So I had planned to go and meet a friend for half a day. I do something like this 1-2 times a year so not exactly a lot. DH, his sister and mum decided to take the kids for a swim whilst I'd be away. Win win. Except that 11yo DD got unwell with temp and a cough. Covid pcr plus lateral flow negative so no problem with that but obviously not fit to go swimming. I offered to cancel my plans so rest of the kids could still go swimming with cousins. DH said I should be able to go as my plans had been made weeks ago unlike the last minute swimming plan. He said he'd sort it. So off I went.
I then came back 6 hours later to hear that DH, his mum and sister, 2 DS.s and their cousin had gone swimming and had left the 11 yo DD alone at grandparents house whilst they were out. Apparently she had felt much better once they got to grandparents house. She had asked to go swimming with the rest of them and when told no had suggested she'd stay behind on her own. She had said she'd felt bad that the rest of them were missing out because of her and told them she'd be fine. She said she had watched a film and only got scared once when the doorbell rang. She had hidden behind the sofa and had thought someone had come to kidnap her. She had been scared and tried calling granddad who had gone for a bike ride (bike ride more important than DD). Granddad didn't pick up but later texted to reassure her that the caller was a nice neighbour. She said after that she was fine again.
The swimming pool is an hour away. I was an hour and a half away. Granddad was miles away on his bike. Dd had only been left with mine and DH.s numbers. I was not told she was left alone. If something would have happened it would have taken us an hour to get back.
AIBU to be fuming?!!! DH is upset because I calmly stated that I wouldn't have gone to meet a friend had I known that poorly DD was going to be left alone. He thinks it's extremely hurtful for me to question his judgement around this. I can't believe I'm being made out to be the bad guy for saying I think he made a bad decision and I think leaving dd alone for the first time should have been a joint decision.