To want to leave teaching now I’m a parent

[Mistygreyrain]

I hate the lack of flexibility. I just am really struggling so don’t flame me. I can’t take a day of leave when I need to, can’t take an afternoon or morning off. I hate it. Or am I being an idiot?

It's crap.

But what would you do?

Why would you be an idiot? Flexibility is needed with kids. Teaching pays but it's difficult with a young family. I'm the same. We've decided for me to take a part time income supplementing job and for my husband to continue with his career. We're in this together so we make it work, together.

I get the lack of flexibility issue I have no flexibility in my job and it is a pain. But from a kids in school perspective you won’t have to deal with the nightmare that is childcare in the holidays. That’s 13 weeks of childcare your will have to find with only 6 weeks of leave in most jobs. So if that’s the only reason to leave teaching don’t do it.

Yep it's hard. That's why I went part time (0.6). I went to see my head early in my mat leave and said that if I stayed full time I'd either be a crap teacher or a crap parent - and I didn't want to be either.
Luckily I had a head who was supportive and allowed me to go part time rather than leave.
Best of luck with finding what works for you.

The problem is with other jobs is not having enough leave to cover school holidays.

Part-time offer works quite well for me.

All the holidays off and leaves room to (sometimes) move days around or make up days if I need to be off with the children for illness/ assemblies etc

When I had my daughter (1980 s) teaching was a parent friendly job, it is much less so now, particularly in an Academy. The only good part is being available in the school holidays but if you can easily make child care arrangements to cover this and can find another job then go for it.

I am a teachers and I know what you mean. Yes it is really hard when they are ill/have activities, special assemblies etc and you cannot take time off to be there. Also lack of flexibility to do drop off/pick up but the school holidays are a massive bonus.

I didn't go back after having DS1, I didn't want to teach full time, I wanted to be able to go to his nativities etc Having said that if I had the option to go part time, I would have done that. At the time DH was also studying for professional exams on top of working full time so he had little flexibility as well.

Sadly I think the lack of flexibility is in most jobs. I’m a teacher and although it is hard it’s not as hard for me personally as some of my friends who work in the city full time, their hours are longer and in emergencies they obviously need much longer to get to the school. I thunk the ideal would be to work part time in any job but that’s down to what you can afford. Supply teaching is a good balance, you could do four days a week and take days off as you need to.

YABU it's the same in most jobs but we also have to cover school holidays too.

You could only manage supply if you had family or partner who could step in for childcare at a moments notice though surely?

I have flexibility but I only have 5 weeks of holiday a year so whichever way you slice the cake parents are fucked. The issue isnt the job, it's having little to no family help- I relate.

It is tough but so useful once dc are at school themselves. I couldn’t do it full time though.

But it is amazing to have the holidays off together so worth sticking out for that if you can.

My friend did supply when her twins were booked in nursery i.e. she was only available certain days. Her DH took them to nursery those days and she picked them up.

What would you do instead? YANBU though, it makes me laugh when people suggest teaching is family friendly. DH is a teacher and has zero flexibility so I have to handle all the drop offs, pick ups, appointments etc.

Problem with that is if you don’t get a day you don’t get paid. So you lose money.

I left teaching before I had my DD and I don't regret it at all. I still work with children but in a non-educstion setting. Marginally less money take home and a lot more time at home with my family. If your priority is your career OP then I would say don't leave but if your priority is time with your family I would say go for it. I have a few teacher friends who have done the same and no regrets from them either.

I honestly don’t know what I’d do instead. But I feel wrung out.

Pros and cons. Have a look at transferable skills and types of job you’d be able to get. A lot of jobs you have to book annual leave weeks or months in advance so it’s not as easy as book a day off tomorrow. Some employers make it difficult to book of half days so you can’t go for interviews to escape them.
The 13 weeks holiday is very attractive especially if you are a parent - 5 weeks inc bank hols is hard to stretch.
Teachers pay can often be higher than jobs requiring similar qualifications plus remember to check if jobs inc sick pay and how much pension is too. People who’ve been public sector don’t often realise lots of jobs are ssp only.
If you still like teaching part time or tutoring may suit.

If you had a different job how would you cope with the school holidays?

I don’t have school aged children yet. And I don’t know. All I do know is it feels relentless and miserable. Yes good holidays but when you had five days and they’ve all been spent on catching your own tail then you’ve seven weeks till the next it just doesn’t seem that great!

I didn't go back after dc1, i maybe would've if there was scope for part time but couldn't see if working if I was to work full time. Now pregnant with dc3 and I really miss it but I don't miss the stress and everything that came with it

YANBU. DH and I were both teachers and gave it up after having children. It's not just the inflexibility, it's the amount of work you have to do outside of school hours, I struggled to switch off and actually enjoy spending time with my own children. You could go part time or look for something else, most office jobs have some degree of flexibility so you can actually go to school plays and parents evenings for a change. I now work in the civil service for a lot more money, I have 100% flexibility and can wfh when I like. You will have to think about school hols though but I still think the trade off is worth it.

My relative switched to supply teaching and only works the days her DC is at nursery and does some private tutoring in the evenings when her DH is home from his job. Works well for them.