Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

Another very lucky person then! Some people aren’t as lucky as you.

Well, if you knew my history, you may not feel I’m quite so lucky. But whatever you say.

@WildExcuses

Another very lucky person then! Some people aren’t as lucky as you.

Well, if you knew my history, you may not feel I’m quite so lucky. But whatever you say.

I’m going by your posts: I cope well with life. I don’t find parenting stressful

@thepeopleversuswork

Eleven hours?? Oh that's far, far too much for any child.

[quote Almostmenopausal]@thepeopleversuswork

Eleven hours?? Oh that's far, far too much for any child. [/quote]
OK but again, what exactly would you expect me to have done about this?

It's easy to sit in judgement if you don't have to do it isn't it?

I’m going by your posts: I cope well with life. I don’t find parenting stressful

That was in response to you saying I needed to change. I just commented that I don’t, as I’m not struggling with school communications or friendships like you insinuated.
I just don’t sweat the small stuff, like emails from school, because I have some real issues to deal with in my life. Maybe if I didn’t, I might think that school communications were a real issue and they take 5 hours per week. I really don’t think so though.
And as a pp said, I bet the parents of children who are in poverty at your school are not spending 5 hours on school comms either.
The parents I knew that made similar claims were the ones that seemed to be busy doing nothing. But they were always ‘sooooo busy’.

@WildExcuses

I’m going by your posts: I cope well with life. I don’t find parenting stressful

That was in response to you saying I needed to change. I just commented that I don’t, as I’m not struggling with school communications or friendships like you insinuated.
I just don’t sweat the small stuff, like emails from school, because I have some real issues to deal with in my life. Maybe if I didn’t, I might think that school communications were a real issue and they take 5 hours per week. I really don’t think so though.
And as a pp said, I bet the parents of children who are in poverty at your school are not spending 5 hours on school comms either.
The parents I knew that made similar claims were the ones that seemed to be busy doing nothing. But they were always ‘sooooo busy’.

And as a pp said, I bet the parents of children who are in poverty at your school are not spending 5 hours on school comms either.

Why would you bet that?

@thepeopleversuswork

*I would not want my child at school 8.30am to say 7pm!!!!

Well lucky you have this choice then isn't it. Some of us don't.

If you have to send your kids to school 8.30-7.30 every day you shouldn't have had them

All this information and it's still a pain in the arse to find any information that's actually important!

thepeopleversuswork
*I would not want my child at school 8.30am to say 7pm!!!!

Well lucky you have this choice then isn't it. Some of us don't.
If you have to send your kids to school 8.30-7.30 every day you shouldn't have had them

I thought that was someone else commenting that they send their child 8.30-7**

@Fomomofo

Frazzledcareerwoman, massive assumption on your part that people who don't agree with you, 'don't understand what bring busy really is'! Really? Perhaps they're just better able to handle more stuff, or more organised or less bothered by the admin involved in raising the kids they chose to have, or simply spending less time on mumsnet

Hahahahaha

People on this thread massively missing the point. Plus shaming people who work full time ( raise the kids you chose to have???)
Would you say that to a man who works full time? Ridiculous . Most people have to work full time, not a choice.

As pp have said it's a huge amount of admin, the mental load is already massive, adding to it in totally unnecessary ways is just super annoying.

I'm the most organised person I know and already juggle all the balls I can. Not responding to 10 school things a week isn't neglecting my kids

If you have to send your kids to school 8.30-7.30 every day you shouldn't have had them

It took a while but here it is! The biggest insult of all.. why did you bother having kids
Don't people realise how insulting this comment is?

@Louise5754

thepeopleversuswork *I would not want my child at school 8.30am to say 7pm!!!!

Well lucky you have this choice then isn't it. Some of us don't.
If you have to send your kids to school 8.30-7.30 every day you shouldn't have had them

I thought that was someone else commenting that they send their child 8.30-7**

My apologies.

If I'd consulted the crystal ball I'd had that would have told me my husband was going to turn out to be an abusive alcoholic who I would have to leave and work to support them all by myself, then OF COURSE I would have known not to have children.

I bow to your vastly superior parenting.

You can support your children without leaving them at school 11 hours a day. Just like everyone else?

@SpinsForGin

If you have to send your kids to school 8.30-7.30 every day you shouldn't have had them

It took a while but here it is! The biggest insult of all.. why did you bother having kids
Don't people realise how insulting this comment is?

Another one that leaves them in school 11 hours?

Nope.
But I don't judge other people (women) for making choices that enable them to work and provide for their family.

@Louise5754

You can support your children without leaving them at school 11 hours a day. Just like everyone else?

For the record I don't leave my child at school for 11 hours. I'm lucky enough now to be able to WFH so this no longer applies but for a period of my life my DD was in childcare from 8.30am until 6pm. This was something forced upon me as the price of keeping my job.

As you've obviously cracked it, I'd be really keen to know how you would have managed this? If your employer had required you to be at work for this period, what would have been your magic silver bullet?

Also the "everyone else" point is worth unpicking. I presume you are aware that there are other people (including, shock horror, other women), who work full time?

@Louise5754 such a nasty vile piece of work you are. Hope you’re proud of yourself.

[quote ButterflyAway]@Louise5754 such a nasty vile piece of work you are. Hope you’re proud of yourself.[/quote]
Kids shouldn't be in school or nursery 11 hours. That's not nasty or vile.

Kids shouldn't be in school or nursery 11 hours. That's not nasty or vile.

It is nasty and vile to suggest someone shouldn't have bothered having kids.

Erm, I received a text reminding me of all last week's key highlights at 7pm Sunday.
Seriously get a life whomever is sending that on a Sunday Eve.🤣🤣
You utter twat.

@Louise5754

I’m still waiting to hear back from you on what you would suggest working single parents do in situations where they are required to put their children in childcare to fulfil the requirements of their job.

Call me simple minded but I think if you’re going to stick your neck out and attack strangers on a public forum you should have the courage of your convictions and explain exactly why you would have done it differently.

No? Didn’t think so. You people are all talk and no trousers.

People that can skim read, and/or have learnt organational skills have an advantage.

Slow readers or people that struggle to read, or maybe English isn't their first language (who won't generally be reading word heavy forums like this) will find it so hard to read through everything from the schools in any sort of timely manner. I'm so glad my kids are grown up now.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable- I actually changed my children’s schools because of too many activities not related to education. Best decision I ever made. Schools have lost their way and are doing things that parents should be doing - there’s even a school in my area with a washing machine to wash students clothes - it’s ridiculous that university qualified professionals such as teachers are doing washing and making breakfast.
too many dress up days are not good either - at our previous school it was once a fortnight - way too much. New school has rules that state no more than once a term.

Child in Year 1. Texts, 2 apps, emails, and messages sent home in the book bag. Then there’s the parents Whatsapp, the School Twitter (different issue but why does the school need a bloody Twitter account???), and the PTA Facebook group. Some of them screenshot the info from one app and paste it in the other. It’s insane and it rarely tells me anything interesting- eg how is DC actually doing, academically and socially, and did he eat a fruit or a vegetable today or was it hot dogs with ketchup again

This. The school expends enormous effort to tell me about their fundraising efforts and Tabitha in year 3 who has passed grade 4 cello and other stuff I do not care about, yet I only get 10 mins twice a year at parents evening to tell me about how my actual child is doing at school. It’s like schools are about bake sales and Christmas concerts and not actually about developing children.

I thought it would end when ds went to high school but no

we have videos, letters which are more like essays from the headmaster, constant links to follow to book something, the child’s personal platform, the schools platform it’s never ending

they seem to think all parents are IT savvy we are not I often spend some time searching for something it isn’t straightforward