‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I always felt my family didn’t get it when I was a child, we gave presents and ate food but it was just another day - same tv, same walk after lunch.

I did my best for my DC as a single parent, but now they are grown up I just want to ignore the whole thing, it feels totally formulaic and forced.

Christmas is a hard time of the year for some people, in particular people who have issues and are missing loved ones.

Christmas is definitely different once the Children grow up, my twin girls are both working on Christmas Day so we will be doing Christmas on Boxing Day.

I think people need to be more mindful of others, not everyone has surplus money and need Christmas.

They have pushed the ' gimmicks ' : the Christmas Eve box, the elf on the shelf , the endless ads ( then the sale ads) the same old boring Christmas songs ! It's like Groundhog Day every year

I love Christmas but I don’t love Christmas tat and gift sets that no one wants. Toiletries. Please don’t. Too much crap-for-the-sake-of-it.

I struggle with it - definitely not a Christmas person. For me it’s:

• my mum died just before Christmas when I was 23
• my dad and brother also died young, no other siblings
• single and childless
• no other close family
• I hate over-consumption
• expected to buy for other people’s kids but nobody gets me anything back, so it’s really expensive

I always get invited somewhere but you do feel like an intruder or third wheel. When I can afford it or there isn’t a global pandemic going on, I try to go away to a country that doesn’t make a big deal about it. The best one I did was trekking to Everest Base Camp with a small group of what turned out to be kindred spirits in not enjoying Christmas. Having a non-Christmas Day in the most dramatically, jaw droppingly beautiful place on earth is one I’ll never forget.

I love the fairy lights and finding the perfect present for someone, the small mountain of cheese I buy, any mulled alcoholic drink, hearing 'Fairytale of New York' for the first time on the radio and singing along badly out of tune whilst letting all and sundry into the traffic as it makes me happy, other than that I am not really a Christmas person

It boggles my mind that anyone could struggle so much with putting themselves in another person's position that they could actually, apparently in good faith, write:

"What's not to like?!"

I love it. DP isn’t that fussed on it. Neither of us are Christians. We celebrate it in our own way, I like to invite friends who don’t have others to celebrate with and it usually ends up being just a good silly party. No decorations until December, there is no point starting too early.

I lost a parent quite young before Xmas and I was extremely grateful that I had Xmas as something to cheer me up. Life is utterly miserable enough without taking away these small pleasures. I love Xmas even without gifts. In fact it's only my materialist in laws who do passive aggressive buying who have ruined it for me.

@BudgeSquare

It boggles my mind that anyone could struggle so much with putting themselves in another person's position that they could actually, apparently in good faith, write:

"What's not to like?!"

Indeed!

I don't particularly like it.
It's all the fuss and the waste.
Good job we're all different!

I'm not a Christmas person and it seems a more inflammatory statement than 'I don't want children'.

I get fed up with people challenging me to explain why.

Some of then attempt to convince me to feel differently!

I'm no fan of it either. I've got huge issues with being given gifts (childhood trauma blah blah blah) for starters. My dad died at Christmas too. Then, there's the expense, the forced jollity, the tackiness, the waste, the queues and crowds in the shops, the Sally Army ads which always make me cry, I could go on...

I do like a nice nativity - that's what it's supposed to be about after all. I'm not a Christian but I do believe Jesus existed (although was just a normal bloke). All the consumerism and family fall-outs would have him turning in his grave.

I think Christmas has become harder over the years due to the over commercialization of it, together with the fact that it now starts straight after Halloween.

Most people are just over it by the time the day actually arrives.

I love Christmas myself, I loved it before I had kids and I love it now I have them. The key for me is creating happy memories for them rather than spoiling them with gifts.

My memories growing up were always about who we were with, not what we got. The magic was never about Santa really, but it was about family, and seeing my parents happy seeing us so happy.

Other than the reasons stated in the OP, many people struggle with the overwhelming “in your face” commercial event that Christmas has become.

Because I am single with no children. I spend the day with my elderly parents because my siblings won’t / spend the period with their kids and partners. I could go elsewhere but then my parents would be alone and the guilt would be too much.

I love my parents but spending the day with octogenarians who have the appetites of birds and will want to watch 4 hours of soaps is not fun for me.

I have no issue being single etc at any other time of the year but when every fucking advert, TV show and post on MN is about happy family gatherings, heaving tables, parties and ‘how are you hosting this year’, it gets a bit much.

Last years forced cancellation was bliss.

I am a "my kind of christmas person" but no I don't do most of the stuff. I think its got too high stress high expectation.

It goes on too long. A few days break, Christmas cards, simple presents and a slap up meal would be enough.

Loved Xmas pre DC. Not enjoyed it since having them!

Dec always v busy at work.

Extra domestic work and ‘mental load’.

Gift matters bring myriad incidents of social angst with extended family, friends, acquaintances - mine and now my DCs’ too.

School festive stuff requiring parents’ time, money and cheer.

Pressure to hide negative thoughts/feelings and to ‘make it special’ for the DC.

Christmas was never a happy time for me, my parents would scrimp and save to pay for it and the pressure of hosting and cooking in a very cramped home would always lead to them having screaming rows throughout the day itself. I always wished Christmas would go away so we could have a more even keel throughout the winter, it made everyone so unhappy.

Now it's just me & DH, we have a very simple day on a limited budget and we visit relatives after Christmas when the pressure has died down. I am always sick of the (secular) Christmas themes by the day itself because it starts way too early so the music and decorations are done to death already. I appreciate it from a Christian viewpoint now but the gifts, perfectionism and commercialism can bog right off.

Because it's way too much.

All I want is a Christmas tree with some presents under it, nice food on Christmas Day and cheese fondue on Boxing day. In the week before Christmas a movie or two and mince pies.

That's exactly what I do but sometimes I am made to feel like the Grinch. I don't want my house full with tat, countless Christmas socials, Elf on the shelve, 1st of December box, Christmas Eve box, overpriced Christmas outings, panto, matching family pyjamas and fuck knows what else commercial companies come up with.

I don't dislike Christmas, but I prefer to celebrate it fairly quietly and am very nervous if I have to host and cook for perfectionistic guests. I have co-ordination difficulties and am very nervous about people blaming me for not doing things well. I do enjoy the carols, lights, cards, presents. meeting people in small groups.

@crackofdoom

I think that the problem about Christmas in this country is that you can’t escape it, and that the day itself is so uncommunal. Everything closes, public transport stops, the streets are deserted with everyone shut in with their families. Basically, it’s lockdown with crackers 😬 So much fun if you don’t happen to like your family!

I am very thankful that where I live now the local pub- which is a mile outside the village- has open house on Christmas Day morning, so everyone walks down and has a drink and a socialise, which makes things a bit less claustrophobic.

I spent a Christmas in Switzerland once, and on Christmas Day the trains were running, and full of people going skiing up in the mountains. Now that would be a way better way to spend the day!

Yes it is uncommunal you're right! Lol at lockdown with crackers!

I spend every other Xmas day alone, and the worst bit is that there's nowt else to do!

I like having family together, but I hate the commercialisation of it all and the constant adverts for food and booze, so you are expected to gorge yourself silly.

The whole meaning as a Christian festival has been lost and it's just become an excuse to eat and drink loads and waste money on things most people don't need or want.

The hype starts far too early. By the start of December, I'm looking forward to it ending!

Hate Christmas songs
Hate Christmas adverts

I also suffer from S.A.D. so winter is generally hard for me.

I do like pretty lights,and wish we could have them throughout winter.