Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

YAsoNBU! I've been harping on about this since September. I'm one of the lucky ones, I'm only working part time and with very flexible hours so it doesn't matter too much to me day-to-day and yet I still find it intensely irritating and can't wrap my head around how people who work FT with little flexibility manage. Schools are completely at odds with how society is set up nowadays. My DDs school think people can come at the drop of a hat to pick up after a child has had a fucking bee sting?! I would be a stressed mess if I was working FT. Its truly like they work on the premise that every family has a SAHP. It's crazy.

Reading some of the posts on this thread have made me so grateful that my children are now grownups (25 & 32), we didn't have any of this pointless messaging, we had a weekly news roundup with reminders of forthcoming events etc printed on paper and put into book bags on Friday afternoon - so much easier!

Definitely not unreasonable. Staggered start for my youngest was part of the reason I quit my career and went freelance. I couldn’t manage two drop off and pick up times for six weeks and had no one to help. Then there’s all the drop ins (pre Covid) to see what they’ve been learning, i.e. do some colouring together crammed in a classroom with all the other parents and kids and listen to them sing a song.

The communication is off the chart. I saw someone had a genius idea of a school email address that she and the father shared so they both saw comms. They also used it for all the apps so they could share responsibility for those too. Genius. But still overwhelming.

Our school are ok with quantity but sometimes it comes through text, sometimes email, sometimes MCAS, setimes tapestry (eyfs) and sometimes Google classroom.

Trying to not miss anything is hardworking.

I'm in the management team of a large primary school. Communication with parents/ parental involvement is something we are required to work on in education these days - a lot of parents are actually quite demanding for more and get upset if we forget to inform them. A lot also don't read their messages, hence the repetition. Manu reminders re eg PE kit are because x% of parents will forget, but of course, the parents who actually read the messages aren't likely to be in that %.(all ours are sent by the same app, only direct personal messages are sent by email to a few parents who have requested particular information)

Its complicated for us to remember to send all the information we need to give. Different members of the senior team lead and organise on different aspects of the school, so arrange to send their own messages. It wouldn't be easy to save them all up for one message.

Re the staggered start in reception. Yes it's common and considered good practice. Its about the needs of the children, not the parents. Having a few each day helps the child settle and the teacher get to know them. The school should let parents know well in advance. Our settling in period goes on for about a month. (But our school is very multi ethnic and there are a lot more sahms and grandparents etc to care for the children so it isn't a problem for all of them)

As a teacher it can be frustrating to have so many events in school though, as well as for parents. Our head is going a bit OTT at the moment as she's so excited were not in lockdown!

I'm a parent too so understand it all from the other side. My youngest left secondary school in the summer. Her school were pretty good but the headteacher, lovely as she was, couldn't give a concise talk or write a short letter to save her life! Every week she sent out a long newsletter, the first page of which was a load of waffle about what a wonderful week they'd had and the next 4 to 5 were reports on every aspect of the school. Searching though for the hard facts was a major headache. My heart would sink just seeing it arrive in my inbox. Even a trip letter would have half a page explaining why they were going. As a manager myself I do try to be as concise as possible!

AAaaa we baby boomers are even more blessed than I realised. No special days, no parents evenings, no report cards in primary, no dux, homework was spellings and mental arithmetic but we had xmas and halloween parties which I remember to this day. I didn't even realise I'd sat the 11+ until someone assure me I must have quite recently (I remember being tested but didn't know what or why).

I was at primary school 1997-2004 and there definitely were themed days. My mum still has the photo of me dressed as a victorian on her wall

@Youngatheart00

Isn’t it just part of parenting?

This

YANBU it’s one of the reasons I didn’t work when my eldest was at primary school and I still couldn’t cope. Are you in any parents whatsapp groups. When you’re trying to work and then look at your phone and there are 65 unread messages. My mother never had to deal with any of this. Plus constant Facebook photos of the mum coffee mornings you’re missing if you are working.

The people that don't read the letters / check the app. Why would you want your kid to miss out and join in like everyone else?

Mine are 9 and 11 and it's just one of those things you have to do with a school age child.

@monotonousmum

I can only assume that the people asking why I bothered having kids or complaining about my complaining have not received 17 texts from the school this week (plus emails, notes in bag etc) and had to login to 2 new systems (one didn't work as the details were wrong) and taken one admin related phone call. On top of working full time, 2 kids that can't seem to have a week between them where they're not sick, etc.

I'm just saying it's overwhelming. And unexpected.

I'm sure they're all working hard. But as someone else said, you can't just change your process each time someone complains. Explain your process, work out what works for the majority.

It's clear from the responses that I'm not alone.

What I’m taking from is that we shouldn’t bother organising anything that needs messages sent home as life would be simpler for all of us. Parents organise ‘enriching’ and social experiences of their choice at the weekend or in the evening and teachers focus on no-frills delivery of the curriculum during the day.

I approve. Job done.

@Louise5754

The people that don't read the letters / check the app. Why would you want your kid to miss out and join in like everyone else?

Mine are 9 and 11 and it's just one of those things you have to do with a school age child.

You could just as easily ask why the school are planning so many events with the potential to have children left out.

You could just as easily ask why the school are planning so many events with the potential to have children left out.

Because for a lot of kids is the only time they can be part of /experience something. Because parental involvement is something schools must encourage and improve. Because children should have fun at school too. Because learning is not just sitting in a chair, 6 hours a day regurgitating facts.

Don't they just have a school app which you check when you want?

I would choose it a part time start on reception. My daughter possibly has asd or adhd (on a waiting list) and I wonder if starting full time in theSeptember, when she had just turned 4, was too much for her. She’s anAugust birthday and I think she would have been better off part time for the first term, to be honest. She had been breast fed, no cry it out etc, and was a very happy, chilled out little girl, but after starting school, started showing attachment issues and still won’t sleep without me now. At the time, she could swim half a width, but suddenly stopped swimming in her lessons, looking to me at the side, crying for me. I worked 3 days a week, but I still feel I would have managed to get her there or pick her up if I had to.
Also, I think schools can’t win. If they don’t send the messages, parents complain. If they do send them, parents complain.
In does settle down and you do get used to it. It just seems a lot when they first start.

Clearly the school is crap at communications. Is it any good though? I'd worry that a head who cannot control external comms has zero idea of what is going in internally!

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

You could just as easily ask why the school are planning so many events with the potential to have children left out.

Because for a lot of kids is the only time they can be part of /experience something. Because parental involvement is something schools must encourage and improve. Because children should have fun at school too. Because learning is not just sitting in a chair, 6 hours a day regurgitating facts.

I’m a teacher: if you’re relying this heavily on parental involvement to make your lessons interesting, you’re doing it wrong.

Because for a lot of kids is the only time they can be part of /experience something. I don’t even know what this means.

YANBU!
There are quite a few school sites I need to hop on or off to keep up, plus text and emails.
Surely some clever person can bring this all onto one platform.
It would also be great to have a programme at the start of each term. I’ve loss count of the times I've had to jump on Amazon for something which is needed in a matter of days. It’s the lack of organisation from the school which drives me nuts …just feel like I’m being thrown all these things to sort out without much notice and through various communication methods.
When you work full time it can be such a headache to deal with this.

Ledition- no they don't expect everyone to be a sahp but they do expect parents to pick up a sick kid, which I have left work to do. Some of the entitlement on this thread is unbelievable, don't have kids and then spend the next few year complaining about the child care that goes into them. Schools in the main, do an amazing job in difficult circumstances, I'd trying being grateful for what they do for our kids rather than berating them at every turn.

Topsy-turvy, surely emergency buying from amazon would come down to lack of organisation

I’d say secondary is much easier. Barely hear from them. Primary is very much constant.

I like to be updated and involved so I'm happy with as much info as they want to send but I do wish they would standardise where possible - School Jotter, Class Dojo, Satchel 1, Gateway, Squid, Mathswatch, Bedrock, MyEd plus emails. Ping ping ping!
Then because logging in details or info isn't always clear or buried in some text in some other format the WhatsApps groups are going mad. Ping ping ping! It would be good to get the teachers and schools to use the same systems where possible!

One of the issues that concern me the most is now the children of parents who cannot financially keep up with these “demands” feel. Or how their parents feel for that matter.
Imagine sending your child to school and they’re the only ones not sporting an outfit or whatever is required.
I say this as someone who is involved in teaching young adults.
Has a child’s education ever been advanced by having to wear a red outfit on this or that date? No!

When considering events and activities schools should take into consideration how diverse families’ backgrounds are. Not everyone has a spare £10 for an outfit for World Book Day. It’s best to spend those £10 on a book or on a monthly book subscription if you don’t have a public library than dressing up as a character….

@BookishKitten I can answer that for you. It felt bloody awful and caused so much stress. Was a single mum, no financial support from the dad and two at school. Dress in yellow days and stuff like that were awful if you didn't have one already. The kids didn't understand and just were excited to join in. I was on a tight budget with no wiggle room,so having to buy 2 yellow t shirts Even cheap ones meant money from my food budget for the week. So sometimes I went without or just had boiled potatoes. There were no foobanks. Enforced charity giving was a nightmare that would often leave me desperate and in tears.

We are discovering this. It’s texts messages, emails, check the portal, check the website, the Reception parents what’s app...I miss private nursery 😂