To wonder why so many people are so awful to serving/retail staff?

[KevinTheKoala]

Just that really, I am a waitress and have been a retail worker before this and while there have always been horrible customers it genuinley seems to be getting more frequent. Myself and my colleagues are on minimum wage just trying to do our jobs so we really deserve such vitriol? Just yesterday I was given abuse from a very large table of people because they wanted to buy their very young child an age restricted product, then lied to another waitress about how long I had left them waiting (we have a timer on the food we can clearly see how long a table has been waiting) when I had a full section and really was trying my best. I don't think a single day goes by anymore without receiving some sort of abuse or false complaint and its really starting to get me down, are we really so worthless that we deserve to be treated this way? I can't stick up for myself, luckily my managers now are fantastic and will stick up for me but not all managers are. I feel trapped, I dread going to work because people can be so awful (some are lovely but you never know who will be nasty) but I can't afford to not go to work and every job in my pay grade means I will be subjected to some sort of abuse. I m not very resilient I admit that, years of childhood abuse, domestic abuse from previous relationships, bullying etc. Have left me a shell who is petrified of confrontation/dissapointing anybody. Unfortunately NHS doesn't offer much help for that and I can't pay for private therapy because I am on minimum wage and still rely on tips to get by at the end of the month so there isn't alot I can do about my lack of resilience but even so, a that isn't a reason for people to be so vile.

Just saying please and thank you to someone can make all the difference to their day. Apart from being polite it acknowledges that the person is human and doing something, however small, to help you. Treat other people as you would like to be treated yourself is what I try to do on a daily basis.

Companies pit customers and staff against one another to maximise profits.

This is imo, a huge part of the problem. Staff get into trouble for not following the company policies (or laws), but also into trouble if a customer complains about said policy (or law), the staff member has an apology issued on their behalf and then there's freebies and promises of extra training - meaning the customer then feels vindicated in their behaviour. If companies are going to hold staff to ransom over policies then they need to not back down when they're individually challenged, or do away with them and take the hit.

I left hospitality because of the abuse at the hands of the public and a complete lack of concern from anyone to do anything about it. I have been physically assaulted quite a few times. As I got to the end of my time I just became rude and obnoxious back, it was very satisfying and to be honest had far less of a toll on my mental health than being nice, polite and bowing down to someone calling me names, threatening and pointing their finger in my face and swearing and throwing things and acting like I was the one behaving unreasonably. I was in my notice period though and didn't care about hanging onto my job by that point! I even got a couple of apologies from people who'd been entitled arseholes when they realised that their abuse of power wasn't working, proof really that people do this because they think they won't get any repercussions and probably an apology and free stuff for behaving like a twat.

People seem to think that paying for an item or service means they can treat anyone delivering it how they please. One incident I remember was a table of about 12 people and I served them with a colleague. He was deaf and one of his hearing aids had failed, he had to turn his head to hear what was being said.
There were several comments about him being thick and "Durrr" exclamations if he repeated the order to check (good practice anyway) or turned to hear properly and asked them to repeat (which they did in that slow, patronising way) and this was only when he was delivering/clearing because due to this issue, I'd been taking the orders for the tableThe most obnoxious of the group said after this happening a couple of times,something along the lines of "Are you fucking deaf, thick or both?!" To much chortling.
I replied that actually, yes he was and one more comment and they'd be leaving, because I wasn't tolerating abuse and mocking directed towards a member of staff based on their disability, no matter how inconvenient or funny they found it. Total silence and some rather polite people after that.
Mr. Obnoxious came to pay the bill and tried to leave a large tip, I refused the tip point blank and told him that his payment for mocking a member of staff wasn't welcome and suggested he donated it to a charity for those who are hearing impaired, and his name and everyone else's in the party was black listed and they would not get another booking.
Apart from the times I've been shoved, grabbed, pushed and once, slapped, that's the worse I've encountered.
I now work in a dementia unit, and get less abuse!

@gunnersgold

I work in retail and people are fine until they don't get their own way . I declined a return yesterday on a pair of trousers that had obviously been washed ( the smell was so strong ) and the guy went nuts . Thing is he was in the wrong , no tags and clearly washed and I was polite in explaining that .. I actually thing he may have picked up the wrong pair from home and suggested that but it didn't go down well 🤷‍♀️

I once had a woman who bought in her newly deceased husbands trousers for a refund. They must have sitting in the wardrobe for at least 15 years as they had the old brand label on them (think like St Michael for M&S but not that particular one).

It was a bit like that episode of Friends with the sofa. I told her the only thing I could do was give her a gift voucher for a quid. She said no, as she was wanting to to 'donate the money to charity'. Erm, sure you do. Just give em the trews instead then.

I work in a community pharmacy. Most of our customers are absolutely delightful, we have some that bring cake or biscuits... we do have some lovely customers. (I've never worked somewhere that people bring cake before!!)

There are of course the odd nasty ones... the lady who screamed at me that if her child died it would be my fault (the calpol shortage), another the same day who said I could CHOOSE which of her children should die as I would only sell her one bottle of calpol (which a normal person would share between their children should the need arise). A man in a smart business suit who said if he died it was my fault as his prescription hadn't arrived... aspirin... would have cost 58p to buy some to tide him over...

front of house staff (often the lowest paid) bear the brunt of peoples annoyance and frustration when most of the time they have no responsibility for whatever the grievance is. Its easier for people to take it out on the nearest person. Its not ok, and rudeness and superiority is never ok.

I used to work in retail as a student. Customers didn't trust me to take their orders properly or would wait for someone more senior. One guy even brought his own calculator to check I was working the price out properly!

If food takes a long time in a restaurant or is badly cooked, people will have a go at the waiting staff despite the fact they are simply taking the order or carrying the food to the table.
When public transport fails, buses are late, trains are cancelled etc its the bus driver or station staff will get shouted at. Even though none of the problem is their fault.
A shop has run out of something or an item is faulty - the cashier gets the blame.

I work in retail and most customers are lovely regulars. But the abuse is definitely rising. It’s not just the abuse, it’s the entitlement and ‘I’m better than you’ attitudes. One customer came in with 15 torn and crumpled lottery tickets, so it was slower to manually enter each barcode. Then assumed I was incompetent because he didn’t win anything.

We are short staffed and have self service checkouts, people see you’re busy but still insist you serve them, ignoring the self service. It can be awful.

@Stellaris22 I am sorry some treat you badly. But people wanting served instead of using self-service are not doing anything wrong. Some people cant use them. Some people with pre senile dementia or learning difficulties cant even work out how much money to give and rely on handing over large notes.
I think many don't realise just how many people because of cognitive issues cant handle anything new.

I get that, but people will tell you that they just refuse to use them. Some people say they insist you serve them so they can talk to you. It’s the fact that a lot of shops are short staffed, so when you have limited time to put frozen/chilled food away and have to stop constantly to serve people. A lot of it is entitlement and customers insisting you serve them unnecessarily.

Recognising shops are short staffed would be helpful. In an ideal world every customer would get served, most staff would love to have friendly interaction (we get complimented by customers where I work). But really, paying by contactless for one pint of milk isn’t the best use of staff time when busy.

@gunnersgold

I work in retail and people are fine until they don't get their own way . I declined a return yesterday on a pair of trousers that had obviously been washed ( the smell was so strong ) and the guy went nuts . Thing is he was in the wrong , no tags and clearly washed and I was polite in explaining that .. I actually thing he may have picked up the wrong pair from home and suggested that but it didn't go down well 🤷‍♀️

Had a bloke once raging at me because we wouldn't refund a camera that he said was broken, this camera had screws missing from it and he'd already told me that he'd taken it apart himself. Though he quickly changed his story and tried to claim the screws just fell out on their own. It's always the ones who are trying their luck who get the angriest.