AIBU or is DD5 weird?

[themerrywifeofwindsor]

I feel so bad even thinking this as of course I love her to bits just how she is, but I'm starting to think that DD5 is just a bit weird and socially awkward and I'm worried for her.

At the school gates this morning, she sees some girls who she's friends with, and instead of approaching and saying hello, she jumps up right in their faces and makes weird noises at them. Even at the age of 5, they make this face as if to say 'errrr....weirdo'. And she does things to get their attention, like a funny walk. It's so embarrassing!! And I don't want to be embarrassed by my DD.

I took her to one side and bent down to talk to her and gently said "sweetie, why don't you just go up and say hello instead of jumping around and making noises at people". She just carried on with what she was doing. I don't want the other kids to think she's weird and not want to play with her! I don't see anyone else acting that way at the school gates. How can I get her to understand and act in a way that's a bit more socially appropriate?

YES - YABU, this is normal 5 year old behaviour and you can't expect social graces at this age

NO - this sounds odd and I'd be embarrassed

Yep my 5yr old daughter does this sometimes, but so do her friends, they are little kids, they can be daft, it's great they are so free from social judgements, or should be.

My 5 year old DS and his 5 year old friend basically spend their play times being dogs or running around like lunatics. My 7 year old joins in occasionally so yeah kinda normal IMO.

I also have a 5yo dd. She might do this at home but she is absolutely aware that this is not ok to do to others. I have honestly not seen children behave like this at the school gates but it seems like posters are saying this is quite normal.

Sounds totally normal to me. My DD6 does similar, as do all her friends. They all just seem to yell at each other as a greeting. They do funny walks, pretend to be animals and all the rest too. I suppose if the kid she did it to didn't react in kind, perhaps it's no so normal for that particular kid. The advice upthread about noticing people's reactions sounds good. If I noticed my DD was the only one yelling/being silly I might talk to her about it.

It doesn't seem weird to me. You shouldn't be embarrassed by your child. She's only 5, they do make silly noises and silly faces.

Agree with a pp, no harm in gently reminding her that some children might not like it.

Calling her weird is very harsh. Like others have said, my 6 year old has only recently stopped being a dog.

5 year olds are weird OP I mean it's completley normal behaviour for a 5 year old but they are all pretty weird. It's a bit harsh to be embarrassed by it though, although there are days when I secretly wish my 5 year old DD would tone it down a little (she's a full on 24/7 weirdo but shes my funny little weirdo so I wouldnt change her for the world). They'll pick up social queues eventually, at least I haven't met any adult who walks around greeting others by smacking their hand against their head and laughing so I assume they will, in the mean time just let her be weird without the fear of societys judgement it doesn't last long.

All 5 year olds are weird. I wouldn't make a deal out of it, you could end up giving her issues.

Absolutely normal for a 5 year old. No other child will be thinking she's weird. I'd have expected other 5 year olds to join in tbh.

Fecking hell my daughter used to meow and crawl around the floor, right up until year 2 of senior school, mind she was bloody weird 🤣🤣 but her friends loved her as she was.

Turn out she had dyslexia and really struggled with reading and writing, this was her out, as the teachers let her get on with it, she was a cute kid.

It all sorted its self out and she is grown and working so didn't do her too much harm.

Don't be embarrassed, embrace her weirdness

YANBU to want DD to fit in and play well with her peers. Why not schedule more 1 on 1 or smaller group activities and playdates so she can get more used to social interactions/responding to others? Then you can also coach her more gently (ie if she does the loud noises redirect her and say 'look, your friend is playing with beads, let's do it together' or whatever).

*Also maybe she's just more energetic and hyper than those kids? Could you enroll her in sports where the hyperactive behaviour is more acceptable and she can also burn energy off?

God I hope she doesn't have additional needs. You won't want to leave the house with her

@Clymene

God I hope she doesn't have additional needs. You won't want to leave the house with her

I would imagine OP wouldn't have posted this if she did

I'd imagine she may not know yet @Fatgalslim

Many children with additional needs aren't flagged until they've been at school for some time.

Thanks everyone, a real mix of views here! Seems the jury's out as to whether DD is just a bit of a normal, but weird 5 year old, but good to see that I'm not the only one who'd be embarrassed by it - I DO feel terrible about that and of course I don't want to give her issues which is why I'm asking for advice. Will definitely talk (gently) to her about others' reactions.

It has crossed my mind that she could be on the spectrum - DH's family are all a bit.....quirky

I would say something like "don't do that, people don't like it when you shout and jump in thir face"

My DD does this too, and I do get a bit cringe about it BUT I never let on to her. I so keenly remember being that weird kid and my Mum trying to get me to stop, and I became so embarrassed about my behaviours that it left a real impact on me. I still mentally flagellate myself when I say something a bit 'weird' without thinking and it has a big impact on my self esteem, and having never felt I could be good enough for my Mum.

I'd never let my daughter feel that.

If she's being inappropriately loud in a library doing her jumping up and down cat meowing or something like that, then I ask her to calm it down, but at the school gates? I just let her be herself, and encourage her to look for the differences in her friends and embrace them!

Shes a bit shy/awkward/embarrassed and acting like this is kind og playing a character thst isnt herself.

I do tell her to give other kids space if she's being a bit of a space invader though!

I've had a few very small niggles over the years that she might be on the spectrum too, so I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case and this behaviour is part and parcel of that.

My daughter spends half her time being a dragon at the moment or a cat.
Took her to a birthday party the other week and they were all pretending to be animals and making noises.

Did you really just call your 5 year old weird and say you're embarrassed by her? You're vile

It has crossed my mind that she may be on the spectrum

What a fucking surprise, the second thread of the day bad mouthing Autism

I'd have no issue if everyone was doing it, but she was the only one and the other kids (and their mothers!!) were all looking at her like she was a total weirdo...a little later one of her other friends and arrived and was responding in a similar way, so at least they can be 2 little weirdos together!

Could be completely normal, that behaviour was telling for DD added to other odd behaviours tendency for ruminating on past events, making friends okay but couldn't keep them, obessive thought's and sensory issues.
Diagnosed ASD at 7.
She is 13 still shrieking.

@NameChangedAgain5953 please do jog on dear...where did I badmouth autism?? Yes I'm so vile, I feel terrible about feeling this way and want to deal with it sensitively!