Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

@Fomofo

Why are you buying stuff like spiderman outfits from Asda?

Because not everyone has the time (or ability ) to make costumes. Surely you can understand that for many people the quickest solution is to buy a costume.

Buying a costume is also the only way to include your kid. Unless you’re amazing at rustling up a head to toe Dobby costume using black bags and old yoghurt pots, your kid will stand out a mile in their cobbled together costume.

we normally adapt some item of clothing we already have, and to be fair we also have a dressing up box of old toot that's collected over the years, snd no asda near me

Ah you see that's where we differ, I think a 'cobbled together costume' rocks. My kids don't have top of the range fancy dress

@Fomofo

we normally adapt some item of clothing we already have, and to be fair we also have a dressing up box of old toot that's collected over the years, snd no asda near me

But you can understand that not everyone has this or can adapt items of clothing they already have?

Pumper, I've done all those things without buying costumes

If you don't buy a costume, then presumably you make one?
Which not everyone has the time, material or skills for.
When my DD was at primary I was a SAHM without the budget to buy all the costumes so I used to try and make them. It took a lot of time and effort, and DD didn't appreciate it!🤣 she didn't like being the different one in a home made costume next to all the amazon "uniforms"!

@Fomofo

Ah you see that's where we differ, I think a 'cobbled together costume' rocks. My kids don't have top of the range fancy dress

They’ll stand out a mile then. But lucky you having so much spare time, and enough space to be able to hoard costume bits for years on end!

Thankfully most of the special assembly and dressing up stuff drops off once they get to secondary (certainly by year 8) and DDs school (may not be the same at others) expects the kids to note things in their planner and relay information to parents, so if they don't and they therefore get a detention for not having the right kit or whatever they learn a lesson. I see mainly year 7 parents panicking on the parents Facebook group, about what ingredients they need or when a piece of homework is due back, they get used to the change of focus eventually. It's worth getting them to take more responsibility gradually in years 5 and 6.

They do send the odd text but I generally just forward it to DD, actual paper correspondence is virtually nonexistent.

@SpinsForGin

Make the suggestions to the school then. Moaning on here is rather pointless and just becomes a pile on of teachers this and teachers that, when teachers actually don't get to decide on how notifications are made, the events that happen, office admin or school lunches.

I want less , I can't be bothered, I don't have time for this is not a suggestion. If there's a genuine solution that the school has overlooked for whatever reason , then by all means talk to the school and check if it's feasible.

Some months /terms are also busier than others so it's not actually year round.

I did and became a parent governor.

That's great! I'm not being snarky btw.

Pumper, 1) they don't stand out a mile because plenty of other parents do the same, 2) even if they do 'stand out a mile', great, it's a bit of fun, must we all conform? 3), I've been a parent for many years so 'hoarding' dress up stuff in a basket has not taken up much of my time, 4) crafty stuff can be done whilst watching TV, 5) I limit the amount of time on things like mumsnet, amazing what can be achieved

Most people on this thread are moaning about the admin. I actually agree that the dress up days should mostly stop due to not everyone either being able to make a costume, not having the money spare and for the environmental impact.

But this thread is mainly about the admin. If everyone had the money to buy an outfit and there was no environmental impact, there’s very little admin involved sending your child in an outfit. You either already have something, buy it when you’re at the supermarket or order online which takes a few minutes. It’s the cost an environment which are the issue.

Things like odd sock day are easy. Other things like bring a pringles tube, well if you don’t eat pringles you just don’t take one. We’ve not taken in things like that before, other people bring 5 or the school have some already so it’s never been an issue. Poppies, school photos, taking in things for harvest festival... they’re all optional. I very rarely bought school photos as I don’t really like them. People are clearly thinking they have to send in things when it really is optional. Again, very little admin. Cost, optional.

@Fomofo

Pumper, 1) they don't stand out a mile because plenty of other parents do the same, 2) even if they do 'stand out a mile', great, it's a bit of fun, must we all conform? 3), I've been a parent for many years so 'hoarding' dress up stuff in a basket has not taken up much of my time, 4) crafty stuff can be done whilst watching TV, 5) I limit the amount of time on things like mumsnet, amazing what can be achieved

So you say, having argued on mumsnet since 11pm yesterday 🤣🤣

I promise you, your kids will stand out. People don’t have the time or the inclination to glue egg boxes to a black T-shirt and send their kid in as Esio Trot. And you might force your kids to live a non-conformist lifestyle because it suits you but kids want to fit in with their peer group.

Far from being inclusive, days like these are the most exclusive of the year for a lot of kids.

@WildExcuses

Most people on this thread are moaning about the admin. I actually agree that the dress up days should mostly stop due to not everyone either being able to make a costume, not having the money spare and for the environmental impact.

But this thread is mainly about the admin. If everyone had the money to buy an outfit and there was no environmental impact, there’s very little admin involved sending your child in an outfit. You either already have something, buy it when you’re at the supermarket or order online which takes a few minutes. It’s the cost an environment which are the issue.

Things like odd sock day are easy. Other things like bring a pringles tube, well if you don’t eat pringles you just don’t take one. We’ve not taken in things like that before, other people bring 5 or the school have some already so it’s never been an issue. Poppies, school photos, taking in things for harvest festival... they’re all optional. I very rarely bought school photos as I don’t really like them. People are clearly thinking they have to send in things when it really is optional. Again, very little admin. Cost, optional.

How is odd sock day easy?

@Fomofo

Pumper, 1) they don't stand out a mile because plenty of other parents do the same, 2) even if they do 'stand out a mile', great, it's a bit of fun, must we all conform? 3), I've been a parent for many years so 'hoarding' dress up stuff in a basket has not taken up much of my time, 4) crafty stuff can be done whilst watching TV, 5) I limit the amount of time on things like mumsnet, amazing what can be achieved

And those of us that haven't been a parent for years? We've not had chance to build up a stock of fancy dress outfits.

Not everyone has the ability to make costumes. You may find it easy but not everyone does. As for making a costume while watching tv..... That's not how I spend what little downtime I have. Not everyone does....,

You can also stop the the digs about how much the people spend on MN. You've made your point and we hear your judgement loud and clear 👍🏻

Pumper, ah but you see I'm not one of those moaning I don't have enough time, at the moment I've got plenty of time to hang out on mumsnet

Pumper, and believe me, one of my kids does not want to conform in the least, not all my kids are the same

• World book day costumes - it's always been stuff from the dress up box or outfits for things she was into that could be repurposed. Halloween costumes- see above

Greek day (whatever that is)- DD's school doesn't do this, and at my school there's a range of bought, cobbled together (white sheet,shirt,tshirt with a tie) plus what we have in our dress up box
Odd sock day - everyone has socks, some might even be odd

Children in need - I stopped buying those as I don't need a billion headbands or wristbands
Wear something purple - i have it, or use the closest colour available, or swap with another parent or just send the pound in. No one cares.
Wear something red - see above
Bring a Pringles tube
Poppies for Remembrance Day
School photographs- rarely buy them

Christmas cards- DD doesn't do them as she can't be arsed to write 30 of them
Spring Fayre
Christmas Fayre
Summer Fayre
Harvest Festival - sometimes i give stuff sometimes I don't

Fairs, donations are welcome but they're mostly asking for time/volunteers to man the stalls.

If you want to talk money , DD's school asks for a school fund every year at £90 and now there's a brand new and shiny covid fund at £20 (per term or year.. can't remember) on top of everything else. Sometimes I've paid , sometimes I didn't.

@Fomofo

Pumper, ah but you see I'm not one of those moaning I don't have enough time, at the moment I've got plenty of time to hang out on mumsnet

Not working?

How is odd sock day easy?

Your children don’t have socks....or all their socks are the same? All your families socks are the same? Sorting the washing must be a nightmare in your house.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

* World book day costumes - it's always been stuff from the dress up box or outfits for things she was into that could be repurposed. Halloween costumes- see above

Greek day (whatever that is)- DD's school doesn't do this, and at my school there's a range of bought, cobbled together (white sheet,shirt,tshirt with a tie) plus what we have in our dress up box
Odd sock day - everyone has socks, some might even be odd

Children in need - I stopped buying those as I don't need a billion headbands or wristbands
Wear something purple - i have it, or use the closest colour available, or swap with another parent or just send the pound in. No one cares.
Wear something red - see above
Bring a Pringles tube
Poppies for Remembrance Day
School photographs- rarely buy them

Christmas cards- DD doesn't do them as she can't be arsed to write 30 of them
Spring Fayre
Christmas Fayre
Summer Fayre
Harvest Festival - sometimes i give stuff sometimes I don't

Fairs, donations are welcome but they're mostly asking for time/volunteers to man the stalls.

If you want to talk money , DD's school asks for a school fund every year at £90 and now there's a brand new and shiny covid fund at £20 (per term or year.. can't remember) on top of everything else. Sometimes I've paid , sometimes I didn't.

Lucky you! You’ve got loads of spare dress up stuff, you’ve got a range of different coloured clothing, you’ve got spare socks that aren’t all grey (school socks) so can mix and match them, hooray!

We don’t do dress up days at my school either. We do stuff in the classroom for WBD.

@WildExcuses

How is odd sock day easy?

Your children don’t have socks....or all their socks are the same? All your families socks are the same? Sorting the washing must be a nightmare in your house.

No, not my house - but yes, for a lot of the children at my school they only have grey socks because their families got school uniform funding and that’s what they bought. So they wear school socks all year round.

And not to mention - and I don’t know what odd sock day is so apologies if this is well known - you have to remember what date they’ve to wear odd socks, and is there a donation involved for the cause? Is it a charity thing?

Pumper, yeah not working, back at work bright and early tomorrow

@Fomofo

Pumper, yeah not working, back at work bright and early tomorrow

Lucky you, so much free time!

No, not my house - but yes, for a lot of the children at my school they only have grey socks because their families got school uniform funding and that’s what they bought. So they wear school socks all year round.

They could wear a sock belonging to their mum/dad/carer/cousin etc. Your arguments are becoming ridiculous.

you have to remember what date they’ve to wear odd socks, and is there a donation involved for the cause? Is it a charity thing?

Write it down. 🤷🏻‍♀️ A donation is ALWAYS optional. In fact, my kids have sometimes come home with the £1 coin I’ve sent them with. They’ve sometimes given it in the next day, but not always and no one has chased us for it.
If your school has lots of families who are struggling, they will be very understanding of this.

My kids primary had about 450 children in. They never made £450 on these donate £1 dress up days. And that’s because not everyone paid.