‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm not a 'Christmas' person. But I am a 'December' person.
To me 'Christmas' means an orgy of excess and an entire month of talking about one day. I find this depressing.
Instead I think of December as a month-long festival in which we celebrate winter and festive traditions. 'Christmas' only accounts for one day of it.
And all of my decorations are neutral Winter themed - with imagery of wildlife, snowflakes, fir trees etc. I don't have any religious imagery or Santa/elfs/rudolf etc etc.

@PinkPiranha11

I just can’t be arsed with it. It just feels like a lot of work, usually for women to take on board - on top of their already horrific mental load. It’s always the same every year and it just feels more and more consumerist every year. Plus there’s now the additional pressure of people #makingmemories on Facebook etc. It’s just very tiresome.

I like the Christmas lights, good stuff on TV, etc but I hate the enforced fun.

100% this.

If I was allowed to celebrate in the way I’d like to, I’d love Christmas. As that’s not an option, it’s just an expensive, stressful, frustrating time of year which I’d rather not do.

@DoctorWhoTardis

Because everyone ruined it by making it drag on for two months rather than two weeks. It's just not special anymore it's like living in whoville!

100% this. Plus the implication that I'm a killjoy because I don't want to wear a Christmas jumper or put my decorations up as soon as Halloween is over

Also anyone who claims to be a Christmas person should try having my PIL come to stay for 4 days over the "festive" period. Nothing festive about that

Plus the implication that I'm a killjoy because I don't want to wear a Christmas jumper or put my decorations up as soon as Halloween is over

I agree. The "who has put their Christmas tree up yet?" posts are already starting to appear on here.

I like to keep Christmas at Christmas.

I used to hate it. My dad died on the day after Boxing Day when I was a teen. Then the stress of being really busy at work and having to host the ILs every year. Also ttc without success and every Christmas thinking maybe next Christmas we’ll have a baby. However now I’m retired and it’s just me and DH I find myself enjoying it again. I love decorating the house and having the time to make Christmas cake (inc marzipan!) and mince pies.

@ouchmyfeet

Also anyone who claims to be a Christmas person should try having my PIL come to stay for 4 days over the "festive" period. Nothing festive about that

I feel your pain. For reasons that would be too outing to explain on here, my ILs stayed over Christmas and New Year!

It seems that a lot of people aren't just setting their own boundaries and enforcing them. I stopped sending cards before it became fashionable. We don't do adult presents. I gave myself good Christmases because I was brought up in severe abuse and didn't have any good occasions around my parents. I used occasions as part of my own therapy. I appreciate that I'm a solver personality, though. But yearly trauma shows that there's work to be done. Except for the death of your child/ childlessness etc, then I don't know how you'd get passed those, I probably wouldn't.

"Also anyone who claims to be a Christmas person should try having my PIL come to stay for 4 days over the "festive" period. Nothing festive about that"
The festive period started on the Advent (earlier for me), so it's four days out of 35 days.
I totally get not wanting to join in with everything, but surely there's something to salvage and feel joy about during the five weeks? Even if it's just the change in food/drink.

I totally get not wanting to join in with everything, but surely there's something to salvage and feel joy about during the five weeks? Even if it's just the change in food/drink.

I do normally enjoy the few days very close to Christmas, about 24th-27th. I love seeing the culmination of my hard work (and it is all mine, which is a point many PPs have made already). I enjoy the change in routine and time spent with my family. I don't enjoy hosting 2 ungrateful, critical guests with different traditions over exactly the same time period. It ruins those few lovely days.

At no point did i say I don't feel joy, I just don't like the fact that Christmas supposedly starts on 1st November.

IMO it must depend a lot on the sort of Christmases you had as a child. If they were mostly happy, you’ll still enjoy it all.

If they were blighted by a bad atmosphere at home, parents rowing, etc., or extreme poverty, then the associations will not be happy.

My folks were always pretty skint, and they did have their moments with rows, etc., but they did their best at Christmas, so my memories are overwhelmingly good.

Bereavement around that time is always very sad, but if you otherwise have happy associations, I don’t quite see how it should blight Christmases forever.

The 10th December is forever etched on my brain, because that was the day (over 20 years ago now) when my DM phoned in tears, to say the GP had just told her my father was dying.

He died exactly a month later, so that was a very sad, subdued Christmas, though of course we still made an effort for dds. But I never let it blight other Christmases. My DF was a very jolly, cheerful type so it’s the last thing he’d ever have wanted.

The consumerism
The plastic tat
The sameness of it
The expense
The expectation that we should all be a frenzy of activities, spending, decorating, and associated stress (all us women, that is)
I'm not from a culture that celebrates Christmas, and from the outside looking in in it doesnt look appealing! I do some of it, leave the shit bits

I am a time off work, Bailey's hot chocolate, long walks, few presents, eating nice food with my family person!! Just not the shitty, elf on a shelf bits!!

I hate it
I dislike the commercialism, the greed , the materialistic need to buy endless tat , the gaudiness of the ott decorations , the crowds in the shops buying stuff that puts many in debt , the claustrophobia of gatherings and forced bonhomie, the pressure to perform , the overspend , Christmas music Christmas movies , new Christmas traditions like Christmas Eve boxes , elf on the shelf , Christmas bedding , jumpers , pjs , that shops start Christmas merchandising in late summer , that folk decorate their houses in November , that it gets dragged on for months and months
I do like it in some foreign countries where it's still a religious festival that is kept traditional and simple , not over commercialised ( and no I'm not religious )

@greedygut

I hate it I dislike the commercialism, the greed , the materialistic need to buy endless tat , the gaudiness of the ott decorations , the crowds in the shops buying stuff that puts many in debt , the claustrophobia of gatherings and forced bonhomie, the pressure to perform , the overspend , Christmas music Christmas movies , new Christmas traditions like Christmas Eve boxes , elf on the shelf , Christmas bedding , jumpers , pjs , that shops start Christmas merchandising in late summer , that folk decorate their houses in November , that it gets dragged on for months and months I do like it in some foreign countries where it's still a religious festival that is kept traditional and simple , not over commercialised ( and no I'm not religious )

I was about to say the same, ypu saved me typing. Christmas was a much smaller event when I was young. A few afternoons in school making cards and paper chains, Christmas eve y the stockings and making mince pies, and then the special turkey lunch and trifle, playing with toys and a big tin of Quality Street. I hate two months of the same bloody Christmas music in shops, Christmas adverts and all the spending on tat.

I would also like to ban terms like Scrooge or Grinch which are often used by the Christmas lover brigade. If you're not fully on board with their piles of tat and north pole breakfasts you're a complete Scrooge, bah humbug.

Agree that it would be OK if "Christmas" was 2 weeks or so. I'm not a fan of the idea that it doesn't start until Christmas Eve and goes on until the 6th January. Far too late. But starting it around 15th Dec and finishing Boxing Day is perfect.

Shops have had Christmas tat since September. Christmas music has been playing since October. Our local council never removed the street lights from last Christmas "because of covid" . I know retailers are struggling but seriously, give us a break. I volunteer in a charity shop and we got out first delivery of Christmas stock to put out on Monday 30th August. So that's August, September, October, November, December, sale in January, final reductions in February.

That's more than half the year!!!

On the music things - I recommend podcasts which you can download to your phone, my car radio does bluetooth so I can just play those through the speakers instead of the shitty music.

I'm not religious. I was forced to participate or be excluded from family activities and affection when I was young. To me all of the Tele/ school/ social obsession with Christmas is a kick in the teeth. I won't do anything to promote any faith or put money in the pockets of controlling organisations

I miss the days of brilliant Christmas specials on TV such as Only Fools and Horses etc. I miss it when soaps were good and the Christmas episode was something worth watching. I miss the "movie premiere " or a good film on TV, Top of the pops and all round good telly on at Christmas.
Now it's pretty shit and nothing to get excited about. Just boring strictly come dancing...

@MLMshouldbeillegal

I am not a Christmas person.

It's a shit time of year, it's cold and very dark. On 25th December in Glasgow we get fewer than 7 hours of daylight. That's a lot of dark. I don't do cosy, and hygge, and snuggling, and hot chocolate and all of that shit.

I don't need any gifts, I don't want any gifts and I can't be arsed shopping for gifts.

We have nice food all year round, Christrmas is no different.

Roll on 1st January and new beginnings.

Here, here, cheers and happy hogmanay!

I don't like anything much about this time of year tbh - the grey skies, cold weather, darkness, and I especially hate snow. It seems to drag on forever and Christmas does nothing to brighten things up.
And it's nothing to do with having had a bad experience or bereavement at this time of year or having had bad Christmas' as a child because neither of these apply to me - I just don't like Christmas because I find the whole thing boring and tedious and it truly wouldn't bother me if it never happened again!
On the other hand I'm definitely a spring/summer sort of girl - I love blue skies, warm sunny long days, counting down the days until my holidays arrive ( I live for my holidays), beaches, wandering around tourist spots with picnics and taking loads of photos and making happy memories. Already counting till my first holiday of 2022 - first of 4 we've got planned - and as far as I'm concerned, Christmas can do one.

I totally get not wanting to join in with everything, but surely there's something to salvage and feel joy about during the five weeks? Even if it's just the change in food/drink.

Why is it assumed if we aren’t fond of the Christmas season we don’t feel joy?

That’s another part that annoys me about Christmas. If you simply say that it’s not your thing and leaving it at that there is seemingly something wrong with you. Also, it’s not really that big of a change in food. It’s still some type of Sunday Roast in many cases.

@FangsForTheMemory

The expense, the forced jollity, the memories of having to spend the day with unspeakable relatives, the way people use it as an excuse to get into debt, the general tackiness . . .

... all of above, plus the endless shite on tv, having to buy pointless crap for people who already have everything they need and be polite and gracious when they do the same for me, Christmas music in every fucking shop (some years ago, I abandoned a trolleyful of shopping in Tesco and walked out because I couldn't bear to hear the theme from "The Snowman" for the millionth time), pubs and restaurants full of pissed-up people, the complete and utter wastefulness of cards, gift wrap etc, the Rotary Club coming round with a fucking illuminated sleigh and piped carols knocking on the door for money, having to be polite to vile racist in-laws and much, much more.

The eating and drinking's ok though, I enjoy that bit.

Abd I do have a Christmas decoration. It's a metal sign, in "Keep Calm and Carry On" style, and it says "This is as festive as we get". I hang it prominently in the front window every year, without fail.

@phoenixrosehere

I totally get not wanting to join in with everything, but surely there's something to salvage and feel joy about during the five weeks? Even if it's just the change in food/drink.

Why is it assumed if we aren’t fond of the Christmas season we don’t feel joy?

That’s another part that annoys me about Christmas. If you simply say that it’s not your thing and leaving it at that there is seemingly something wrong with you. Also, it’s not really that big of a change in food. It’s still some type of Sunday Roast in many cases.

Agree about the cooking. I don't get why people make such a palaver over cooking what is essentially a roast dinner with a few extra side dishes.

I feel the same about Christmas as I do about other people's pets, there is an unwritten rule I must like both when not that keen on either to be honest.
People are amazed I don't have a dog or some kind of animal and not' mrs Christmas' !! Appears that I am the mad one and not them.
I've often swam against the tide with my cynicism over the festive season.
I feel sorry for the ones who have to work it all.

@MLMshouldbeillegal

I would also like to ban terms like Scrooge or Grinch which are often used by the Christmas lover brigade. If you're not fully on board with their piles of tat and north pole breakfasts you're a complete Scrooge, bah humbug.

Agree that it would be OK if "Christmas" was 2 weeks or so. I'm not a fan of the idea that it doesn't start until Christmas Eve and goes on until the 6th January. Far too late. But starting it around 15th Dec and finishing Boxing Day is perfect.

Shops have had Christmas tat since September. Christmas music has been playing since October. Our local council never removed the street lights from last Christmas "because of covid" . I know retailers are struggling but seriously, give us a break. I volunteer in a charity shop and we got out first delivery of Christmas stock to put out on Monday 30th August. So that's August, September, October, November, December, sale in January, final reductions in February.

That's more than half the year!!!

On the music things - I recommend podcasts which you can download to your phone, my car radio does bluetooth so I can just play those through the speakers instead of the shitty music.

I think it should be illegal to display anything Christmassy, play Christmas music, wear Christmassy clothes etc before 10th December.

I can't bear the sheer tackiness of it.

When I was at uni one of the girls I lived with sister committed suicide on Xmas day.