‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I enjoy Christmas somewhat now, especially now that I have DD, but for many years I hated it and was "not a Christmas person".
Why?
I've suffered from SAD symptoms all my life, December is particularly bad for that.
My gran died on Christmas Eve.
As a child we were skint so never got many presents. My dad was an alcoholic and abusive, in the lead up to Christmas his behaviour always ramped up for some reason. On the day itself there was always shouting, police called etc.
Then in the years after we left, it was just me and my mum at Christmas, it was peaceful but very low key and somewhat underwhelming. She wasn't really into making a big fuss either.

As a child, the sight of Christmas lights and the sound of carols filled me with dread as it was a precursor of what was to come. As an adult I just feel a bit "meh" about it all. I make an effort for DDs sake and I do enjoy the food etc but I never really understand the huge importance people place on the occasion (other than religious people) or the hysteria about Christmas being "cancelled" last year. You can get together with your family and have a meal together or buy people a present at any other time.

A lot of the posts on here seem to be less about hating Christmas and more about hating a particular tacky, commercialised form of Christmas and/or disliking their families.

I am a Christmas person to a degree, I love the family the gifts etc. But it makes me feel empty at the same time, I long for a child and seeing other people's children on Christmas morning all happy and excited makes me feel really empty.

I’m autistic, it’s just too much. Too much emphasis on jollity, too much to listen to, focus on, do. The forced expectations are horrendous, you have to be happy to receive gifts, despite the utterly innard-curdling need to run away from expectant faces.

That’s before you add in a family bereavement over Christmas a few years ago.

Nope. I am not a Christmas person at all.

We retreat, we chill together, but we don’t do the decor or the massive shenanigans. I don’t begrudge it for others, but I don’t get drawn into it for the sake of my own sanity.

I find all the commercialism around Christmas nauseating. Even as a child I hated the way it was all about money and presents and 'stuff'. I used to dread going back to school and all the other kids reeling off lists of expensive things they'd been given. My parents didn't believe in buying tat so we got a couple of presents and a stocking. I guess that's rubbed off on me because now as an adult, I don't do presents at all. I enjoy stuff like Christmas drinks with colleagues and friends, and I love a good Christmas dinner, but for me it's about the social time spent with people, not the money spent. I can't stand things like Secret Santa or organised fun either.

I do love spending it with family, even if we often argue and it's stressful and loud, but last year Christmas with just DP was blissful. Zero stress, zero expectation, we just got up and had champagne and smoked salmon, opened our modest gifts and cooked lunch together and spent the afternoon playing board games. In the evening we went for a stroll around the neighbourhood looking at people's lights/decorations, and then had red wine and cheese with a film. It was just so quiet and genuinely relaxing, and for me that's what it should be like. Low key.

A lot of the posts on here seem to be less about hating Christmas and more about hating a particular tacky, commercialised form of Christmas and/or disliking their families

Difficult to separate these things out though isn't it.
Another thing that winds me up is that it's all very well saying oh but the food is nice, but in reality people are then going to overeat and then spend all of January feeling bad about this and trying to lose weight, which is again another commercial enterprise these days.

My mom died on Christmas day. For me it is a difficult time made worse by people not being able to understand why you are not feeling jolly. Made the best of it for the kids, but not everyone is always feeling great.

Sorry, @Brainwave89

My DF died during a big national festival (different country) so there always parades etc and people asking how we're celebrating, just when we are feeling saddest. It's hard, isn't it?

@Brainwave89

My mom died on Christmas day. For me it is a difficult time made worse by people not being able to understand why you are not feeling jolly. Made the best of it for the kids, but not everyone is always feeling great.

I'm so sorry, that is so so tough. You poor thing

Loved the idea of Christmas as a child but the reality was very stressful. Parents insisting I must be grateful and show it, must like their presents over others given to me ( the year I really loved a gift from an aunt wasn’t a good Christmas) ughhh, nightmare I’d rather forget.
Did Christmas for my kids but glad they’ve got their own homes and families. Widowhood a few years back took any joy out of it really I just visit, smile and hand out a lot of overpriced crap ( as I see it)

Full disclosure ,I love Christmas.
But i totally respect that others don't

What does annoy me is the non Christmas people who go on about all the tat etc

I will no doubt get something lovely from DH but the things i love are not the presents or even the chocolate

I love seeing my mother and my siblings and their families on Christmas day,the girls lunch we have been having since Uni days,now just more Champagne than half pints of ciders,the big dinner out with 6 couples we have been friends with for years

You can have a ovely time with no tat !

My mum never liked Christmas after her dad died. She only did it all for me. Now she's gone I understand the feeling, but I have a dd that I need to do it all for. This will be the second Xmas without her. We are going to family. Hopefully with all the kids around, having fun together it will take some of the pain away.

user1487194234 posters have mentioned many other issues with Christmas. ‘Tat’ doesn’t feature highly.

For example, the nice things that you mention all require proximity or ability to travel to or host friends and family, free time and money. Any of which can be tricky for some.

I'm a single parent. Everything falls to me. It's exhausting. And even on a budget. It's expensive. Sometimes I wish it was like a leap year and only happens every four years

It can be very lonely for people

I just think it's a bit boring and naff.

The rampant commercialisation of Christmas: people getting into debt to buy stuff for their children. The feeling that everyone is having a great time
And your not. And also the bloody extra work that goes into it as a working parent

@MLMshouldbeillegal

Christmas should be like the olympics or World Cup. Once every 4 years.

Love this idea!

It would actually be something to look forward to if it happened less often.

@JumperandJacket

A lot of the posts on here seem to be less about hating Christmas and more about hating a particular tacky, commercialised form of Christmas and/or disliking their families.

Unless you stay in your own home and avoid going out into the world for weeks, it's hard to avoid all the commercial tacky tat. It's in every shop, pub, restaurant, on tv/radio, in the streets in town centres, and in a lot of workplaces.

Because having a birthday that day means I miss out on a lot. No special day out, meal, being pampered etc. Oh and 50+ years of being told "ooh your birthday's on Christmas Day?" get's a bit wearing.

What does annoy me is the non Christmas people who go on about all the tat etc

It’s been said countless times that it’s more than just about tat.

I love seeing my mother and my siblings and their families on Christmas day,the girls lunch we have been having since Uni days,now just more Champagne than half pints of ciders,the big dinner out with 6 couples we have been friends with for years

Do you not see your family and friends outside of Christmas? Wouldn’t you do those things anyway?

Christmas stresses me out.

I'm autistic, I don't like being around lots of people at the same time, I don't like crowding into small houses, and I don't like lots of noise/mess.

It just feels like an annoying obligation to me. I'd happily skip it.

But others in my family enjoy it so I generally slap a smile on and try to get on with it, though I'm usually the first to leave gatherings.

Oh god, and the elves, Christmas Eve boxes, matching pyjamas! Argh.

Hate it all

I think for a lot of people who make this comment it isn't the day itself they dislike, but the OTT build up to it.

It can feel tiresome when it goes on for 6-8 weeks prior and can cause inconvenience - e.g. 'I might nip to the shops this weekend, oh wait no I can't because I wont be able to find anywhere to park' - for the whole month of December.

Also dislike this obsession people have with "catching up before Christmas". It's like the world is going to end on Boxing Day therefore we must see each other during advent..