At what age does parenting become easier?

[Lois345]

At what age does parenting become easier? If your answer is never please say it quietly to yourself or just lie in your comment

I struggle with 3 too. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old (who seems to be attached to me permanently). My 6 year old is fab though, we have great conversations, have lots of fun and I'm really enjoying his age. I'm looking forward to a few years time when they are both past this Preschool age.

I dosent get easier the issues just change as they grow older. I used to worry about the sleep, as teenagers I worry about who they are out with and what time they get home. It's just as hard but different. I get its not what you want to hear but thats parenthood.

@gogohm Great! so I only have 17 years to go...

Once at least one child can start walking themselves to and from places locally and can cook their own dinner (when 11 for oldest) things got much easier; also got possible to leave kids at home for short errands, or indeed send them out on errands from age 9 or so.

3 was bloody awful.

4 was lovely hence DS2 - there’s a 5 year gap…

Err mine are now 24 and 21. It has not got any easier. The challenges have changed, but are still growing and maturing.

@Brainwave89

Err mine are now 24 and 21. It has not got any easier. The challenges have changed, but are still growing and maturing.

100% this. as mum to teens I wish all I had to worry about was a kid not sleeping 😂

I look back at my 3 boys being babies / toddlers / children with huge fondness.

The 14-18 year bit has without a doubt been the absolute worst.

Definitely gets easier from about 4. Of course they still have problems, and some of those problems are more complicated, but it's not quite so relentless. Sibling relationships do complicate matters a bit if that's a factor!

I think it depends on the child. My eldest was really easy from about 3 til 15. 17-19 was hideous. His brother was a pain at 4 but then lovely and is now starting to get irritatingly teenage.

My SD has never been easy, and is getting harder at 8 rather than easier. Maybe she’ll be an easy teenager or something. Her brother was a nightmare til he was 4 but is getting much easier now.

They’re all different.

It definitely does get easier, ds is 9 and by about 7 we reached the stage where he'd disappear and do his own thing in the house for longish periods of time. So much less intense. It also becomes easier when you can say "off you go then" in places like soft-play, parties, parks etc as that gives breathing space. So around 5?
I honestly think the primary school years are nice and you get a lot back from your kids...... dreading the teens though!

I found it easier once mine went to full time nursery and school and I went to uni and work. Only dealing with them evenings and weekends is much nicer regardless of age . Three year olds are pretty awful though, I have had little to no bother from mine for quite some time who are almost 7 and just turned 10.

I felt it became easier kind of between the ages of 9 and 12/13

During those years felt I had a bit of respite and straightforwardness.

After that and when the teenage years start that was and still is right now in some ways a difficult patch so I get what people say about it getting easier when they are in their twenties.

Just to do with how their brains work.

@Softwonder

I look back at my 3 boys being babies / toddlers / children with huge fondness.

The 14-18 year bit has without a doubt been the absolute worst.

I'm pretty certain I'll look back on my children being toddlers with fondness. I already look back nostalgically at the baby stage, even though it was bloody awful at the time. It's quite easy to look back fondly at something you never have to do again!

I have a friend who had teens and babies at the same time (which she admits is madness!) and she got so cross with her older children's friends' parents saying 'ah, bet you get more sleepness nights from the teens!'. She very much did not feel that was the case!

Normally I'd say 7 and up gets a little easier, but my 7yo has been tantrumming non stop since 11am, so...

Mine are 17, 12 and 8. Most accurate summary I can give is that it gets physically easier and emotionally harder.

There is a definite ‘gentler’ period (obviously this is child dependent, but has been my experience with all 3) from 7 to about 12. I think it’s called “middle childhood” - where you’re out of the worst of the grind of early years parenting and haven’t yet hit the teenage traumas.

But I don’t think any parent ever stops worrying about their DC or wondering whether they’re doing the right thing in their parenting of them.

It gets easier physically by junior school age, so 6/7. I remember the worst stage as about 18mths/2, when sleep was still very much broken, they got up at some ridiculous time in the morning and were too young to get themselves some juice and cereal. And that but when they're cruising everywhere and you go out and have to do that backbreaking walk to support them on their legs for HOURS! Those days were awful.

Now I think I spend a lot more time worrying about them. They're tweens. So much of the outside world that I can't control can hurt them now and I spend most of my time worrying about that, from actual life threatening dangers to them having their feelings hurt.

But would add to the above that at least I don't have to get up at 4.30am each day to worry about them, so it's better overall.

I think part of it depends on the child to be honest.. I have a 3.5 year old DS and 5.5 DD. In a lot of ways my DS is easier than my DD! He's calmer, more laid back, sleeps much better, better at playing independently.

But generally I think when they can do more for themselves, it becomes physically less draining.

IIRC there is a nice stage between 7-11 but then the hormones hit and it all goes a bit wrong again.

My dses are 19 and 17 and it’s different kind of tough but still has its challenges.

I sort of miss when they were little and you were their world🥰

My DD is 7 and she's a dream. She was an awful baby, a lovely toddler, then she developed an attitude at 3... She still has an attitude and is too grown up for her own good (I dread the teenage years!) but generally she's great. Independent, well behaved and a delight to be around. She's cheeky and backchatty but never been "naughty" in her life.

DS on the other hand... He's 3 and I'm finding him extremely difficult right now. He was a wonderful baby, then started moving and it all went to shit. Now he's a permanent ticking time bomb of rage, and a clingy, jealous monster. Everything sets him off, nothing is ever right, and he just shouts all the time unless we're all doing everything his way 100% of the time. Preschool is my salvation.

I feel you on the threenager. IME they get better, but that could just be DD.

For me, each year became easier and easier after 3. (10 now)

Whispering it quietly then,shush, never. My oldest is 51 and I still support the health, relationship social whatever issues. I also have 2 mentally ill DSs on long-term benefits,one in carer for

I think 5 is a watershed year. They're fully verbal, can play independently without being constantly watched and they're interested in the world. We had some great holidays from 5-12.

Now my two are 16 and 13. We still get on well, but DS (13) is annoying at times, talks nonstop and says silly things...often tells me to go away when I knock on his door! He still needs a lot of "encouragement" (nagging) to get his homework done, get dressed in the morning, etc. DD(16) is fine, very independent and focused.

So I think the early teens are challenging, but they mature alot from 15-16.

And we do get plenty of sleep, thank goodness! Teens like to sleep.