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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to leave teaching now I’m a parent

127 replies

Mistygreyrain · 08/11/2021 15:46

I hate the lack of flexibility. I just am really struggling so don’t flame me. I can’t take a day of leave when I need to, can’t take an afternoon or morning off. I hate it. Or am I being an idiot?

OP posts:
dootball · 08/11/2021 17:24

DO you have the balance of a partner in a 'normal' hours job and you with teacher hours? That works for us!

gogohm · 08/11/2021 17:27

Most jobs lack flexibility! 5 weeks holiday if you are lucky and often no sick pay etc. Once kids are in school how will you cover the holidays? At least with teaching you get most of the school holidays off (perhaps bar a few inset days)

Helbelle75 · 08/11/2021 17:27

I didn't go back after my second maternity leave and have never regretted it.
I found 2 jobs almost straight away, both of them playing to my strengths and something I really enjoy. I earn around the same as my 0.4 teacher salary and am much happier. I can work around school pick up and drop offs, have Fridays off for any Assemblies and I get most of the school holidays too.
Have a look around and see what jobs are out there.

Moonbabysmum · 08/11/2021 17:29

A lot of couples user up all of their actual left covering holidays so they get virtually no family time together. Or they rely on holiday clubs a lot. Sometimes all of these, just to cover it. So in the future, I think sticking it out may be worth it. I'd think about going part time.

Don't presume that you'll have evenings and weekends to yourself in another job either.

Certainly, I work most evenings (sometimes until gone 11pm), often at the weekends, and take a very small amount of holiday. But thankfully i have flexibility about when I work.

Lots of other people have to book holiday so far in advance, or jump through so many hoops that you so won't be going to those school shows, so if you do left, pick your next job carefully!!

notanothertakeaway · 08/11/2021 17:33

@saraclara

It's swings and roundabouts. My nurse daughter would kill for predictability, and a job that fits into nursery hours, which her shifts absolutely don't. And when my DHD starts school, her childcare is going to be insanely difficult to arrange, both in and out of holidays

As a teacher I was very grateful to know a year in advance when I could book my holidays, to not have to worry about holiday childcare, and to be able to fit my non-contact hours around family life.
But I disliked the inflexibility, the missing out on assemblies etc (though I was lucky enough to work part time when my kids were younger primary age) and various other bits.

Basically the grass always seems greener, but any move could find you out of the frying pan into the fire. So think it through carefully.

Agree with this

I think one teacher / one not, is a good combination. One can cover school holidays, other does in service days, sports days etc

And I say this with kindness, trying to be helpful, but it's worth remembering that most professional roles involve working more than your contracted hours, often without generous sick pay, pension etc. If you leave teaching, you won't necessarily find a better work / life balance elsewhere

MrsTophamHat · 08/11/2021 17:34

I don't think all schools are the same. My son started reception in September and they let me come in late so that I could take him on his first day. Of course I couldn't be there for everything i'd like but surely that is true of many jobs, particularly public facing ones.

Having said that, having more flexibility with staffing in schools would help with retention.

WholeClassKeptIn · 08/11/2021 17:35

Holiday clubs are fine though. It's the working in the evenings each night and constant stress that did it for me. I wish I jumped ship and retrained earlier though.

So many teacher friends drop to part time (so full time during term time but evenings and weekends freed up) or quit. So many threads on here for ex teachers...

WholeClassKeptIn · 08/11/2021 17:36

Lots and lots of teachers leave for a better work life balance.... 🙄. Read all the threads on here....

SeekingBalance · 08/11/2021 17:43

Same boat!
I'm dabbling between going back to my roots with early years, a preschool. Or, tutoring childcare at a college, doing mainly the assessing side of things.
I die on the inside when people think teaching is all rainbows and the comments about having the holidays off drive me potty, because we all know that no teacher has the full holiday entitlement. There's planning to do, reports to write, classrooms to organise etc not to mention the parents evenings, school fetes and discos.
Go with your gut with your decision, if you have some financial flexibility.

MrsTophamHat · 08/11/2021 17:43

Some teachers also do it to themselves and have poor boundaries.

I work 4 days teaching a core GCSE subject with two children under 5. I know when to say enough is enough and therefore my balance is manageable. There are people in my department who burn themselves out doing more than they need to and being a bit perfectionist about things.

PurpleOkapi · 08/11/2021 17:45

YANBU, but I think you're overestimating how much flexibility most other jobs have. None will line up with school holidays, and most won't give several full weeks off at Christmas to everyone who asks. If the choice is between teaching and not working, then do whatever is best for yourself if you can afford it. But if the choice is between teaching and working some other job, I don't think the other job will be an improvement.

bizboz · 08/11/2021 17:49

DH and I are both full-time teachers with primary-aged children. Term times are hideous, especially of one of them are I'll and we are both tossing the coin for who has to annoy their headteacher most that day. In holidays we are all off which is lovely but almost an excess of childcare all in one go. I have decided that the ideal situation would be one of us teaching and the other in non-teaching work from home job! Not sure where we are going to conjure one of those up from though....

bizboz · 08/11/2021 17:51

if one of them are ill should say

hangrylady · 08/11/2021 17:58

At least you don't have to worry about school holidays. Not sure where you think all of these flexible jobs are.

Moonbabysmum · 08/11/2021 18:00

Term times are hideous, especially of one of them are I'll and we are both tossing the coin for who has to annoy their headteacher most that day

Isn't that the case for the vast majority of people working though. Most people have to do the toss up, even those who wfh.

Original poster
Mistygreyrain · 08/11/2021 18:01

But I teach.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 08/11/2021 18:02

I’d love to know what other people are now doing, that gets them the same amount of pay and a better work/life balance? I’m 4 days and it’s still killing me, but I love having the holidays and I love working with children.

I’m really saddened to read of the 18 year old saying that he feels he lost his childhood 😢 can he say why?

Hankunamatata · 08/11/2021 18:04

Depends on school. If primary/ secondary. My primary recognises that they are parents as well as teachers so head covers so teachers can nip out to kids assemblies and school plays but this is probably rare.

BitterTits · 08/11/2021 18:06

@Larryyourwaiter

The problem is with other jobs is not having enough leave to cover school holidays.
Yes, this. I'm back in teaching, partly because I couldn't make NHS annual leave stretch.
notanothertakeaway · 08/11/2021 18:07

@SeekingBalance

Same boat! I'm dabbling between going back to my roots with early years, a preschool. Or, tutoring childcare at a college, doing mainly the assessing side of things. I die on the inside when people think teaching is all rainbows and the comments about having the holidays off drive me potty, because we all know that no teacher has the full holiday entitlement. There's planning to do, reports to write, classrooms to organise etc not to mention the parents evenings, school fetes and discos. Go with your gut with your decision, if you have some financial flexibility.
Plenty of teachers in my family. All work reasonable hours. They don't work in the holidays
WholeClassKeptIn · 08/11/2021 18:09

Holiday clubs?

AssemblySquare · 08/11/2021 18:10

I’m a teacher and find drop off/pick up as tricky as any other working parent. Same in the holidays… mine don’t match with my DCs always and staff days obviously mean I’m in work and they need childcare. Like all jobs teaching is not child friendly. Sorry OP YANBU

Lancrelady80 · 08/11/2021 18:11

If you can get it, part time mornings only is a good gig. You then have the afternoons to do planning and prep, so your evenings and weekends become your own again, and there is more time to be Mummy.

SirGawain · 08/11/2021 18:11

Have you thought about supply teaching?

StripyHorse · 08/11/2021 18:12

I only started teaching when my children were in school, after a couple of years juggling childcare around holidays.

I imagine it feels more inflexible with pre-schoolers because most people DO have flexibility then (within work annual leave patterns etc).

When they are school age it really is swings and roundabouts... fantastic not to worry about childcare (as long as both schools have same holidays) but crap when it comes to missing your own childrens' assemblies, sports days, concerts etc. Some schools are obviously better than others at letting you go to those events... the head in my last school was very disapproving when I wanted to miss one of 3 evening performances of the nativity to see my own daughter in her nativity (only doing one evening performance). She was particularly inflexible though!

I suppose what I am saying is YANBU but it once your children hit school age it can have its advantages.