To want to leave teaching now I’m a parent

[Mistygreyrain]

I hate the lack of flexibility. I just am really struggling so don’t flame me. I can’t take a day of leave when I need to, can’t take an afternoon or morning off. I hate it. Or am I being an idiot?

I think some of the particular stress about teaching is that you are dealing with children all day and then are doing more "working with children" with your own children at evenings and weekends. There is no break from a small person demanding that you make them the centre of attention.
It is relentlessly demanding in the way that only children can be(!) and it can end up with your own children getting a less good version of yourself than the children you teach do.
I was a child of a teacher growing up in the good old days of the 1970s and often felt that the children she taught got the best of her energy and focus. She became a different person when we went on holiday in the summer and actually sometimes played with us!

All work reasonable hours. They don't work in the holidays

Betcha don't know all they do do, I certainly don't go shouting about the times I'm not in bed till 1am, or the times I've been in school during half term to set up things ready for a new topic. Why would you bother telling anyone about that? And if it's that they don't work holidays because they're always free at the drop of a hat to go do something, that will be being made up for at some other time, like after the kids have gone to bed.

Teachers aren't saints and don't necessarily work harder or longer than any other profession, but it is worth considering that all might not be quite as it seems.

I honestly advise 0.6 whilst they're little or as long as you can. I guess I was lucky in that I had parental leave for a few important assemblies/mass. Never made a sports day though but other family members did. I was also paid when I had to take days off when DC poorly. I've had all the holidays with the DC. Time has flown and they're now at Secondary and I'm ready to go full time.
Carefully consider your options long term.

@Lancrelady80

All work reasonable hours. They don't work in the holidays

Betcha don't know all they do do, I certainly don't go shouting about the times I'm not in bed till 1am, or the times I've been in school during half term to set up things ready for a new topic. Why would you bother telling anyone about that? And if it's that they don't work holidays because they're always free at the drop of a hat to go do something, that will be being made up for at some other time, like after the kids have gone to bed.

Teachers aren't saints and don't necessarily work harder or longer than any other profession, but it is worth considering that all might not be quite as it seems.

@Lancrelady80

I can only speak for the people I know. We have discussed / compared working hours on a number of occasions

Happy to accept that some teachers work longer hours, but on MN, there seems to be a school of thought that all teachers have it worse than anyone else and I do gently challenge that from time to time

Problem is my school doesn’t offer full days off.

So if I’m in every day part time is not really that appealing. Nursery costs are higher, can’t do much with the children.

But how is that relevant here @notanothertakeaway

Ok leave then and then pay £150 per week for childcare camps/clubs during summer holidays or resign yourself to not having a family holiday as you'll need to split holidays with your partner 🤷🏻‍♀️
(I can't take half days off either whenever I feel like it because all my annual leave needs to cover school Holidays)

I'm currently weighing up what I'd rather have:
-the school holidays, much of which I spend working anyway
OR
-evenings, weekends and a regular annual leave plus bank holidays package

I'm thinking that if I put as a conservative estimate that I work 25% of my weekends and a couple of hours most evenings in the week for 39 weeks, and 25% of the school holidays, I will probably be just as well off with a regular job, enjoying free evenings and weekends.

Not sure why you are being an arsehole to me @tiggerwhocamefortea, it doesn’t affect you does it?

I know there are shit aspects to a lot of jobs but laying into me because of school holidays which won’t even be a consideration for 4 more years isn’t on.

I disagree with all those saying leave unless you’re actually fed up with the job. I’ve carried on with three children - full time- and although there were times when it was full on I’m now really glad I did. I’ve generally worked in busy but supportive schools. My youngest is now 17 and it’s great to have a satisfying job now that they no longer need me in the same way. I’ve got a decent pension building up and it allowed me to manage my divorce more smoothly too.

@Mistygreyrain
I wasn't being mean just stating the obvious? Nothing more than anyone else has said about having to pay for childcare during holidays? You complain about lack of flexibility I'm just pointing out that working a non teaching job is actually the same if not less flexible, less holiday, less pension, and more hours - lots of people work evenings and weekends and holidays for no extra pay

@WholeClassKeptIn

Lots and lots of teachers leave for a better work life balance.... 🙄. Read all the threads on here....

I know that’s true but it doesn’t always have to be like that. I work in a busy, academic, independent day school. I started when my DCs were 18 months, 6 and 10 and I’m still there 17 years later. I’m very efficient and don’t do much work in the evenings and weekends except reading and thinking - I’m trusted to do my job and not minutely scrutinised and so it’s worked really well.

It’s a tough one. People say teaching is brilliant ‘when you have kids’ but the inflexible nature of it during term time does make it hard. Yes the holidays are good but I know not one teacher who doesn’t work for at least a decent chunk of the holidays! I honestly wouldn’t recommend teaching to my kids now. It’s so different to what it used to be. Could you go part time?

Taught for 15 years but now stay at home mum. Supply teaching pay is shocking compared to normal teaching

All in all I think it's worth it for the holidays. I've seen friends really struggle to get that covered and there aren't many employers that will have the flexibility to allow you to attend all these things. I'm not sure that any job is ideal tbh.

@Mistygreyrain

Problem is my school doesn’t offer full days off.

So if I’m in every day part time is not really that appealing. Nursery costs are higher, can’t do much with the children.

It sounds like teaching could work in a new school. I can honestly say i've not heard of a blanket policy like that before, so it seems a bit drastic to end your career because of your experience in that school. I know loads of part time teachers.

No way DH would have been able to do al child care in the school holidays, and different inset days, school plays, special assembly's etc. He'd have missed 99% of those. It does to a degree depend what you do when leaving teaching, but DH now takes the kids to after school clubs, sees their plays etc.

I don’t think it’s a blanket policy, just the way it works out in my department. Secondary PT jobs are like hens teeth.

I am a teacher and taught when my kids were younger.
I could not give up the long holidays with them.
Drop a day or cut hours?

Most full time jobs feel impossible when your children are young. I’m an academic and after my second child had to do 7 international trips in one year. It totally and completely destroyed my mental health. I had some flexibility but not over the big things. If you liked your job re children might be worth taking the time. But if you didn’t exploring your options is probably worth while. My kids are both well into primary school and things are so much more manageable.

It depends where you work and what your Head is like. I’ve been able to get the time off for Christmas plays and sports day every year. When i have a wedding to go to as well. You only get three separate paid days for a sick child, but that’s been enough so far, with DH taking time and support from our parents too. With the holidays, and being able to be home by 4.15 most days ( even though I spend my evening working once the DC are in bed), it’s one of the most family friendly jobs I think. I say this as a full-time head of department too and I went back full-time after each DC when they were 7 months.

Look for another job or job share if you want 3 days not half days. Some schools must offer it. If you are in an in demand subject apply for full time and negotiate. Nursery you should be able to pay by session so eg pay morning and lunch if you are only working mornings

In my school you would end up working five days a week for three days pay. So it isn’t really worth it.

@Mistygreyrain

I don’t think it’s a blanket policy, just the way it works out in my department. Secondary PT jobs are like hens teeth.

If it's not a blanket policy then it's surely worth at least putting in a flexible working request to work four days a week - what is there to lose?

DH is a teacher who works four days a week and loads of his colleagues told him there was no point applying because they'd never approve it (a few said that SLT wouls never let a man work part-time ). They were wrong.