Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

The PSA is totally out of control. I got approx 50 different messages about multiple fund raising events this week. I am very happy to bung 50 quid their way and never participate in a single bake sale or Christmas event or whatever, but some are extremely into the community spirit aspect. It’s very tiresome as the school promote it all to the kids.

You're saying you send your child to school 8.30-7.30 well that's your fault I'm afraid.

I don't actually send my child to school 8.30 to 7.30 now because I WFH so thankfully have some flexibility. But I have in the past. I've had to.

I'm a single parent and work FT in a job that until recently required me to be in an office from 9 until 6. How is this my fault, exactly? What would you have me do?

@monotonousmum

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

It's micromanaging admin nuisance, I receive reminders about my ex-wifes' school childcare bill, she receives mine, etc, etc. We're like have you seen this. Jumper days, let's all have a yellow jumper day, tell everyone at 4 pm the day before.

Feel like replying, Oh, do fuck off.

Yes, I hate this too. And if I don't read them, one school will text me to remind me to read it, and I've been told via a phone call that they get a read receipt when I've read it. Sometimes the emails are important, and sometimes it's just newsletters. I get so bogged down with the amount of emails I receive, it's hard to sift through it all sometimes, it's like a job, it can take up at least 6 hours a week.

6 hours now. 😬

@WildExcuses

6 hours now. 😬

Well I should have said, I have two children with special needs, so always have a tonne of admin.

@WildExcuses

6 hours now. 😬

You still haven’t said how you know they’re lying.

Well I should have said, I have two children with special needs, so always have a tonne of admin.

Is that specifically due to their needs? Obviously if it is, it needs to be done. If it’s just general stuff, why would it take that long?

@WildExcuses

Well I should have said, I have two children with special needs, so always have a tonne of admin.

Is that specifically due to their needs? Obviously if it is, it needs to be done. If it’s just general stuff, why would it take that long?

Because it does. Because I'm tired, I have no time, I get barely any sleep, it's near impossible to concentrate on anything in the evenings, and then when they've finally gone to bed, I tend to fall asleep on the sofa. I'm a single parent. My ex is a turd, I never get a break. Maybe I'm just shit at being organised. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You still haven’t said how you know they’re lying.

So you believe them? Ok. I don’t.

I’ve been a parent receiving all the types of communication from the school listed here, dealt with all the dress up days and homework projects etc, it just doesn’t take that long. I have friends who do the same as me, skim over stuff, do the necessary, ignore the rest. Parents I’ve spoken to and mentioned some random email to, often don’t know what I’m talking about, so they’re not spending hours reading this stuff. The messages in WhatsApp show that most parents in the group are not reading even the important stuff, never mind the stuff you can ignore with no direct consequence to your child. So no, I don’t believe that this stuff is taking up 5 hours per week.

Because it does. Because I'm tired, I have no time, I get barely any sleep, it's near impossible to concentrate on anything in the evenings, and then when they've finally gone to bed, I tend to fall asleep on the sofa. I'm a single parent. My ex is a turd, I never get a break. Maybe I'm just shit at being organised.

That sounds tough and I genuinely feel for you.

But if you don’t get the time and then you fall asleep, surely you’re just not doing it or spending very little time on it. Which is exactly what I would do too in your situation.

@WildExcuses

You still haven’t said how you know they’re lying.

So you believe them? Ok. I don’t.

I’ve been a parent receiving all the types of communication from the school listed here, dealt with all the dress up days and homework projects etc, it just doesn’t take that long. I have friends who do the same as me, skim over stuff, do the necessary, ignore the rest. Parents I’ve spoken to and mentioned some random email to, often don’t know what I’m talking about, so they’re not spending hours reading this stuff. The messages in WhatsApp show that most parents in the group are not reading even the important stuff, never mind the stuff you can ignore with no direct consequence to your child. So no, I don’t believe that this stuff is taking up 5 hours per week.

I believe them, yes. I outlined all the reasons earlier that it could take people hours to get through school stuff. If you choose not to recognise any of those, that’s your issue I’m afraid.

I believe them, yes. I outlined all the reasons earlier that it could take people hours to get through school stuff. If you choose not to recognise any of those, that’s your issue I’m afraid.

I haven’t read anything that’s convinced me it takes parents 5 hours per week to do school admin of that it’s like having a part time job. And I don’t believe that even if it realistically took that long, that there would be many parents willing to spend that much time doing it.

• 5 hours per week. I believe them, yes. I outlined all the reasons earlier that it could take people hours to get through school stuff. If you choose not to recognise any of those, that’s your issue I’m afraid.*

Considering you think loads of families can't cope with finding a spare sock , of course you believe them.

Considering you think loads of families can't cope with finding a spare sock , of course you believe them.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

* 5 hours per week. I believe them, yes. I outlined all the reasons earlier that it could take people hours to get through school stuff. If you choose not to recognise any of those, that’s your issue I’m afraid.*

Considering you think loads of families can't cope with finding a spare sock , of course you believe them.

You don’t believe there are families in poverty either? You need to do some research.

@WildExcuses

I believe them, yes. I outlined all the reasons earlier that it could take people hours to get through school stuff. If you choose not to recognise any of those, that’s your issue I’m afraid.

I haven’t read anything that’s convinced me it takes parents 5 hours per week to do school admin of that it’s like having a part time job. And I don’t believe that even if it realistically took that long, that there would be many parents willing to spend that much time doing it.

if it realistically took that long, that there would be many parents willing to spend that much time doing it

You are dangerously close to an epiphany here!

You are dangerously close to an epiphany here!

Nope. Because it doesn’t take that long. There’s just lots of very dramatic people on here.

I’ve listened to them at the school and it’s always the ones who have a problem with everything moaning away. If you tell them that they don’t have to pay for school photos or donate a pound and that spending 30 minutes on the holiday project is ok and their child should be doing most of it anyway, you get frozen out cos it doesn’t fit their narrative of ‘omg, it’s like having another job’.

@WildExcuses

You are dangerously close to an epiphany here!

Nope. Because it doesn’t take that long. There’s just lots of very dramatic people on here.

I’ve listened to them at the school and it’s always the ones who have a problem with everything moaning away. If you tell them that they don’t have to pay for school photos or donate a pound and that spending 30 minutes on the holiday project is ok and their child should be doing most of it anyway, you get frozen out cos it doesn’t fit their narrative of ‘omg, it’s like having another job’.

Do you find yourself ‘frozen out’ of a lot of social situations?

You don’t believe there are families in poverty either? You need to do some research.

No, you need to use your inference powers for good rather than making stuff up to suit you/your argument.

As an aside, I bet there's very little overlap between the really poor and disadvantaged families and those that spend 5/6 hours on school admin.

Do you find yourself ‘frozen out’ of a lot of social situations?

I don’t class picking my child up from school on a day off as a social situation. That’s part of the issue. The same parents standing round for ages slagging everything off. When you offer a solution, it’s an issue to them.

But no, I have had a lovely group of friends for many years. And a newer group I’m getting to know through volunteering. I tend to get on with people who just get on with things, and people who, if there’s an issue, actually want a solution, not just want to moan. My mum was a moaner and didn’t want any solutions, she was very draining to be around.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

You don’t believe there are families in poverty either? You need to do some research.

No, you need to use your inference powers for good rather than making stuff up to suit you/your argument.

As an aside, I bet there's very little overlap between the really poor and disadvantaged families and those that spend 5/6 hours on school admin.

I work with children in extreme poverty. I promise you, something as trivial to you as odd socks day is a massive deal in some families.

@WildExcuses

Do you find yourself ‘frozen out’ of a lot of social situations?

I don’t class picking my child up from school on a day off as a social situation. That’s part of the issue. The same parents standing round for ages slagging everything off. When you offer a solution, it’s an issue to them.

But no, I have had a lovely group of friends for many years. And a newer group I’m getting to know through volunteering. I tend to get on with people who just get on with things, and people who, if there’s an issue, actually want a solution, not just want to moan. My mum was a moaner and didn’t want any solutions, she was very draining to be around.

Maybe it’s your tone then, you don’t seem very responsive to challenging topics, you do a lot of mud slinging. In my class we talk about good listening, maybe have a look at some techniques around that.

Maybe it’s your tone then, you don’t seem very responsive to challenging topics, you do a lot of mud slinging. In my class we talk about good listening, maybe have a look at some techniques around that.

I cope well with life. I don’t find parenting stressful and have coped with all the admin that school has sent me. If I had any issues, I’d certainly look at ways and techniques to solve them. It’s other people on this thread that may need help coping so pass your advice onto them instead.

Thanks for your concern though. 👍

@WildExcuses

Maybe it’s your tone then, you don’t seem very responsive to challenging topics, you do a lot of mud slinging. In my class we talk about good listening, maybe have a look at some techniques around that.

I cope well with life. I don’t find parenting stressful and have coped with all the admin that school has sent me. If I had any issues, I’d certainly look at ways and techniques to solve them. It’s other people on this thread that may need help coping so pass your advice onto them instead.

Thanks for your concern though. 👍

Another very lucky person then! Some people aren’t as lucky as you.