At what age does parenting become easier?

[Lois345]

At what age does parenting become easier? If your answer is never please say it quietly to yourself or just lie in your comment

… basically once they start school it lightens up in terms of getting some time to yourself, hang in there OP! Xx

Never, I now worry about my grandchildren.

I think of it a bit as like working your way up in a career. At the beginning it is constant boring and repetitive tasks but as you progress, the manual work load gets lighter but it’s more strategic decisions you can really bugger up. Less hands on work but more stressful. I think you also have to remember that whilst almost people have nightmare toddlers, some parents also have nightmare teens to deal with so it really depends on the individual kids involved.

You seem to forget that often a woman with teens not only has the challenge of teens but also aging parents (more than a woman aged 35 for example), plus the joys of fading hormones and menopause.

But that's a different question entirely, isn't it? Is life easier for a random woman aged 35 with a 1 and a 3 yr old than it is for a random 48 year old woman with a 14 and 17 year old? Quite possibly yes, though it depends on too many factors to count. But that's not the same question as whether the 3 and 1 year old, in and of themselves, are harder work than the 14 and 17 year old. And on that front it seems fair to note that no one ever, ever looks at a menopausal 48 year dealing with elderly parents and says 'god, this would all be much easier for her if her kids were toddlers right now'.

I'd say infant and junior school age is easier than baby and toddler stage and much easier than parenting a teen! I think each stage just has different issues to deal with. I found the teenage years the most stressful. Hopefully OP you're moving into the slightly easier phase soon. Good luck xx

Eeugh 3 is the worst! Like

Mine are 9 and 5 and it just gets harder in my opinion! Bed times are harder with the 9 year old. All they do is argue. They drive me up the wall

Hormones have started kicking in with the eldest which is absolutely delightful and I can just see it getting worse.

I've had a great day today

I found parenting a lot easier at 4. You just can’t reason with a 2 year old!

I think they are quite easy between 1&2. There's a bit of a dip between 2 & 3. Then from 3 onwards they improve. From 4 onwards there are still some annoying things but they are quite useful little humans, they can do their own shoes and clothes, toileting is usually no longer an issue, sleep is usually sorted, they have quite good chat, can be funny, can play games. Mine can ride a bike etc which makes outings fun.

I think of it a bit as like working your way up in a career. At the beginning it is constant boring and repetitive tasks but as you progress, the manual work load gets lighter but it’s more strategic decisions you can really bugger up.

Now this, this is true!!

My mum always told me you worry when you become a parent though it's different worries for each stage. I have a 10 year old and she's a very easy child but my god I worry about everything to do with her. I'm now in the high school/ puberty stage of worry.

I love them from 2+

Once they can start to communicate with me and need me less, I like it.

I'll take a toddler tantrum over a cluster feeding newborn any day of the week!

I'd say 7-12 yo were fairly easy. Then the rollercoaster starts again when they go to secondary school and want more independence. Social media, partners, sex, drugs, staying out late, alcohol- most of these have to be navigated by our teens, hopefully not too early. All we can do is hope we have instilled decent morals in them.

4 to 7 were easier with the lads, 7-9 horrible (testosterone surge) then easier for a few years. Teen years with the lads easier with me, awful between lads and DH. Mental health crises in late teens were appalling.

DD was a forceful personality from the get go. Pretty much straightforward from age 2, as long as you're OK with an iron-willed child. Got hard around age 11-14, and still hard with me at 16 but a doddle with her dad (hurray hormones! hers are menstrual, mine peri menopausal).

Much harder in the teen year crises because they can't be easily resolved. But far less physically tiring.

3 was definitely the worst age for me so far. He has just turned 4 and is already much more pleasant and easy to be around. It’s still hard at times but not quite as bad.

I have two teenagers and while I still worry about them especially my eldest with GCSEs looming it's a lot easier than when they were younger. They can sometimes behave like normal human beings noww. My eldest is brilliant company with a wicked sense of humour which helps.
My youngest (toddler) is really hard work. He's in to everything he shouldn't be and wants constant cuddles and will only play with his toys if you play with him. Lovely little boy but hard work.

Mine are just 5 and almost 8 and it's not bad, even though the youngest is a bad sleeper (still) and quite highly strung. They can go to the bathroom/get a drink or yoghurt/amuse themselves for a bit. Being able to read fluently has been a big milestone for the oldest and means they can figure more stuff out. However oldest also has ASD so am predicting a turbulent early adolescence.

@stayathomer

At 4 with my maddest I was thinking why isn't he easier, he calmed down by 6 and now at 12 is so quiet that there's times he starts messing about and I'm relieved he's still there!!! All ages have huge height and soul destroying lows but however you're doing you're doing better than you think and there'll be a day you suddenly don't feel so wrecked and everything is just much easier!!!

I really hope this will be my 5 year old. He really is driving me nuts just now, works on every button possible.

He was a terrible toddler too. We were doing good and then we had isolation - that has thrown his sync out so much.

My 13y had his moments, but is such an easy chitin comparison.

New levels , new devils.
Each and every stage has its own obstacles, but as a single widowed parent of two older male teenagers , what l have learnt is you need a good sense of humour as well as nerves of steel.

My eldest is nearly 16. I've found all the stages have pros and cons, they are just different. You do get a degree of freedom back as they get older however but I miss sticky kisses and skinny arms around my neck.

Have a 2 year old. Found it's got easier or at least we're dealing with it a lot better? The real personality coming out and the fact he can communicate makes it much more fun. I also find kid stuff generally more enjoyable at this age. He isn't a big one for tantrums though. I think it ebs and flows throughout life. It's important to remember that, dont have too high expectations and try to slow your pace and enjoy the bits you do.

@nc198567

I love them from 2+

Once they can start to communicate with me and need me less, I like it.

I'll take a toddler tantrum over a cluster feeding newborn any day of the week!

This is me. I think for me it's the anxiety with small babies. Sometimes they really do just scream.

Probably about 6 for me. She's now 8 and is a dream - very easy.

I think it's a rollercoaster.

At different times it will seem easier, others it will be harder.

Some of it depends on your temperament, your child's temperament, your life situation or external circumstances.

It also depends on what you find difficult. For some, a newborn is easy because they don't get themselves into mischief and they don't need entertaining - for others the newborn stage is draining as it's all sleepless nights, feeding and nappy changing with no smiles or giggles from the baby.

All I can say is I'll take the early years of sleep deprivation, tantrums and feeding angst, which are then replaced by friendship and reading levels worries, followed by different friendship issues, hormones and gcse worries compared to having DC with MH issues in a heartbeat.