If someone said "mid to late morning" to you, what time would you think that was?

[OhamIreally]

Making contact arrangements with ex for after Christmas (so not imminently firming up plans IYSWIM).
Told ex I would be able to drop off at a mid-way point mid-late morning.
He's now asked for a "rough time" so he can plan his departure time.

AIBU that I have already give a rough time?

It's odd isn't it, someone asked me to go round mid morning, I said lovely see you tomorrow and she said yes around 11.30! This is late morning in my mind and 10-10.30 is mid morning. Too much interpretation

No one has missed it.

Eh?

Firstly, how can you presume to speak for everyone?

And also, if people are aware she's going to firm the time up, nearer the day, why are people suggesting things like that get ex will have to sit about for 2 hours waiting for her? That makes no sense.

@LiveForeverHappily

In my head it would be 10-30 to 11:30 so was interesting to see what other people thought.

So if that was in your head, why not tell him that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well yes, people can't mind read.

It appears I'm a cunt however.

Oh OP, it's MN we all are.

I'd think it could mean any time between 10 and about 11.45 really. It seems reasonable for him to want you to say more clearly what you mean.

I don't want to give a specific time yet as have other people/logistics to consider around setting off times and once those are in place I can give an actual time. I thought a rough time 7weeks in advance would be sufficient for interim planning purposes.

But you already have a rough time in your head so tell him that time. If you're already thinking 10.30-11.30 then realistically that's unlikely to change as you'll be subconsciously arranging plans around that time as you already have it in your head.

[quote OhamIreally]@Bluntness100 I think "cunty" is a bit of a reach.
Ex is delighted I'm shaving 150 miles off his round trip by agreeing to meet at this drop off point.

I don't want to give a specific time yet as have other people/logistics to consider around setting off times and once those are in place I can give an actual time. I thought a rough time 7weeks in advance would be sufficient for interim planning purposes.

It appears I'm a cunt however.[/quote]
Maybe he has logistics to consider too?

The phrase I nearly typed in an earlier post was ‘a bit of a dick’ it does feel like you’re being difficult for the sake of it

@invisiblecats

No one has missed it.

Eh?

Firstly, how can you presume to speak for everyone?

And also, if people are aware she's going to firm the time up, nearer the day, why are people suggesting things like that get ex will have to sit about for 2 hours waiting for her? That makes no sense.

But he has to not make any arrangements himself for the morning because he has no idea whether she means 9am or 12am - why not just tell him the time frame in her head? It’s not her PIN number!

If the roles were reversed, he would would be accused of being controlling, give him a time and do your best to stick to it, and stop using your child(ren) as pawns.

For me, mid-morning is around 9.30-10. Late morning anywhere up to 11.55! This is a pretty big window of time and I'd want something much more specific so that I could plan my day!

YABU and I suspect that you know this!

In my head it would be 10-30 to 11:30

Then why not say that, instead of mid to late morning?

Mid to late morning is 10.30 to 11 in my opinion. But I would want an exact time. I would aim to arrive 10/15 minutes before the agreed time and I would expect the other party to do the same.

I am wondering if you are ex partners because of communication issues.

it does feel like you’re being difficult for the sake of it

I agree. OP had told randoms on mumsnet that she’s thinking 10.30-11.30 but for some reason had only told her ex mid-late morning.

@Bluntness100

I didn’t say you were a cunt I said you were being cunty. And it’s Xmas, the man has to travel a long way, so get your act together as mid to late morning as you’ve seen could be anything between 9.30 and 11.30 ans he equally has stuff to sort.

If you read my OP you will see that I said the contact was for after Christmas.

Anyway there we are I have been unreasonable and I will bow down to the collective Mumsnet wisdom on this one.

*note I admit to being unreasonable not cunty.

In response to other questions about contact, it's intermittent and irregular and he has a history of making elaborate plans far in advance which I try to accommodate and which then change.

For instance he spent 2 years planning a big family trip to Europe which I accommodated by booking flights into one country and out of another to do drop off and pick up then he cancelled his trip. So yes this is a drip feed.

He probably just wants to know what you class as mid to late morning.

@Walkingalot

He probably just wants to know what you class as mid to late morning.

Exactly this.

You don't have to give an exact time now, but I don't see why it is so difficult for you to communicate "between 10.30 and 11.30" with your ex, rather than leaving it as wishy-washy mid to late morning.

I would see mid morning as being about 10 and late morning as anything up to about 11:55.

I hate vague timings.
It happens with PIL often as they run on a completely different schedule to us. Last week they said they'd pick the children up at tea time. Tea to them is evening meal so I thought 6-6:30 they turned up at 4:30

Ugh he's one of those, what an entitled and difficult arsehole he is. So sorry, OP.

For instance he spent 2 years planning a big family trip to Europe which I accommodated by booking flights into one country and out of another to do drop off and pick up then he cancelled his trip. So yes this is a drip feed

What? I don't get this. So you had to do (or were intending to) pick up and drop off contact time in another country?

9.30 -11.30

This would annoy the hell out of me. Even my OWN mid to late morning depends on when I get up… which ultimately will be very different during Xmas vs Monday morning at work. Fwiw: Late morning probably around 11.30. Mid morning could be anything though, maybe 10am.

11am (they'd be aiming for 10.30 but know they are busy and might be later).

11 - 11:30 but just state that to him "let's meet at 11" no ambiguity that way.