Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

But by that point I’ve wasted valuable seconds opening it and reading it.

I can spare a few seconds.

@WildExcuses

But by that point I’ve wasted valuable seconds opening it and reading it.

I can spare a few seconds.

You should try social media. It’s much more interesting.

You should try social media. It’s much more interesting.

I do. Also generally full of moaners. 🤣

First comes the message, then the endless round the houses on the parent WhatsApp while the hard of thinking slowly digest the message.

@WildExcuses

You should try social media. It’s much more interesting.

I do. Also generally full of moaners. 🤣

It always makes me laugh when people moan, on mumsnet, that people spend too much time moaning on mumsnet 🤣

It always makes me laugh when people moan, on mumsnet, that people spend too much time moaning on mumsnet

I’m not moaning, it’s a good source of entertainment. That’s why I spend time here.

@WildExcuses

It frequently gets said on threads like this.

I’m sure it does. It’s to be expected if people are going to complain that they don’t have time for things regarding their children but are then posting a lot on forums/social media.

Most teachers and school staff are doing their best but it’ll never be good enough. People just like to whinge.

No sure, you’re definitely above moaning.

No sure, you’re definitely above moaning.

How’s that moaning? It’s just stating what’s happening.

@WildExcuses

No sure, you’re definitely above moaning.

How’s that moaning? It’s just stating what’s happening.

they don’t have time for things regarding their children but are then posting a lot on forums/social media

No, it’s what you assume is happening, so you’ve something to moan about.

No, it’s what you assume is happening, so you’ve something to moan about.

No, it’s literally the what the whole thread is.

*So many things I had to be involved in (besides what we were happily doing at home without the pressure of being expected to do it) and it affected my mental health badly. I always wondered how other parents seemed to be enjoying all of it.

I hated school growing up and it felt like I'd gone back. Maybe that's why*

I'm glad someone has mentioned this. Why do other mums seem so cheery all the time. Chatting at the school gate with beaming smiles. The whole thing triggers my mental health too.

@WildExcuses

No, it’s what you assume is happening, so you’ve something to moan about.

No, it’s literally the what the whole thread is.

No, it isn’t.

No, it isn’t.

Yes it is. This could go on all night. 🤣

YADNBU
I am so glad I came across this post. I too work fulltime and have one in Yr1 and one still in nursery. The nursery communicates just fine. The school messages are so OTT it is like having a second part-time admin job on top of my own job! The staggered starts were ridiculous.
What really annoys me is that they forget our kids started during Covid. We never went inside the building and all events were pretty much cancelled during reception year. But now when they say things like "Keepie Uppie football is back and in the usual place" they just expect us to know what they mean as if we all had kids at the school pre Covid! Many of us didn't! So we have to spend time emailing the school or asking on the WhatsApp parent group where the "usual place" is!!

@WildExcuses

No, it isn’t.

Yes it is. This could go on all night. 🤣

It won’t though, because you’re wrong. Most people are not wilfully ignoring their children’s school to spend all their time on social media. It’s because the communication from schools (and I say this as a teacher) is dire, and far, far too much. It’s not one or the other, it’s both.

@Strictly1 TBH I would rather schools didnt do those things then. Those are the most vulnerable kids. The kids whose parents do everything will be fine without the extras at school.

Pumperthepumper

But people saying they spend 5 hours per week on school admin is lies. It’s not like a part time job.

And if people want it to change, they need to communicate it to the school, instead of moaning on here.

@WildExcuses

Pumperthepumper

But people saying they spend 5 hours per week on school admin is lies. It’s not like a part time job.

And if people want it to change, they need to communicate it to the school, instead of moaning on here.

How do you know it’s lies? You said you don’t have children at primary school.

Pumperthepumper
Because if it's taking you 5 hours per week to read and act on messages related to your child being in primary school then you're either the slowest reader in the world or highly, highly disorganised.

Top tip *change a £20 note in to £1 and put them in a jar labelled "school things"

Or as I call it Primary school GDP

That way you've always got that £1 for the dress up day, school fundraising, party.

Then mark down the important things PE days and reminder to pay school lunches every Monday.

After that...just ignore everything except Parent Evenings/school trips/ dress up days

Check bag every evening when rummaging for half eaten pear for any paper letters, reading book and homework.

That's all I do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Iamnotthe1

Pumperthepumper Because if it's taking you 5 hours per week to read and act on messages related to your child being in primary school then you're either the slowest reader in the world or highly, highly disorganised.

Or busy? Or struggle with literacy? Or have sensory disorders that make processing information difficult? Or have multiple children at multiple schools? Or have mental health difficulties that make priorities difficult to order? Or poor? Or have no way to access the many platforms schools send information though so have to rely on other people passing it on?

@Iamnotthe1 its not reading messages that takes 5 hours - its acting on it. Make a Roman helmet with your child, dress up as a Greek, etc. This all takes time.

@monotonousmum Here's a copy & paste of my post on a very similar thread by a Mum who's child is about to start school, just yesterday! I'm 3 years in & weary.

"I'm not trying to worry you - more 'prepare' you. But honestly, as a Mum who is currently on long term sabbatical & therefore at home mon-fri, it STILL sometimes feels like at least a part time occupation.
To be fair, we do spend over an hour in the car total per day commuting (mandatory for real reasons) but then there's homework, reading books every night followed by the online quiz on said book, then the wonderful Purple Mash online additional schoolwork that is "Not mandatory but preferred" (in other words you'll feel like you could potentially be considered a shit parent if you don't), weekly coffee mornings, after school clubs which you often forget about, which leaves you roaming free for 60 mins, play dates, random sale tables that pop up on the playground without warning that find you agreeing to owe a TA £5.50 for a tiny knitted Santa hat covering a Terry's Chocolate Orange (yes, really.....).
Oh and of course the lovely Harvest Festivals & Nativities which become the hot topic of the playground, along with those parents who bring every family member and lumber most of the rest of us totally unable to see our own child, resulting in requesting to see everyone else's videos in the hope of a glimpse of your child's performance which you spent the best part of your afternoon attending, only to end up watching some Dad's dandruff. The Harvest festival in particular, requires donations of fresh fruit & veg and pantry food, to be donated to the food bank - great! No problem with this one at all! However it always seems to result in the same group of parents competing to out-do each other!
"Oh I just chucked some Samphire, Mange Tout & Pattypan Squash in a hessian bag with 2 kilos of Bulgar Wheat 🤷🏼‍♀️ To hell with it, I thought"

So yeah, it's not just the constant texts that get on my wick, it's the entire school experience!!

Pumperthepumper
But we aren't talking about relatively rare cases of people with processing disorders etc. for whom a wide range of parental responsibilities will be difficult. Schools will also typically do more with these parents in order to support them; every school I've worked in certainly has.

If a busy person has 5 hours to spend on school admin then they weren't actually busy to begin with as they wouldn't be able to do it if they were so that doesn't make any sense.

The harsh reality is that a number of the people who moan about the messages as the same people who need them to keep them organised. The same people who moan about the number of events are the same people who would call the staff a set of miserable buggers if they didn't put them on.

[quote julieca]@Iamnotthe1 its not reading messages that takes 5 hours - its acting on it. Make a Roman helmet with your child, dress up as a Greek, etc. This all takes time.[/quote]
And if there is something like that every single week that takes it to 5 hours then, yes, there's a reason to speak with the school as to the events they put on. Equally, if your school is still doing irrelevant and non-developmental homework like "make a helmet" then, again, that is something to talk to them about.

But I honestly can't see how a one-off "Greek Day" as part of immersion into a topic can ever be too much to handle if you've enough notice and the ability to reach out to the school if you're struggling.