We can't mention positives of Breastfeeding for fear of offending

[Silverclasp]

Recently there was an interesting thread about a husband not wanting his wife to Breastfeed (he wanted to give formula) posters were highlighting the positives of Breastfeeding (since this was the topic) but there was a response essentially saying that by pointing out the benefits that we are shaming non bf mothers.
It got me thinking that I actively don't speak about bf for this very reason, I feel like if the person I'm talking to doesn't bf it can be seen as "shaming" like I never post anything pro Breastfeeding on SM in case I offend someone. It's kind of ridiculous.
Interested in both sides of the argument.

So say I reposted an article on SM which stated that studies have indicated that breastfed babies have a larger thymus gland than formula fed babies and more tcells as a result. Would this be unreasonable and cause offence to non bf mothers?

This has been done to death now. Just feed your babies the way you want to it really makes zero difference it's really annoying

[quote Silverclasp]@Chichichiwawa because given the benefits to both mothers and baby I think that ppl are entitled to make informed decisions. They need the information to be informed.[/quote]
The problem is that you are equating a person not making the same decision as you with them being ill informed. The same happens with voting and the 'anyone who voted differently to me is ill informed and did so due to a bias in the mainstream media' brigade. It couldn't possibly be that people can have the same information and having thought about it, then come to different conclusions.

@lawnotorder

I honestly doubt that for most of the things you can't do in life, there are health practitioners and peers following you around for months telling you you're a failure for not doing them.

No one should call you a failure. I would have put in a complaint about any staff that did that.

You don't have to use those exact words to 'say' it.

@WhyMeLord no I was equating people not being informed with people not being informed. That particular study I wasn't aware of, and lots of ppl on this post also said they didn't know about it even those who were seasoned breastfeeders.
I'm not saying that even with all the information ppl would choose any different (those that have a choice) I just mean that they are entitled to have all the information before making their decision.

Love a smug AF breast feeder.

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee well I would have complained about someone who implied it.

Interesting isn't it, even the language we use around breastfeeding seems to be shaped not to upset formula feeding mothers. We talk about the health benefits of breast feeding rather than the negative health consequences to the baby and mother of giving formula. We always say, for example, breast fed babies suffer fewer ear infections, never, formula fed babies suffer more ear infections.

@Kendodd i even did this in my OP I said that the study was "breastfed babies have a larger thymus gland than formula fed babies" but actually the study was "decreased thymus size in formula fed babies".

@EsmeSusanOgg

Breastfeeding was really difficult for me, but after a difficult pregnancy I really wanted to do it. Especially after people kept telling me to quit. So I'm proud of it as an achievement I had. But I felt super uncomfortable saying I was proud of myself, because people would then accuse me of shaming people who couldn't breastfeed. Or who decided to stop when I didn't. Which is not true. It feels like, especially as a woman, you aren't allowed to be proud of your own achievements/ to see something as a personal achievement without being told you should consider the feelings of everybody else and their brother!

This 🙌 it is hard to get started and can be painful just as your body gets used to being sucked 24-7. And here I think is the issue, most people don't have the mental resilience to breastfeed. To avoid putting people off the NHS/ midwives don't really cover the issues there can be enough and formula is waiting to take over.

I'm very proud of breastfeeding and it was hard to start both times, and hard times being the only one that can feed them, but it's worth it to me.

I get annoyed at the breast is best army when it totally ignores that women have reasons for using formula, health and otherwise. It comes on very hot and heavy on Mumsnet, like a swarm of bees. It’s anxiety inducing.
Formula feed, breast feed, what ever. As long as your baby is fed, that’s best.
So no, OP, to provide debate or risk pissing people off, just don’t bother posting. It’s a very emotive topic, so just leave it.

@Kendodd

Interesting isn't it, even the language we use around breastfeeding seems to be shaped not to upset formula feeding mothers. We talk about the health benefits of breast feeding rather than the negative health consequences to the baby and mother of giving formula. We always say, for example, breast fed babies suffer fewer ear infections, never, formula fed babies suffer more ear infections.

This was actually a deliberate strategy by the formula companies - ie inverting the language to mask the fact that breastfeeding (ie the biological norm) is the default.

The woeful lack of funding and support for all new mothers in this country is a disgrace, and low breastfeeding rates are just one symptom of it.

This was actually a deliberate strategy by the formula companies - ie inverting the language to mask the fact that breastfeeding (ie the biological norm) is the default

How come they got to shape the language then?

@Namechangetimes100 i think glass bottles do 100% mitigate it- its to do with the boiling water hitting the plastic realising a huge amount in one go.

I agree my first post sounded unkind and i felt bad about that and tried to clarify in my second post - the issue isnt personal choice, it's the lack of accessible information, support and societal support that should be available to make an informed choice. Its as unhelpful to rush to reassure someone with a feeding crisis that formula is an equivalent choice to breastfeeding but that person should at the very least have easy access to support and resources to make a choice that suits her and if that choice is formula thwn in no way is it helpful for people to discuss it after the fact. Its not helpful or kind to tell a mum who is already formula feeding that breast is best.

@Silverclasp
I wonder if you had started a thread saying formula fed babies suffer poorer health, if it would have been deleted because it upset to many people?

I had to mix feed because of supply issues. We were lucky enough to be able to pay for a lactation consultant to help me carry on.

For the NHS to promote breastfeeding while you're pregnant and then provide really crap support post natal is cruel.

@EsmeSusanOgg

Breastfeeding was really difficult for me, but after a difficult pregnancy I really wanted to do it. Especially after people kept telling me to quit. So I'm proud of it as an achievement I had. But I felt super uncomfortable saying I was proud of myself, because people would then accuse me of shaming people who couldn't breastfeed. Or who decided to stop when I didn't. Which is not true. It feels like, especially as a woman, you aren't allowed to be proud of your own achievements/ to see something as a personal achievement without being told you should consider the feelings of everybody else and their brother!

Why would you tell people you felt proud of yourself though? Seems an odd thing to bring up in conversation.

@Kendodd I'm surprised this one hasn't been deleted considering how outraged some people have been at the mere suggestion that the biologically normal way for humans to feed their baby has benefits to it.

And here I think is the issue, most people don't have the mental resilience to breastfeed

Wow.

I made myself ill trying desperately to breastfeed both my children. I knew the benefits. I haven't forgiven myself 8 years later. I don't even know what t-cells are but trust me, I knew 'breast is best' thanks.

@Ginger1982 if you were proud of something you wouldn't mention it to anyone? Job promotion, Ran a marathon, Painted a picture etc
Some people like to share when they have achieved something they are proud of.

@Kendodd

This was actually a deliberate strategy by the formula companies - ie inverting the language to mask the fact that breastfeeding (ie the biological norm) is the default

How come they got to shape the language then?

Money. There's no money (or was no money) in breastfeeding - it was a skill passed down and supported by family and friends.

Formula companies came to mother and baby classes, antenatal classes, maternity wards. Women sales people in Dr style white coats, extolling the benefits of formula. Handing out free tubs, free bottles - just enough to allow mother's milk to dry up. Women were shamed out of breastfeeding. Couldn't they afford to give baby the best? Were they too poor? Didn't baby deserve everything science had to offer? It came at a time when there lots of amazing and genuinely revolutionary scientific breakthroughs (the pill, TB, diphtheria and polio vaccinations, emergency medicine etc) and the rode on the tailcoats of science being very positively perceived.

The history of formula companies marketing strategies is one of the best marketing ploys ever.

Why would you tell people you felt proud of yourself though? Seems an odd thing to bring up in conversation

Is it odd to be proud of something & share it. Ive seen people proud at passing their driving test, getting a degree or qualification, losing weight, running a race, proud about kids achievements, getting a new job, so many different things.

This thread sucks. These threads always suck. Ironically.
And it proves how women are often women’s own worst enemy sometimes. Certain people are banging on about ‘support’, while actively seeking to divide women and mothers into BF vs FF.

IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER. LEAVE OTHER PEOPLE’S TITS ALONE.

And I'm not anti formula. But I am massively pro informed decision making.

@lawnotorder yes to all of this!