Small penis... what to say?

[sorryofficer]

It's not me honest! I've name changed as I was on a local board... cancel the cheque etc

A friend has started seeing someone. With she says an average size penis. But the guy has hang ups. And is always searching for compliments. She's like what do I say?

She says he satisfies her. It's all great. It's the best sex. And he replies so it's small then?

But she doesn't want to say it's the biggest she's ever seen etc. It isn't.

The worst thing is she says it's great sex. But he gets annoyed when she doesn't say the right thing and she doesn't know what to say.

It is like throwing a banana up Oxford Street....

There seems to be two types of men (I've met them both)

Ones who want you to tell you it's small because they have a kink (fine, just be upfront about it!)

Ones who are just obsessed with it being small and go on and on and on about it. They don't ever shut up so get rid

I couldn't deal with this. The whinging would be far more of a turn off to me than the small penis itself (if indeed it was a small penis).

Surely he can just measure it and compare against whatever Google says the average UK size is?

Maybe he gets off on being told he has a useless maggot of a dick and her last man was hung like a horse, so hes prompting her to go down that line. Its a thing.

But his yapping on about size would make me dump him anyway. Passion killer. Its not the size of the boat its the motion on the ocean.

On the other hand if she wants to see if he has a fantasy he wants to indulge she could put on her stern derisory voice and go for it I guess...

Your friend could watch Naked Attraction with him and make shocked noises over the big boys and mmm noises over the littlies.

Small penis... what to say?

My friend would say, "Put it on the mantlepiece. I'll smoke it later."

He's ridiculous. He knows full well how big he is and how he compares with other men, they all do. If its average he knows that so she might as well tell him that. She's already said all the right things.

'It's fine.' (as in ok.)

Do people really have conversations about the size of the penis? Crikey

@StoneofDestiny I had a guy who went 'Look at how big it is! Look at how big it is!' While wanking himself. It wasn't particularly big.

And my latest ex (thankfully a while ago now) had a real complex about his impotent micropenis. He said 'a small cock is good for anal' as if that was supposed to impress me.

Fun answer: “Bop it, twist it, pull it, flick it!” Then run away.

This has just about ended me

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I do t know why he is being so silly. Women also have large and small vaginas its not just a man hang up.

Not quite the same thing. A small penis is more like having a disproportionately fat arse or really chunky legs. Not quite the same but best I can think of.

It sounds like he WANTS her to say it is small . Some guys like to be humiliated.

I once dated a guy with one hell of a grower. Until then I thought it was a bit of an urban myth/joke.

It was pretty average when flaccid but then grew to just above average length and ridiculously thick. I once measured it and it was about six inches in length and six inches girth (measured around, not diameter obviously).

Well, everydays a school day 😂

I’d ditch him. He sounds petty and insecure. Men like that are no good to be in relationships with.

@ItsSnotFair Teachable moments all round.

[quote AcrossthePond55]Tell her to sing him this song:

[/quote] Or...

😂😂😂

@Sparklfairy

Fun answer: “Bop it, twist it, pull it, flick it!” Then run away.

This has just about ended me

Ellie56 post has done it for me

Ellie56
Small penis... what to say?
My friend would say, "Put it on the mantlepiece. I'll smoke it later."

I'm done. No more mumsnet for me tonight

He doesn’t get to be a dick on account of his small dick.

‘Do you WANT me to tell you it’s small?’

Would defo put me off, but still I can’t help feeling that a woman insecure about her weight would’ve got a much more sympathetic response.

"He’s probably at some point had a girl tell him he has a small dick so has a chip on his shoulder about it has a complex about it in exactly the same way that women think about their breasts or genitalia".

Have fixed your typo for you.

It sounds as if he has a need to be humiliated.
It would be mean not to oblige.
Some blokes enjoy that kinda thing.