No 2 minutes silence at gym. AIBU

[Mushypeasandchipstogo]

I went to my gym today for a class in the swimming pool. I had totally expected the class to finish just before 11am so that those who wanted to could observe the two minutes silence. By 10.55am it was apparent that this was not going to happen so I just took myself out of the pool and sat in the changing room by myself.
So as to not drip feed, I am from a Forces Family and the wrong side of 50! I found this totally disrespectful of the instructor. He could have, at the very least, mentioned that he had intended to not stop before the class. AIBU to be upset by this?

@Ionlydomassiveones

“No one is saying that Remembrance Sunday is performative. They are saying that silence for 2 minutes in the middle of a swimming pool or supermarket is performative and ridiculous.”

Why? I’d say on armistice day the fact that it’s a swimming pool or supermarket makes it even more poignant as that’s exactly what they died fighting for.

They died fighting for swimming pools and supermarkets?

@WhenISnappedAndFarted

My Grandad fought in WW2, in fact he was on a boat that got torpedoed and just survived, a lot of his friends didn't. He only died three years ago but was very anti all of this.

He used to say that he wished people would just remember in private and not do all these forced shows of remembrance.

My Grandad too! I wonder if it was the same ship?

They might be cynical, but not as much as the people saying that a nationally recognised silence is ‘performative’. It’s respect. Do it or don’t do it but you can’t label this poignant day and hour as ‘virtue signalling’. Shame on them.

Yes you can say it's virtue-signalling. And yes, some veterans agree. Did you also discount the views of the NHS workers who were totally against the performative 'clap for the NHS workers' thing, and were encouraging people to do what actually mattered and would help - i.e. use their vote? You don't get to decide 'It's not performative, it's respect'. If people are doing it performatively because they feel they have to, then it is performative.

It's 1 minute.

You can't book a class at that time and then get upset that it wasn't observed.

@Colouringaddict It was HMS Barham

Some people just dont give a fuck as they are way too selfish or ignorant. And the people on here saying they wore a poppy but didn't take the time to be silent are very double faced; pretending to support but secretly not giving a damn

I specifically said I was talking about those I have worked with.

Yes, and I asked if every single one you worked with felt that way. Seems unlikely.

I'd also wonder how many honest conversations you had with your grandfathers about their experience? Very few veterans talked about their dark experiences to their families, because there was a belief that it was better not to dwell on emotions.

I had many conversations with both my grandparents. My grandma was QAIMNS. My granda served both in Europe and the middle east. We read through the letters they sent home and to each other. Both went on to work with Combat Stress. My father served in Northern Ireland and still has his demons but is open about it. The only veteran in my family who hasn’t talked about his experiences is my brother who served in the first Gulf War. Maybe he’ll get to the stage when he is a grandparent that he can finally open up.

@ladygindiva

My gran was a deeply religious woman who did a lot for charity. However, she never observed remembrance day, and it was the only Sunday she didn't go to church. When I was old enough she told me why. Her brother died needlessly as a young man in an absolutely horrific botch of a battle in the war, leaving a widow and 3 young children including a newborn baby. She gave money to veterans and war widows charities etc but thought that remembrance Sunday and the two minutes silence were hypocritical, pompous and unhelpful. Just presenting a view of someone who didn't take part, but had the utmost respect for servicemen.

👆 This

@Marvellousmadness but buying a poppy gives money to the ex forces charity, observing a silence is nice as a mark of respect, but suspect everyone on the receiving end would prefer the hard cash.

You understand it's perfectly possible to 'give a fuck' while not feeling the need to demonstrate it publicly to other people, right? And that you have no idea whether the people publicly being silent for 2 minutes actually do give a fuck or whether they're just doing it because it looks bad if they don't? Also why would buying a poppy not be good in itself if it's raising money for veterans? Does that not count unless you be quiet for 2 minutes as well? It's better to do neither than one or the other? How bizarre.

And the people on here saying they wore a poppy but didn't take the time to be silent are very double faced; pretending to support but secretly not giving a damn

Or, they supported the charity and that’s what’s important.

@Kevinishot

I was teaching a spin class at 11am - i didn’t stop mid way through a track to sit in silence - it’s not how classes work. Not one person mentioned it at any point during the day. If you’re that bothered about it, don’t go to the bloody gym at that time.

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today.

how we honour the idea of soldiers while failing to support them in so many ways when they return

We should honour and support them

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today.

Actually, comments like this are more representative of what’s wrong with the world today.

@WheelieBinPrincess

I actually hate enforced silences, I never think about the thing I’m supposed to be thinking about. When we did at school I’m afraid I was more than likely thinking about what was in my lunchbox. When I was older i was probably thinking about if I should open the wine tonight even though it’s only Wednesday or if I turned my hot brush off.

That does NOT mean I don’t care about fallen soldiers or think about them in lots of other ways. I just think when someone says ‘now think about this thing’ it’s quite hard to do.

I have no problem being quiet during it though.

You're not making yourself sound like a particularly nice person there WheelieBin...... I'm sure you're lovely! But that didn't make you sound it!

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today

She really, really doesn’t.

@BoredZelda

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today.

Actually, comments like this are more representative of what’s wrong with the world today.

Agreed.

My grandfather was a funny, short man. Always making jokes and messing around. He bought me teddy bears in my birthday. and always gave me money for sweeties. He died when he was still a young man by today’s standards. His heart was knackered.

He volunteered for the army the day war was declared.

He would say that he was ‘in charge’ of his men because he could shout the loudest.

He told me that never got caught ‘by the jerries’ because he ran faster than they did.

He and his men had to hide out in the french countryside when cut off from the rest of the troops.

He was at the opening of at least one concentration camp - first lot of men in. He would vomit at the smell of burnt meat years later.

His whole team were blown up by a single bomb - only he survived.

He had a bayonet - a German one. He said a German soldier ‘gave it’ to him.

These were some of the things he told my grandmother. As a child (I was about 4 when he died) I couldn’t comprehend the horror - it was all adventure and daring do. As an adult - my god.

I think about him - and my grandma and mum too.

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today.

Do you not see? A comment like that represents much of what is wrong with the world today. But you won’t see, I suppose.

@BoredZelda

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today.

Actually, comments like this are more representative of what’s wrong with the world today.

Really? Perhaps you are right. Please educate me. Spin class?? Soldiers killed to give us our freedoms?? Go on, educate me.

@mustlovegin

how we honour the idea of soldiers while failing to support them in so many ways when they return

We should honour and support them

Yes but doing the “honouring” while forgetting the “supporting” feels cruel and soulless. I am certain that most veterans if they had to pick one would be happy to skip the statues and poppies and ceremonies and two minute silences in favour of genuine material support and respect.

@Lemonsyellow

Shame on you. You represent everything that is wrong with the world today.

Do you not see? A comment like that represents much of what is wrong with the world today. But you won’t see, I suppose.

No, I do not see. However, I'm willing to be educated. Rather than make silly statements, perhaps you could educate me.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose I think the poster who mentioned supermarkets and swimming pools meant that society would look very different if people hadn't fought to preserve democracies. We might be living in the equivalent to the Soviet Union during the Cold War, when people queued for limited foodstuffs and everything you did was highly regulated and restricted - your neighbours informed on you if you dared to criticise the regime -and you could disappear!

OK, things might not be that bad, but you get the point.

I have a father and grandfather who served and were lucky to survive. I have sold poppies, made them, counted the proceeds from the collection tins.
This year I donated but haven't worn a poppy. I was out hiking at 11am today and didn't stop and reflect.

@Baluchistan95 please tell me why I am everything that’s wrong with the world? I was at work, doing my job - it’s not the sort of job that is appropriate to stop half way through for 2 minutes - in fact, it could be potentially dangerous mid class to just stop. Would you say the same about a tube driver, or a surgeon, or a pilot? All just doing our job.

You also don’t know anything about me, or what I’m doing this weekend on actual Remembrance Sunday, so I suggest you perhaps wind your self-righteous neck in a bit.