‘I’m not a Christmas person’

[Theanswerisblowinginthewind]

I keep hearing this a lot recently.

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Completely understand that it’s difficult for some people at this time of year with loved ones having passed etc. But if it’s not something understandable like that, why don’t you like Christmas?

I love it more now I have a Dd, but even before that I loved the lights, tree, presents, food, going out etc-what’s not to love?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love the buzz of Christmas day but can't be arsed with the 2 month build up, people endlessly shoving it down your throat. So much pressure to buy this, get involved with that etc etc.

Tbh though it's just another day for us. My teen is Autistic and finds it all a bit overwhelming

I was never a big Christmas fan, but loved Christmas last year! It was just me and DH, so very little pressure. Nice breakfast, went for a walk in the snow, had Christmas dinner (around 7pm) and then went for another evening walk in the snow. Of course we missed our families who we couldn't see because of covid, but equally, i really valued how stress-free the whole thing was.

I do like Christmas, but I hate all the Christmas adverts with Mum, Dad and the perfect two kids showing what is supposed to be 'normal.' I also lost my dad as a kid in January so Christmas reminds me of the last one we spent together. I also have a December birthday which just gets swallowed up with everything else.

I like it more now I have DS but there was a period of time when I was single that I hated it.

Even before my family died I always felt that people who go overboard about Christmas are somehow lacking in their lives. Make every day count. Not retailmas, that's just a marketing con

Over commercialised nonsense. I'm not religious, so no significance, hate all the "magic of Christmas" talk, especially where kids are concerned.
Find it all a bit underwhelming.

Easter is so much more enjoyable - the days are getting longer and warmer, holidays are starting, and if you're Christian there's the other aspects of observing like Ash Wednesday, Lent and Easter Sunday which are about self-sacrifice and rebirth. Although there's a few chocolate eggs and bunnies around, it's not been commercialised in the same way and Easter Sunday is a lovely day of breaking the fast with nearest and dearest without the pressure of gifting and shopping.

I enjoy being with friends and family, cooking up an epic lunch and sinking some lovely wine. I simply can't stand the whole 10 week consumerist wankfest twee jamboree lead in to Christmas day. I am gobsmacked at how much people spend on crap, half of it will be forgotten about within a week and in landfill a year later.

@LeniLemon

For me, Xmas is for kids. Can't ser myself celebrating it once that's over.

But your kids are always your kids right? Mines 24, she will come home to a sparkly tree, gifts, a roaring fire, yummy food, champagne, Xmas songs and treats. She might be an adult, but she’s always going to be my kid.

I get why some folks don’t enjoy it, but for me, as long as there is a breath in my body she’s my kid and I’ll spoil her at some point over thr xmas period.

For me its a lot of work for little reward.
It consumes my mind from mid oct to 27th dec and i find it invasive. Its full of pressure and expectation. Last year was better as it was so simple. I hate the forced cheerfulness and it makes me feel depressed. I am actually really happy and love my life! When its not Christmas.

If you don't enjoy it its relentless. A month of not being able to watch tv, listen to the radio etc without constant reminders. Even at work people decorate and wear sodding Christmas jumpers and you just cant escape it.

I fake it for the DC. But cant wait till they are old enough for me to stop putting a tree up etc so at least my own home is a break from it all and safe retreat.

My mother is not a Christmas person and I have been very aware of this from a young age. It is so tedious to listen to year after year and when she dies it's something about her I will not miss at all. I'm sure it will be a relief not to have to face the Christmas season without her gloominess/moaning in the run-up.

Having said that - I fully agree that we generally make too much of Christmas in the UK. It is a couple of days holiday, that's all, if we're not religious. I can't stand the commercialism of it all, the endless TV ads, the over-spending, the extra rubbish going into landfill.

But I do my best to ignore all that and I thoroughly enjoy the lights, decorations, festivities, cards, extra socialising, mince pies with the neighbours, carols on the TV and radio, nice food and drink that go with Christmas. So I think I AM a Christmas person, just with a few caveats. I never have and never will moan about it infront of my children.

I'm fussy and don't like roast dinners.

I like my own company best and this is frowned upon at Christmas.

Endless discussions about the plans for seeing family. We don't even celebrate Christmas, why are we forcing ourselves into two specific days like that?

There are a lot of insensitive tropes about the season which assume all will be well in families across the land, which can't possibly be true.

Apparently everything is ok at Christmas. Homeless people get a meal and a bed, what about the rest of the year?

I don't need more stuff bought for me, most of which is a waste of plastic and money. The amount of waste at Christmas is horrible.

It comes round so fast, if it was like the World Cup I'd get more excited.

What I do like: party wear (even if I'm not going to a party) and the lights and decorations. Even a strip lit Chinese takeaway looks better with some tinsel. And the cheese. All the cheese.

Unless you are

1 religious (am not)
2 believe in Santa (nope)

then it's pointless.

Have your friends and family over on any other 364 days.

Buy your family and friends gifts when you want to, not on Jesus' birthday.

DH and I do not buy for each other. We would buy gifts for each other throughout the year or buy what we want for ourselves at any time.

I try to discourage my DCs (adults) from buying me anything at all as a) I can afford to buy myself most things I'd like and b) they need their money more than I need a gift.

I’ve worked in retail for too long and sadly Christmas usually starts in July/August. You’re pretty fed up of it by the time the real thing rolls around!

It’s also a massive moneymaker nowadays… too many people seem to think it’s just about presents and decorations.

I'm a Christian who's quite meh on Christmas for a couple of reasons: dysfuncitonal family, and while I am not against presents at all necessarily (I appreciate being given useful things at least and like to give people I love nice things) I feel like it's so divorced from its religious context, apart from church services. I much prefer Easter where the secular stuff mainly extends to chocolate and I can be left to go and think intensely about Jesus over a long weekend and several services in peace!

It's a pagan festival anyway , just hi jacked by religion!
That bit is a travesty.
As if Christmas isn't bad enough a few days later and it's the hell of New Years ..
( whole other thread )

I was a Christmas person until my aunty died on Christmas Day and a few years later my dad took his own life at Christmas. I miss being a Christmas person but the grief has engulfed me.

@ThankYouStavros

I was a Christmas person until my aunty died on Christmas Day and a few years later my dad took his own life at Christmas. I miss being a Christmas person but the grief has engulfed me.

that's so sad.

sorry :(

@Annasgirl

Wow, sometimes I wonder at people who cannot imagine that life is different for other people 🤔. But getting back to your question, a quick think brings up

1. Childhood neglect
2. Parental death in childhood
3. Alcoholic parent(s)
4. Not being a Christian
5. Trauma via a church run institution or due to a priest / nun
6. Reaching adulthood and seeing clearly that Christmas (the Hollywood / Victorian England Romantic version) is just one great swindle against women, who do all of the work - for what? Why would you willingly spend the months of November and December crazily shopping for 1 hour of present giving?

I’m sure someone will be along with more suggestions later.

All of these except I am a Christian - I do love the midnight service when Christ's light comes into the world

Family "discord" at a time when everybody else's household seemed to be jolly and happy was dreadful - the (physical) fighting, weeping children, dog hiding behind the settee in sheer terror, and me and the other kids with her.

Even now there are so many memories attached that I dread it- and that is not an exaggeration. I DREAD it.

Hate the commercial clap trap - I do believe so love the church side but I’m not really a frequent church goer. I now have a 2 year old so effort for him and Christmas dinner is great .

However presents - hmmm very hit and miss and expensive as well as not being appreciated . However happy to put tree up Christmas Eve as not overly bothered plus the cat pulls it down

If you’re not a Christmas person, why?

Because it is a crass pageant of commercial tat.

I don't watch television or listen to commercial radio, so I can avoid most of it except when I go to the supermnarket, when the piles of glittery junk are unavoidable and appalling remakes of Christmas songs that weren't even very good first time around assault my ears.

I have my own December rituals, and I'm increasingly receptive to the religious aspects of Christmas, but the endless streams of tacky garbage make me sick.

This is going to sound terrible but I like Christmas but that’s only because we have plenty of money and no children and I have two weeks off so I can basically do what I want in that time.

I think Christmas adverts and songs and decorations in November are ridiculous though and purposefully go out of my way to avoid them. I think a small build up from December 1st (an advent calendar and some twinkly lights) are quite exciting, and then a tree up from about 17th December, and then take it all down after the 12th night is how it should be done. I cannot abide people who put decorations up in November and tear them down on Boxing Day. Joyless fuckers.

I like the fancy food and I like Christmas lights. I enjoy doing the tree because the kids love it. And stockings are fun.

But I don’t like the big presents, having to send cards or presents to various family members who don’t need anything and won’t appreciate it anyway, the awful cheesy music, the pressure to have a Christmassy time on Christmas Day. Luckily my family is so dysfunctional I’ve long since opted out of having to travel to see anyone, and get to stay at home with my kids. But I know a lot people suffer a huge amount of pressure and stress over expectations about that and have a miserable time.

For me the perfect Christmas would be just a few days, we’d have nice food and stockings and some lights, and that would be it.

If I was on my own I’d happily spend the day in my pjs eating whatever I like, or do volunteering if needed.

I'm not because

My dad died 7 days before Christmas

Then years later my mum died 2 days after Christmas

So not a happy time for me

@the80sweregreat

It's a pagan festival anyway , just hi jacked by religion! That bit is a travesty. As if Christmas isn't bad enough a few days later and it's the hell of New Years .. ( whole other thread )

Well not really. That’s a myth, The pagan festival was celebrating solstice and was before Christ was born, it just changed due to the timing of Christs birth. It is not a solstice celebration and really isn’t the same thing as the pagan solstice celebration

I’m surprised anyone still thinks it is.

My friend is like this! She absolutely hates it, even MORE so now she's got a child. She says it's a while lot of faff for a glorified roast and she can't be doing with the pointless spending on stuff people don't really need and all the fakeness.
She can't wait for her son to not believe in Santa any more so it's one less pretence she has to keep up! It's quite funny really how much she absolutely hates it for no good reason, we always have a bit of a laugh about it as I'm the total opposite.