmas for myself and it makes me feel very inadequate as I think I've fallen short, and I should have been able to. I had a big MH collapse one year over it, so now I just try to get through as best I can and not expect too much. I hope your Christmases continue to be lovely and you never have to deal with this annual bleurgh, as I see it. I console myself that it is only one day. Still, Boxing Day is my favourite day of the year!

Overhyped and I just don’t like it, no particular reason but I’m so happy when it’s all over, this enforced happiness, if nobody likes Easter there is no shock and horror so why when it’s Christmas 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm not a Christmas person as I don't celebrate it. I used to be annoyed about being Jewish when I was a kid but I have to say I am glad I don't have to do anything about it! I mean, I do enjoy the break and taking part in friend's and workmate's Christmas stuff but looking in from the outside a lot of what people do and put themselves through for it seems pretty crazy to me

It goes on for months now. Wouldn't mind it if it was for a few days

More expense, more stress, more housework, more feeding people, more trips to shops, more things to do eh. Wrapping presents, writing cards, delivering presents, buying presents, buying extra food, making Christmas dinner, cleaning up after Christmas dinner etc. That’s not including decorating and stuff. I hate Christmas. Everywhere gets busy and everyone makes you feel like a rubbish parent for not being able to afford to get your kids things they want and for a mum it’s just more and more and more work to add to my already full plate. When exH lived with us he worked all Christmas because he worked a just where he was on call so it was still all me, but admittedly money wasn’t as tight back then. But now Christmas is just miserable.

@FangsForTheMemory

The expense, the forced jollity, the memories of having to spend the day with unspeakable relatives, the way people use it as an excuse to get into debt, the general tackiness . . .

This 👆 and having worked in the health service for 30 years, plus lived through a long unhappy marriage, I’m always aware that the social. pressure to be extra happy at Christmas, makes unhappiness much more painful. Domestic violence, self half etc increases in the ‘festive season’!

I think the trick is not get caught up in all the hype, I love the decorations especially the one outside the house as it’s so dark and I think some decks down the street makes it look much nicer. I never worried if one child had more parcels then the other. Also not going to lose sleep if I can’t get pigs in blankets. So decks go up first weekend in December, Santa only bought one present per child, only bought them one big present for the kids ourselves , never really did stocking fillers, as Santa left his present next to the fireplace. Rest of family bought the kids tons. And don’t do adult gifts. Love the Panto and midnight mass !! just enjoy your friends and family and don’t worry of you burn the sprouts!! On the day try get a lovely long walk clears the mind, wears the kids and dog out!!

I think it boils down to money when I think about it. Im sure if I had lots of cash the fact that I could buy wonderful presents for my family (of 3, mother, son (25) and partner) I would enjoy it. We basically live month to month so finding extra is very hard. My father always used to Christmas was just for shopkeepers!

I have a love hate relationship with Christmas.

I love decorating. I love the music. I love the food.

But I hate that it's consumeristic bullshit.

New PJs is one thing I do like though - because it's not wasteful, as you need PJs anyway. I give the kids new ones on christmas eve but they wear them as normal PJs through the year, and it adds to the cosiness and fun. (I get myself new ones too...)

Not a box or anything though.

Please don’t get in debt, your mum will not want a present from you if she knows it’s going on the credit card that you are struggling to pay, She just wants some time with you not a silly present. This rule is for everyone who loves you and for everyone that you love.
Only buy what you can afford , if you are struggling to buy a present for your kids please get in contact with your local charity’s , they will happily drop of gifts for your children. Ask your school office or your local radio station or your social worker/health visitor if they can put you forward for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Please just don’t get in debt.

It's materialistic claptrap these days. Drags on and on. People get into debt trying to be like how it is in the adverts and for a lot of people it is forced happiness in a shit Christmas jumper.

I like it fine on the day

I hate the hype. The over-expenditure. The silly extras; eg stockings for grown-ups. Really?

Yeah, unmet expectations and debt; just what baby Jesus would have wanted.

The pressure to pretend you are having the best time ever.
The huge wastefulness of it all.
The utter hypocrisy of claiming any of it has anything to do with actual Christmas.
The way it all starts so early that people are bored of it by Boxing Day.
The way it infiltrates every part of life.

Miserable, tense Christmases with cold-warring parents in my childhood; equally miserable, tense ones for the same reason once I'd gone to uni and came back to visit.
They've now been divorced for a while but in a way it's harder; very political over who I should spend it with. So it's easier just to go away or stay at home. But I still feel residual guilt, as well as a sense of 'Why don't I have nice family Christmases?' It's a very complicated and difficult time for me.
I also dislike the ramped-up buying and eating frenzy and the message that you have to buy more/cook more/gift more/do more/be better every year.
And since becoming a Mumsnetter I've had it really brought home to me how gendered it all is. I'm sure Dadsnet doesn't have screeds of threads of men agonising over how they'll afford it/what to cook/how to appease warring factions/deal with the mother-in-law.

I like Christmas much more than I used to! For me it was mainly a time associated with trauma and various issues within my life. I'm a lot better now but do still worry about Christmas and have the fear of not enjoying it. Last year I made a special effort to put the tree up early, go shopping, put Christmas lights up and enjoy the season in a new way to try and prevent another year of me just "getting through it". I'm planning to put the tree up soon and do my best to get into the spirit! Have even bought an advent calendar 😂

Reasons I hate Xmas

1. Don’t believe in Jesus/Christianity etc
2. ridiculous amount of upmanship
3. waste of money on presents not wanted or needed
4. snow always bloody snow

I want the four days off in summer

The negative side for me is not so much the commercialism (though I've managed on the whole to escape pressures to spend overwhelming amounts and get into debt), but the perfectionism. I have already mentioned that having to host and cook for people who might criticize my performance causes me extreme anxiety; I'd almost rather have to take a high-stakes exam! But also there seems to be an increasing preoccupation with making Christmas 'magical'. I may be looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses, but as far as I remember, in the past a 'magical' Christmas was mainly a consideration with regard to young children. After the age of 10 or so, Christmas was supposed to be fun, but not necessarily magical. I do think that social media has increased the perfectionism.

4) snow always bloody snow

I also hate snow, or rather the icy slippery pavements that result from it (soft thick snow is fine.) But in England, or at least the southern part of it where I live, snow at Christmas is fortunately rare, despite the Christmas cards. If we have snow, it's usually in January or February.

Where do you live where it always snows at Christmas @Mesoavocado?

I can't remember the last time we had snow on Christmas Day.

I used to love Christmas, but gradually, as family has dwindled, it's become a non event.

Many people have stopped bothering sending cards, some have said they don't want to bother buying presents. Fine, but it has taken the excitement and magic out of Christmas as no-one can be bothered to make an effort, so what's the point?

Then there are those who make no effort to buy presents you actually like and sit twiddling with their phones, not talking to you, waiting for their dinner to be put on the table.

The mention of Christmas right now fills me with dread not happiness. Can't wait until it's over.

Christmas is essentially a con. An event created by the Christians to compete with the Pagan winter solstice celebration a few days earlier. 'Jesus's birthday' is thought to be sometime in the summer. The holly and mistletoe is from pagan times but the whole present giving, card sending, turkey cooking, tree chopping thing was kicked off by the Victorians. These days it is just a commercial exercise in amongst some form of family gathering.