‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I work in a school for troubled teens, where as you'd expect, many of their issues stem from their home life.

Behaviour problems go through the roof in the lead up to Christmas as they "look forward" to a time when people drink even more than usual, their usual support is unavailable, you're "supposed" to be happy and loved and they're constantly reminded how much others have compared to them. It's a sad sad time for too many people.

It’s ruined for me also. The fact that it goes on for months has taken all the sparkle off it. It doesn’t feel special, just something that happens for a quarter of the year.
We live a big distance from DHs family so the expectation to go there (or rarely they came to us) and it was awful. It’s left me with anxiety about Xmas even though PILs have died and we don’t go anymore, even to his sibling, as it was horrendous and I used to dread it all year. Now I just try and make it special for DD.

@OhMyCrump

I used to be a really into Christmas person, but actually the older i get the less I like it! So much pressure (which i ignore but still feel iyswim!) and the earlier it starts now, its all hype hype hype which actually takes away what's supposed to be nice about it. To me it should be Christmas for about 2 weeks in December. Then I'd probably still love it.

This is me. Although I would cut that 2 weeks down to 1 week... 24-31st Dec. Everything back to normal on 1st Jan.

I like lots of things about Christmas but a lot of things annoy me about It
I'm a bit of an introvert these days (worse since covid) and it's the constant activities and outings on top of an already very busy life.
I'm also a bit arghhh with the extreme consumerism and waste
Also I was once in a terrible relationship and Christmas was the most depressing thing ever when I was going through a shit time - still can't listen to the east 17 Christmas song as it reminds me of such a miserable time contrasting with 'the most wonderful time of the year' pressure

I've always said I would enjoy Christmas if it lasted for 48 hours, no longer.

I hate the day- really grates on me that I don’t have a big house/ dining table- and generally makes me feel glum that I have a small family (no parents, no extended family- a sister/ niece and nephew who I adore but see most days so nothing special or different)

I use to love it but now I dread it, 4 miscarriages and 1 cp over 3 years and I always wake up with an ache in my heart of the way it should be instead of how it is.

I’m another lone parent so only celebrate it for my kids but it’s a lot of pressure and expense, it’s all on me as they have no other family that buy for them, we also don’t visit anyone and it’s just us so I can feel lonely with lack of adult interaction

I agree @Theanswerisblowinginthewind but this thread probably won't go well.

I hate giving and receiving gifts. Me and family are not that close and we are really struggling for money at the minute. I hate having to spend hours of my precious almost non existential free time round the shops for things that they won't particularly like, and hate being given yet more crap I don't need when I would have really used the money they spent on it. This makes me sound really mean - I promise I'm not! Love buying for birthdays it's just doing it all together at Christmas that I hate. A

It's the worst time of the year for me weather wise, get SAD etc

Previous workplaces had enforced jollity

Shops and Tube worse than usual

Pressure to visit family worse than usual

What's to like?

We've been away a couple of times, major improvement but sooo expensive.

I love Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - crib service, big turkey lunch with family, excited kids etc.

As others have said, it's all the waste and consumerism that I don't like. I'd love it if everyone in the UK unilaterally agreed to cut back on the present giving.

Overblown pointless consumerism.

It goes on and on and on for weeks too.

I refuse to partake in the forced merriment and spectacular display of capitalism that is Christmas. I will look at the real live trees outside and stare at their beauty not a tinsel adorned shape taking up space in my living room. I will use the few days off work to inwardly reflect and rest. I will not spend money on stuff just because we are expected to. I will buy my loved ones gifts when they need it or when I want to give it to them. I refuse to spend my hard earned cash on a tat for Dave from HR because the Secret Santa told me to. I will not eat turkey, there is only 2 of us and we'll be munching it for months. I hate turkey. Fuck right off with your Christmas spiced washing powder - it does not add to the magic of Christmas. I will however have fairy lights because, well they're up all year round and they look nice. I'd happily start a campaign for mince pies to be sold all year round like hot cross buns.

@DoctorWhoTardis

Because everyone ruined it by making it drag on for two months rather than two weeks. It's just not special anymore it's like living in whoville!

This. It goes on a sixth of the year. It's madness.

Do you realise that lots of the 'Christmas cheer' is socially enforced and endless commercial greed, many of the jolly people are pretending to avoid coercive questions about why they dare to be different.

I am a Christmas person in the sense that I enjoy Christmas Day with close family and I like being off over the bank holidays eating chocolates etc on the couch all day.

I just hate all the build up. The shopping, people everywhere, the work related events and wackiness, the adverts, Christmas songs in November etc.

I think some people get too caught up in the consumerist side of Christmas (expensive presents etc) and lots of people who hate that think that's what Christmas is about so they hate the holiday.

Personally, I love Christmas. It's the only time of year when most of my family is off work. The Christmas decorations in cities are stunning and I look forward to a nice family meal. It's also an excuse to meet friends out in the run up to Christmas. I like the Christmas socials.

Brought up in care. Little celebration at Xmas time. Drug abusing dad dead. No contact with rest of family. Single mum on low income trying my best to juggle things with dignity. I’ve been alone for more Xmas days than I can remember and I will be again this year as my child is with their dad. I’m sure people have many other reasons different from me. Why does it bother you? Many of us have to graciously accept (what seems like) everyone else’s overhyped approach and general over the top nonsense as rote… maybe you could just accept them at their word, recognise that people are different and that’s ok. And leave it at that.

Its just got so crazy over the years hasn't it! Was it really simpler in my childhood of the 80s or was it just that I was a kid myself then?
Last few years I've really gone back to basics and simplified, said no to a lot more etc. But I have to make a conscious effort to ignore the pressure.

Because Christmas now takes up about a quarter of the year and it all gets fucking tedious by the time you get to the actual day

I've hated it since my dad died, despite not being religious, he made Christmas.

Add to that I don't like Christmas food, I don't like Christmas smells and it's expensive. I also think we've drifted so far away from what Christmas is actually about?

@PinkPiranha11

I just can’t be arsed with it. It just feels like a lot of work, usually for women to take on board - on top of their already horrific mental load. It’s always the same every year and it just feels more and more consumerist every year. Plus there’s now the additional pressure of people #makingmemories on Facebook etc. It’s just very tiresome.

I like the Christmas lights, good stuff on TV, etc but I hate the enforced fun.

I totally agree. The expense of it and all the things that seem to have become almost compulsory. When did Christmas Eve become a thing? All the pointless and OTT gift buying, sometimes for relatives one barely has any contact with. Children whose expectations are going through the roof. There is a very long thread currently on MN where the OP is proposing to take on more debt because her child needs £300 spent on presents. Some of the replies make me go WTF...

I love the kind of Christmas that is centered around nativity plays, midnight mass, pine cones and candles, a simple tree and being together with loved ones, exchanging just a few gifts, especially home-made ones.

My chief pleasure at this time of the year is crafting presents with my granddaughter, which she loves as much as I do. I still have some the things my own children made for my parents way back when, and these are more precious to me than any scented candles or toiletry gift-sets that I might have bought for them to gift.

I enjoy Christmas AT Christmas. What I object to is 6 weeks of forced jollity and fuss everybloodywhere you go. I don't like the assumptions from many people that everyone does Christmas in the same way, and that "Christmas" (aka the entire month of December at the very least) has to revolve around drunken parties, overeating and overspending on tonnes of plastic tat.

I love the actual Christmas period, from Christmas eve onwards, although in terms of doing 'Christmas things" 2-3 days is enough. I love the time spent with family, but we live locally enough that it's a few hours rather than a few days. I love the excitement of having a handful of well chosen presents that show how well someone knows me. I love the nativity story (although also know Jesus was most likely born in Summer)

I hate the wasteful consumerism it has become. I hate the pressure to cover the house in lights when I can barely afford the electricity bill anyway. I hate the pressure to buy a sea of expensive things just so there's something to open. I hate the fact I'm seen as a 'Scrooge' because we don't cover the house in lights/put the tree up on 1st Dec/have Christmas eve boxes or elf on the shelf. I hate the expectation that I'll spend money I don't have buying things people don't need.

And also, despite the lovely big family I'm fucking lonely. I'm a single parent. I've been single for 10 of DS1s 17 years (had a 2 year relationship a few years ago). Christmas, and all the images of happy families, and it being the perfect time to get engaged are just a painful reminder of the fact I have never been "enough" for anyone.