Mine are 12 and 9 and honestly, I have found it so, so much easier than when they were babies and toddlers.
Yes, there are different challenges, yes, navigating tween/teenager years hasn’t/isn’t going to be easy, but, for me, it has (so far) been easier.
I think the real turning point came when my youngest was maybe 6 ish, but it had been getting easier ish before then.
The main thing for me was getting sleep back. Having kids who reliably sleep all night and also are old enough now to get up at the weekends and make themselves breakfast/play/watch tv etc makes a huge difference. Normally we are up anyway, but knowing that they can psychologically makes it easier. Also, being able to pop upstairs and read a book for an hour at the weekend while they entertain themselves is a lifesaver.
That said, my eldest can be very tricky with her moods/hormones/expectations etc so it’s not all a joy!
But that bone crushing tiredness and feeling of it all being relentless has definitely gone. Being able to jump in the car with no planning or taking a massive bag. No nappies. Buggies. Bottles. All that mental load I found tough.
It’s been replaced though, by ENDLESS school/sport/social admin, as well as working more now they’re older, and general life. I do sometimes feel I’m juggling a lot, but it does, for me, seem less stressful than when they were little.
We always wanted more than two, and if we’re going to do it, we need to get on with it fairly soon as I’m only a few years off 40. Honestly, as much as I’d love to, I’m not sure we will now. I don’t know if our marriage could take going back to the arguments about who was more tired, who would take time off work if the kids were sick etc.