Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

Haven’t read the whole thread but OP I agree entirely. Secondary is even worse - we get half the information then get directed to the website for “more information and contact details” which means hours trawling through the least intuitive website in the world, set up by people who assume we all know the school processes and which Mr Morris is the maths teacher. And breathe.

YES OP YES
It's a nightmare

Tbh I feel it's completely out of order to assume parents have the time and mental space to take on another admin job on top of their actual job. They should automate as much as possible ( why TF do I have to manually pay breakfast club every half term) and they should organise the other stuff without asking parents as much as is possible.

It's the assumption that grates on me.

@Fomomofo

Ah well your kids will be grown up soon and all that pesky communication from people trying to educate them will stop

You are completely missing the point.

People talking about how it doesn't take 5 hours a week don't understand what being really busy means. Like not having the time to even think about the bloody school emails.

Schools in general are terribly organised which makes it worse. Secondary school they have like 3 different portals and payment systems. My sons preschool is marginally better but still very inefficient.

@ButterflyAway

Teachers seem to be of the view that mums all stay at home and quite happily sort out all the pointless junk they send home. When DC school realised I worked full time they turned rather frosty towards me. Went from thinking they were the most undervalued and under appreciated work force to thinking they’re over paid arses who can’t just get on with their jobs without constant fuss.

No, teachers don’t have that that view. You do realise the majority of teachers are working mothers themselves, right? And may well be working full time whilst trying to deal with all the admin from their own kids’ schools too? God forbid teachers don’t share the the ins and outs of a ducks arse with parents. If you had any idea how much pointless, communication and admin teachers have to deal with from parents as well as the demands to be involved, you might understand why they are forced into this position. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Teachers are not a separate species, ffs.

Many years ago now my so started primary school with a staggered introduction to school it was awful what good did it do .I worked many miles away it was a bloody nightmare Had to find somebody to collect him and look after him till I got home Husband then could not help with childcare )it was deemed womens work)

I get about 10-20 emails a day from school. We manage by me and dh both receiving the emails (had to request this at our school usually only one parent mum receives them) and then we try to only read the ones relating to our dc by skim reading the subject then moving on if necessary, if both of us do this normally one of us picks up on the urgent ones.

I always joke how easy my mum had it, sahm and no emails or texts or 'rules' just crumpled up letters in my school bag if she was lucky enough for me to bring it home, tbh she spent half my primary years volunteering running reading clubs for those that were falling behind in reading along with the other mums. I would rather that life anyday!

Frazzledcareerwoman, massive assumption on your part that people who don't agree with you, 'don't understand what bring busy really is'! Really? Perhaps they're just better able to handle more stuff, or more organised or less bothered by the admin involved in raising the kids they chose to have, or simply spending less time on mumsnet

Yanbu.
I dread the return to school after holidays because of the relentless flow of communications.
My menopausal brain can't process the volume of info and I'm permanently confused

Are people not allowed to suggest that there might be a more effective way of dealing with this aspect of being a parent? Just because we chose to have children doesn't mean to should shut up and put up.

Complaining about an aspect of parenting being overwhelming doesn't mean we don't love out kids or don't want to engage with their school.
People are just saying that there might be a more effective way which better reflects the society we live in where two working parents are the norm.

So modern life is tricky then, why aren't people complaining about too much stuff to do in other parts of their lives, why pick on schools

So modern life is tricky then, why aren't people complaining about too much stuff to do in other parts of their lives, why pick on schools

How do you know they aren't? But this is a thread about schools, so it would be weird to start complaining on this thread about random other stuff

@Fomomofo

So modern life is tricky then, why aren't people complaining about too much stuff to do in other parts of their lives, why pick on schools

I'm sure they do but this is a specific thread about schools 🤷🏼‍♀️

@SpinsForGin

Are people not allowed to suggest that there might be a more effective way of dealing with this aspect of being a parent? Just because we chose to have children doesn't mean to should shut up and put up.

Complaining about an aspect of parenting being overwhelming doesn't mean we don't love out kids or don't want to engage with their school.
People are just saying that there might be a more effective way which better reflects the society we live in where two working parents are the norm.

Make the suggestions to the school then. Moaning on here is rather pointless and just becomes a pile on of teachers this and teachers that, when teachers actually don't get to decide on how notifications are made, the events that happen, office admin or school lunches.

I want less , I can't be bothered, I don't have time for this is not a suggestion. If there's a genuine solution that the school has overlooked for whatever reason , then by all means talk to the school and check if it's feasible.

Some months /terms are also busier than others so it's not actually year round.

@Fomomofo

Frazzledcareerwoman, massive assumption on your part that people who don't agree with you, 'don't understand what bring busy really is'! Really? Perhaps they're just better able to handle more stuff, or more organised or less bothered by the admin involved in raising the kids they chose to have, or simply spending less time on mumsnet

Please please please explain to me why buying my kid a £15 Spider-Man costume from Asda makes me more involved in the raising of my child than someone who doesn’t have £15 spare. I’m all ears.

Please please please explain to me why buying my kid a £15 Spider-Man costume from Asda makes me more involved in the raising of my child than someone who doesn’t have £15 spare. I’m all ears.

Who said anything about buying stuff?

Make the suggestions to the school then. Moaning on here is rather pointless and just becomes a pile on of teachers this and teachers that, when teachers actually don't get to decide on how notifications are made, the events that happen, office admin or school lunches.

I want less , I can't be bothered, I don't have time for this is not a suggestion. If there's a genuine solution that the school has overlooked for whatever reason , then by all means talk to the school and check if it's feasible.

Some months /terms are also busier than others so it's not actually year round.

I did and became a parent governor.

And as far as I can see there hasn't been a pile on towards teachers. However, parents are allowed to be critical and threads like these see parents sharing their own experiences.

As a university lecturer, I know what it feels like to have your profession become the subject of critical threads believe me!

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Please please please explain to me why buying my kid a £15 Spider-Man costume from Asda makes me more involved in the raising of my child than someone who doesn’t have £15 spare. I’m all ears.

Who said anything about buying stuff?

Many, many, many people on this thread:

World book day costumes
Halloween costumes
Greek day (whatever that is)
Odd sock day
Children in need
Wear something purple
Wear something red
Bring a Pringles tube
Poppies for Remembrance Day
School photographs
Christmas cards
Spring Fayre
Christmas Fayre
Summer Fayre
Harvest Festival

I’m sure there’s more.

Why are you buying stuff like spiderman outfits from Asda?

Pumper, I've done all those things without buying costumes

@Fomofo

Why are you buying stuff like spiderman outfits from Asda?

World book day. Or Halloween.

I can sense where this conversation is about to go, so just a reminder: I’m a teacher. I know what World Book Day is.

I hear you. It's a lot of admin and organisation especially one you have more than one child at school! You get used to it, but it can be tiresome. Some days I get 3-4 messages from the school about various things.

@Fomofo

Pumper, I've done all those things without buying costumes

How did your kids dress up for World Book Day or Halloween?