AIBU or is DD5 weird?

[themerrywifeofwindsor]

I feel so bad even thinking this as of course I love her to bits just how she is, but I'm starting to think that DD5 is just a bit weird and socially awkward and I'm worried for her.

At the school gates this morning, she sees some girls who she's friends with, and instead of approaching and saying hello, she jumps up right in their faces and makes weird noises at them. Even at the age of 5, they make this face as if to say 'errrr....weirdo'. And she does things to get their attention, like a funny walk. It's so embarrassing!! And I don't want to be embarrassed by my DD.

I took her to one side and bent down to talk to her and gently said "sweetie, why don't you just go up and say hello instead of jumping around and making noises at people". She just carried on with what she was doing. I don't want the other kids to think she's weird and not want to play with her! I don't see anyone else acting that way at the school gates. How can I get her to understand and act in a way that's a bit more socially appropriate?

YES - YABU, this is normal 5 year old behaviour and you can't expect social graces at this age

NO - this sounds odd and I'd be embarrassed

This is pretty normal 5 year old behaviour imo. My dd spent 90% of her time 'being a cat' at that age!
She's little yet

She’s only 5 - still a baby, let her act her age. I think the things you said to her were good.

Maybe do something about it if she’s still doing it at 15.

I think you should be embarrassed for judging your 5 year old so harshly. My daughter is batman, has been for a year or so now, if she was 20 I’d be wondering, but she’s happy and healthy and likes to interact with others so we’re good. Your DD sounds perfectly normal too, she’s just being her

Seems the usual morning fodder with my 5 yo old and his little mates...

Rather than tell her not to do things that are weird, I would start trying to teach her to notice how people are reacting to her. It will take time as she is small, but it is more useful than making her feel that her behaviours are inappropriate in some absolute way.

I do think it's 'normal' but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be embarrassed.
It sounds like your dd is maybe a little immature compared to this pair but it's great she has confidence (my dc both used to hide under my coat if they saw friends outside of school).
Pretty sure she will grow out of it and start following social norms soon enough.

I think between age 5-13 kids really reach different levels of maturity at different times. My DS is quite "young" for his age and I think will be a bit socially awkward. It's a difficult one to navigate but I'm taking the approach of helping him with social integration where I can and accepting he may be a bit of an outsider (like me and his dad were and still are) and that's who he is and as long as he's happy then it doesn't matter.

All 5 year olds can have their ‘weird’ moments! Maybe there are friends who respond to her in a similar way, but she just missed the mark with these particular girls. Sounds like she could have been overwhelmed with excitement at seeing them? It takes a while for children to be able to ‘read the room’ and act accordingly. There are some adults who’ve never mastered it!

@CatherinedeBourgh

Rather than tell her not to do things that are weird, I would start trying to teach her to notice how people are reacting to her. It will take time as she is small, but it is more useful than making her feel that her behaviours are inappropriate in some absolute way.

I think this is really good advice.

The behaviour you've described wouldn't be particularly unusual as a one-off, but if it is representative of her interactions with her peers then you are quite right to be thoughtful about how you can help her develop her social skills.

I remember when my eldest (now 14) started playschool at 2/3 years old. Even at that age, children were very aware of each other's behaviours. The toddlers who were good at it grew up to be the 'popular' kids at school, and the traits are still evident now.

I feel sad that you're embarrassed by your DD

It's our job as parents to accept our DC as they are.

That doesn't mean you can't help her navigate social situations, but she's still so young.

It sounds like excitement coupled with immaturity. I do understand why you would be embarrassed, but I think it sounds like you handled it well.

What kind of noises/funny walk, can you be more specific?

my DS is turning 5 and is like this but he will say morning and shout his friends cuddles them and gets in their face. It's a bit too much sometimes but I guess that's just who they are 🤣

At 5? She should know better. Id be embarrassed too if my kid did that.

Dgs2 is 5 and he's in your face, hugs a lot too. So is dgs1 he's 7 asd.

Some good advice on here.

Does she have many boy friends?

She's 5. Get a grip.

My 7 year old has only just stopped doing this, shes still likely to do it if she's very excited to see you.

School said her social skills are immature but a lot of the children have immature social skills due to the last 2 years so not to worry too much.

I'm sure your DD will learn in time but I would do what PP suggested and try and teach her to read reactions.

I think it's pretty normal. My granddaughter is 6 and is just outgrowing her "being a horse" phase. She would whinny, neigh and snort at people and often all 3 whilst pawing the ground 🤣🤣

She's a 5 year old girl. She's not embarrassed. Embrace who she is.

My niece was a cat for a few years, she would greet everyone with a miaow, if she was in a stressful situation she would become more catlike.
She grew out of it as she became more confident.
Strangely enough her little boy is doing the same thing now at 3.

Could be perfectly normal but as the other kids are already noticing that it's different and she's not picking up on how they react I'd keep the possibility of ASD in mind. A lot of what I put down to my son just being young or a bit immature were the early signs of ASD, it can be difficult to know at this age though and my son wasn't diagnosed until nearly secondary school age.

my 8 year old sister is like this. hyper, excited to see people but I love her for it. much more preferable to her twin who doesnt even acknowledge you when you come into the room and you have to wrestle even a hello out of.

I have a weird socially awkward 6 yo so I wouldn't have even blinked at your weird 5 yo. It passes for normal here.

Marvellous Madness - Not sure if you're being sarcastic. How could anyone be embarrassed of a 5 year old. It's just normal behaviour.

My eldest daughter at that age was mad on Thomas the Tank Engine and went through a phase of making noises like a steam train and insisting on being called Thomas! A friend's little boy wanted to be known as 'my little princess'.

Let children be children.

There's a scale at 5, where they've definitely not all been "tamed" to "normal" interactions. There are definitely children who do quirky greetings in my son's (year 1) class. I guess they're exploring humour or such. My son, thinks it's hysterically funny to fall over at the moment for eg. He keeps faking falling down (badly I might add). Some of his classmates laugh some walk off (who can blame them).