‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Aside from what you’ve acknowledged (grief at Christmas is ruthless and it will never ever disappear). For me it’s expense and busy roads/shops. Another thing is that people are still born this time of year and yet every single shop I go to has packed away/ has a much more limited selection of birthday things. It’s like no one is allowed to get older, it’s Christmas.
While I’m at it - Christmas music and Christmas adverts are horrendous and beyond irritating. Another thing is people faking how happy they are all the time. Smile, it’s Christmas. Some people have nothing to smile about and that’s totally acceptable.
Lonely people feel like shit at Christmas too. People with families abroad, unable to celebrate together but missing each other terribly by faking happiness that everyone else is with their families.
Terminal illness. Last Christmas ever together.

And I’m not even against Christmas. Surely you can understand all of the above things OP? To each their own but I wish the jolly jolly people would respect others too.

I love Christmas personally but I can totally see how its not for everyone. It's designed to emphasise family/intimate friends and relationships and lots of people don't have them or struggle with the ones they do have.

It's very difficult if you are grieving or bereaved.
Can be difficult if you don't have children.
Hard for people who don't like their family or don't have a SO or very close friends.
Difficult if you're in a loveless or abusive marriage.
Difficult for some people of other faiths.
Very expensive and difficult if you're skint.
Even on taste and decency grounds I think some people find it hard work. The tinsel and so forth. (I love this but its not for everyone).

It doesn't take a great deal of imagination to see that not everyone is going to feel warm and fuzzy about this.

I have Aspergers.

I love the idea of Christmas but I find the reality very overwhelming and over-stimulating.

I never have been !
I did the traditional things for the kids , but I was pleased when it was all over ..

I used to be a really into Christmas person, but actually the older i get the less I like it!
So much pressure (which i ignore but still feel iyswim!) and the earlier it starts now, its all hype hype hype which actually takes away what's supposed to be nice about it.
To me it should be Christmas for about 2 weeks in December. Then I'd probably still love it.

I just can’t be arsed with it. It just feels like a lot of work, usually for women to take on board - on top of their already horrific mental load. It’s always the same every year and it just feels more and more consumerist every year. Plus there’s now the additional pressure of people #makingmemories on Facebook etc. It’s just very tiresome.

I like the Christmas lights, good stuff on TV, etc but I hate the enforced fun.

For me, Xmas is for kids. Can't ser myself celebrating it once that's over.

The expense, the forced jollity, the memories of having to spend the day with unspeakable relatives, the way people use it as an excuse to get into debt, the general tackiness . . .

Because everyone ruined it by making it drag on for two months rather than two weeks. It's just not special anymore it's like living in whoville!

I live alone, and I just don't see the point.

Wow, sometimes I wonder at people who cannot imagine that life is different for other people 🤔. But getting back to your question, a quick think brings up

1. Childhood neglect
2. Parental death in childhood
3. Alcoholic parent(s)
4. Not being a Christian
5. Trauma via a church run institution or due to a priest / nun
6. Reaching adulthood and seeing clearly that Christmas (the Hollywood / Victorian England Romantic version) is just one great swindle against women, who do all of the work - for what? Why would you willingly spend the months of November and December crazily shopping for 1 hour of present giving?

I’m sure someone will be along with more suggestions later.

It's a lot of work and v expensive. And it can be hard work pleasing everyone with arrangements. I'd prefer it with less consumerism. It also takes over a good 2 months of the year in shops and other places. If it was just December it would feel more special. I like the food and the fairy lights and a tree (from mid Dec). Actually my theory is that we'd enjoy it more if it was every 2 years

It just feels like a lot of work, usually for women to take on board - on top of their already horrific mental load.

This is another very good point about Christmas. Its a time of year when the mental load for women is on steroids.

My mum used to have proper meltdowns every Christmas. She took it really seriously and was performative about tit (and did it pretty well to be fair). And my dad did feck all. I completely relate now.

I used to enjoy it but then I got bored with always being the one organising, buying, wrapping, decorating, cooking while others enjoyed the fruits of my labour without even a thank you.

All the unacknowledged effort gets a bit tiresome after a while.

Completely overwhelming and the hype surrounding it feels never ending, all the Christmas films, food in the shops etc already being churned out in November. I've never enjoyed it, even as a kid tbh

I hate Christmas.

I think it stems from a couple of things... a best friends mum dying on Christmas Day when I was a kid (now i worry about something bad happening on or around Christmas that would then ruin Christmas forever more for our family as it has my dear friends family)

And an ex boyfriend went out and cheated on me on Xmas eve many years ago. He didn't come home that night and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach - Christmas still brings back all those feelings.

I have a DS now so need to try and be a bit less Scrooge but I'm just a summer person and hate this time of year. All the build up for one exhausting day. So much expense and pressure.

I really wish I enjoyed and got excited about it!

The older you get, the more Christmases you've had to live through, the more bored you get with it all..

@DoctorWhoTardis

Because everyone ruined it by making it drag on for two months rather than two weeks. It's just not special anymore it's like living in whoville!

I agree!! Sick of it being rammed down my throat from end of October until January. Plus all the commercialisation and pressure to spend so much money from all angles, I find it just makes me feel like a failure if I'm not buying loads and wasting lots of food.

My friend will tell you she not a Christmas person. Her 17yo son died on Christmas Eve. She's not going to explain that to every idiot who insists she should be having fun.

@OhMyCrump

I used to be a really into Christmas person, but actually the older i get the less I like it! So much pressure (which i ignore but still feel iyswim!) and the earlier it starts now, its all hype hype hype which actually takes away what's supposed to be nice about it. To me it should be Christmas for about 2 weeks in December. Then I'd probably still love it.

Same!!

It's very excluding to single people who don't have a multi-generational family to go home too. All those Dickensian adverts (and their modern counterparts) mean nothing to me; it's as if we're deliberately ignored.

I hate it. It throws everything into stark relief, I am single with hardly any family and never feel my loneliness more keenly than at Christmas

My dad died quite suddenly on Xmas Eve 2 years ago but it doesn't really make me like Christmas any less. I do like it but hate all the 'its beginning to look alot like Christmas' in Oct/Nov when it really isn't. I like it more now the kids are older as they're not so hyper and we just have a simple Christmas, just the 4 of us, eating what we want when we want. I feel no pressure from anyone else to do anything we don't want to do

I like it now but I had to work at that!

Parental neglect and abandonment, so growing up without the usual family situation plus I'm autistic so hated the focus and not knowing how to act. It was easier not to 'do' Christmas so I always just worked through it when I was late teen - early 20s.

Over the years I have managed to make myself enjoy it. When my first DC was born we made Christmas Day 'ours' so just DH, DC and I - no visits and no visitors. I think being in control is key to me being able to manage it.

I’m a single parent and get massively stressed at all the expense, organisation and pressure.

No one to share the ‘joy’ with, it just reminds me how lonely I am.

My family are all weird and none of us really speak to each other. So none of the jolly coming together for Christmas stuff other families have.

It’s just exhausting and depressing.