If you're off with sick, is it crass to flood SM with pictures of what you're up to?

[MakeMineALarge1]

Just that really.

I work in a place that currently has a high incidents of stress and we have up to 20 people off with work related stress.

Now I get going for walks, out for lunch etc, can be great for you, but is it crass to put pictures on of all your weekends away, decorating your house and nights out?

@Thestreets

I think I would be more concerned with a work place that currently has 20 people off with work related stress...I would find it difficult to judge one of these 20 staff members for what they post on SM. Is anybody looking into the reasons for such a high number of work related stress??

Spot on. You don't say what the size of the workforce/what percentage of the staff this represents, but on the face of it this is an extremely high level of work-related stress. If it is that high, a lot of other people are likely to be suffering even if not currently off sick.

Your management should be looking into wellbeing concerns affecting their staff rather than focusing its efforts on catching out individuals. It sounds as if the workplace and work culture could be the sickest thing there.

Oh fgs there's all kinds of group chats y'know. Must everyone cut themselves off from sm in case they are faced with someone's fun and partying whilst off sick 🙄

Where did I say everyone should cut themselves off from SM. I said why would anyone have colleagues on their SM if they are not friends irl. The only chat group (Whatsapp), I am on that includes colleagues is the one on the work phone. They have no idea what I post on social media and vice versa. As far as I am aware nobody has cut themselves off of SM.

If some people have gone from never posting on social media to suddenly being off sick and posting every few days I can somewhat agree with those saying at least hide it from colleagues, but I imagine the majority of the people regularly posting on social media when signed off regularly posted things on social media when they were well too.

When I was signed off work I didn’t tell the majority of my friends and family, there is still stigma around mental health issues and also I didn’t want to worry them. I had phone conversations with my mum where I pretended I was still at work. I don’t really use social media so didn’t feel the need to post anything to maintain a facade of still being fine but I can see how somebody who posts multiple times a week might not want to suddenly go silent just because they are signed off as they may not want to alert all of their followers to their mental health difficulties. Obviously colleagues will know they are off sick so it might seem crass but that doesn’t mean all of their other followers know, social media isn’t really about posting the truth/ real life it’s far more about keeping up appearances and some people may feel the need to do so even more whilst off sick than normally to try and hide what is really going on in their lives from the world.

Just because somebody is able to post a smiling photo of a day out/ holiday/ household renovation project doesn’t mean they were smiling throughout the trip or even that they followed through with the renovation, sometimes it will just be about posting something to hide their reality from their followers.

“ Just because somebody is able to post a smiling photo of a day out/ holiday/ household renovation project doesn’t mean they were smiling throughout the trip or even that they followed through with the renovation, sometimes it will just be about posting something to hide their reality from their followers.”

But you don’t have to post anything!

'there is still stigma around mental health issues'

There really isn't, I'd say quite the opposite.

@JaniieJones

'there is still stigma around mental health issues'

There really isn't, I'd say quite the opposite.

I'd say your comments particularly on this thread show just how much of a stigma there still is.

'Just because somebody is able to post a smiling photo of a day out/ holiday/ household renovation project doesn’t mean they were smiling throughout the trip'

Of course. No one disputes you can post on sm when off sick just use your common sense and don't post wild partying pics if half your followers are colleagues.

On the whole I think it is.

It's one of those areas of life where those working in the public sector have no idea what it's like for people in the private sector/on zero hours contracts/the freelance and self-employed who have to find a way to work around stress and mh problems.

[quote Unsure33]@XenoBitch

really ? Gosh I must have been a wicked mother then because if my children were ill enough to be off school they were not allowed to play computer games or go out to play .

My dad had an extremely hard job and was out in all weathers and worked from 5am in the morning and I NEVER remember him having a day off sick .
I cant think of an illness where you would be off but ok to go out to a nightclub until 3am

please enlighten me .[/quote]
If you honestly can't think of anything, then I would say you are blessed.

@Riverlee

“ Just because somebody is able to post a smiling photo of a day out/ holiday/ household renovation project doesn’t mean they were smiling throughout the trip or even that they followed through with the renovation, sometimes it will just be about posting something to hide their reality from their followers.”

But you don’t have to post anything!

Their SM, so they can post what they want. Don't like it? Don't follow it.

@AutumnInBustletown

I agree it's tactless. And when I've been off work with anxiety and depression I've always been so unwell that things like decorating were beyond my capacity.

But that’s just you. We are all ill in different ways and we all cope with it in different ways. Some people call in sick with a cold. Others carry on working. Depression has many different faces. Just because you couldn’t decorate it or and the house, doesn’t mean everyone with depression is the same. As someone else says, they are off work, not off life. If someone from my workplace was off with stress (and it does happen), I would be pleased to see them doing something that helps them relieve stress. I would hate to think they were crying alone in a darkened room.

@Riverlee

“ Just because somebody is able to post a smiling photo of a day out/ holiday/ household renovation project doesn’t mean they were smiling throughout the trip or even that they followed through with the renovation, sometimes it will just be about posting something to hide their reality from their followers.”

But you don’t have to post anything!

No, but if you were posting several pictures a day/ week when you were well you might not feel able to just stop posting because you’re unwell with mental health issues. Some will feel like they need to keep up the facade as otherwise people will be wondering why they’ve stopped posting and start asking questions they don’t want to answer. It could feel easier to just keep pretending all is fine and keep posting regularly than to stop.

Obviously if you don’t post on social media regularly it might seem obvious to just not post anything because in your case nobody would notice but for people who post regularly it might not feel as easy to just stop posting.

If the people who are posting regularly whilst signed off with sickness never posted anything on social media whilst well I can understand thinking they could just not post but I would think that the majority were regular SM posters before their sickness and that just because their colleagues known they’re off sick doesn’t mean they want the rest of their followers to guess they’re not okay.

I love the mental gymnastics going on in places. As if some people actually have the view it's fine (in their entirely unqualified opinion with no detailed knowledge of someone's circumstances) to be off work and doing A, B, C, but you shouldn't post about about fact you've done A, B, C in case it annoys colleagues.
They say they're not judgey and it's insensitive, but that means they're the same people who would see a colleague doing A, B or C and go back moaning about how their colleague can't possibly be that unwell if they're going out and about the public where they might be seen.

The problem with mental health issues is that there's always some people who know a fraction of what's going on in someone's life, but for some reason think they are capable of assessing what is/isn't OK to do on sick leave and demand the person who is mentally unwell should centre everyone else's feelings.

@LolaSmiles i disagree with that interpretation. If someone I know is off work with a terrible cold or an injury for instance, I would expect them to be tucked up in bed, resting, reading, watching a bit of TV.

However, them posting a picture of themselves tucked up with a cuppa and their favourite box set saying they've had a relaxing, lovely day, while I've been covering their work as well as my own, might make me a bit .

Now, for longer term sick absence I'm not suggesting that people lock themselves away but there might be a bit of though given as to what is, and is not, appropriate to share with every single person who has access to your social media.

MrsTophamHat
But why shouldn't they?
I'm not a fan of putting everything on social media, but if someone is doing something that's perfectly reasonable in line with their sick note, why is it their responsibility to focus on their colleagues' feelings. If there's issues at work that's down to the managers to sort.

I've had my workload doubled when a colleague was off sick, but the responsibility for that was with my managers, not my colleague. As it happens, I also left that workplace and have remained in touch with the colleague ever since.

Didn’t we have one of these the other day? That OP discovered she got it wrong. Which is funny because up til that point she swore she was right.

None of your business.

[quote MrsTophamHat]@LolaSmiles i disagree with that interpretation. If someone I know is off work with a terrible cold or an injury for instance, I would expect them to be tucked up in bed, resting, reading, watching a bit of TV.

However, them posting a picture of themselves tucked up with a cuppa and their favourite box set saying they've had a relaxing, lovely day, while I've been covering their work as well as my own, might make me a bit .

Now, for longer term sick absence I'm not suggesting that people lock themselves away but there might be a bit of though given as to what is, and is not, appropriate to share with every single person who has access to your social media. [/quote]
I sort of agree if somebody is only off for a few days, it does seem unnecessary to post what you are doing in that case. But in the case of some long term conditions or illnesses people may be off for weeks or even months. If you’re used to posting on SM regularly then that is a long time to stay off it and to feel like you can’t share any events you are taking part in just because your colleagues might see and could make a person who is struggling feel even more isolated.

If a colleague was signed off long-term with an illness such as cancer would you feel the same about them posting photos of days out with friends or work they were going on the house? My experience has been with that sort of illness people are more likely to go the other way and encourage the person to take holidays and days out and do as much ‘memory making’ as they can and yet the stigma is such with mental illness that the expectation here is that the unwell person hide away and avoid anybody from seeing the areas of their life where they are able to stick to some kind of normality.

MolkosTeenageAngst
That's how I feel. If someone is signed off then they're signed off. Sometimes I'll know why, others I won't.

One of my former colleagues had several weeks off following a miscarriage. It wasn't common knowledge, but to my mind only an arsehole would decide they knew more about their circumstances than the person concerned. If they posted going out for a meal, it wouldn't cross my mind to be annoyed because common sense kicks in.

I've also known people have extended leave due to losing both parents in a short period of time, being driven close to a breakdown due to work, and perinatal mental health issues. To sit at home getting annoyed at what someone posts on social media seems like a waste of mental energy to me.

'I'd say your comments particularly on this thread show just how much of a stigma there still is.'

Bollocks. Those with genuine mh issues should have support and treatment as necessary.

This thread is about those on longterm sick, for whatever reason be it stress or back ache, posting about their excessive socialising. There is a sick note culture in this country, enabled by the 6mths full pay employees like the nhs provides.

I think with everything, there is a level of what is socially acceptable to post online. There are plenty of things that wouldn't make me bat an eyelid if someone was off work on LTS, but things like lots of boozy rowdy parties and active trips away would seem a bit crass I think.

As i said, i don't believe that anyone should shut themselves away and never post a thing. A colleague of mine has been off for ever a year and posts probably weekly about something she has done with her children, or a day trip etc but she's not making out that she's living it large or partying every weekend. Neither is she captioning her posts as though she is off work on her holidays.

I just think there are some people who have very little filter, and we all do need to consider how the things we post about ourselves and others is being perceived, and do so mindfully.

@JaniieJones

'I'd say your comments particularly on this thread show just how much of a stigma there still is.'

Bollocks. Those with genuine mh issues should have support and treatment as necessary.

This thread is about those on longterm sick, for whatever reason be it stress or back ache, posting about their excessive socialising. There is a sick note culture in this country, enabled by the 6mths full pay employees like the nhs provides.

The thread isn't actually about that though - it's about people posting about their weekends away and decorating the house, in a place where loads of people are off sick.

I find it crass because posting about what a great time you're having on sick leave (of any sort) is strange to me. Implying that you love being off sick. It's macabre. But then again I don't like social media and think that anybody who floods social media with photos is crass anyway. Maybe I'm just too old for this

Some have also asked why should anyone care what anyone thinks of what they post on social media.

By the very nature of the act of posting a particular image, you want (at least some of the) people who follow you on social media to have an opinion about it.

People who do genuinely do not care about other people's opinions, would not post publicly in the first place.

I would be really pissed off if a work colleague did this.

@MrsTophamHat

I think with everything, there is a level of what is socially acceptable to post online. There are plenty of things that wouldn't make me bat an eyelid if someone was off work on LTS, but things like lots of boozy rowdy parties and active trips away would seem a bit crass I think.

As i said, i don't believe that anyone should shut themselves away and never post a thing. A colleague of mine has been off for ever a year and posts probably weekly about something she has done with her children, or a day trip etc but she's not making out that she's living it large or partying every weekend. Neither is she captioning her posts as though she is off work on her holidays.

I just think there are some people who have very little filter, and we all do need to consider how the things we post about ourselves and others is being perceived, and do so mindfully.

Yes, it's about how the post is presented. Posting photos of a random mountain on weekend away, yeah just a mountain. Posting 'having the time of my life with these lads!' is a bit If mental illness is supposed to be treated the same as physical illness then people would have the same reaction to both wouldn't they? Saying that you're having a great time being sick is odd.

I know posters will be along to say that it's nitpicky and judgey to decide than A wording is acceptable and B is not but it's just the tone of the posts.

@MrsTophamHat

Some have also asked why should anyone care what anyone thinks of what they post on social media.

By the very nature of the act of posting a particular image, you want (at least some of the) people who follow you on social media to have an opinion about it.

People who do genuinely do not care about other people's opinions, would not post publicly in the first place.

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