My mother-in-law is visiting to meet my newborn son for the first time and, ostensibly, to help care for him. She's a kind woman, and we've always been friends, but I've become infuriated by her carelessness and lack of self-awareness. Here are a few examples:
-She keeps falling asleep while holding the baby during the daytime. Not dosing, but fully unconscious. I am doing the night shift, so she's sleeping 8 hours a night. Nevertheless, she said that "holding the baby is her favorite way to nap." This strikes me as unsafe, and is, therefore, no help to me. When I'm meant to be doing chores or resting myself I end up keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't drop the baby. When I nicely asked her to stop doing this because I feel it's unsafe she was incredibly hurt, started crying, and said she didn't like my tone.
-Due to a tongue tie, the baby is bottle-fed, with half formula/half pumped breastmilk. MIL offered to make the baby's formula bottles and DH and I both repeatedly told her the appropriate ratio of water to powder. It's also printed on the can. Later that day it became apparent that she had mistakenly diluted the bottles. As a result, he was not getting enough calories had loose stools from excess water intake.
-We went to the local fire station for a car seat installation check. While there, MIL recounted that she once accidentally put a car seat holding her infant son (my DH) on the roof of her car and forgot about it before driving off. The car seat tumbled to the ground but thankfully the baby was alright. She told this story as if it were a funny anecdote.
-The piece-de-resistance. She accidentally turned off our furnace, having mistaken the plainly marked furnace switch for a regular light switch. It has a bright red switch plate that reads "oil burner, emergency only." Before I knew the furnace was off, the baby awoke screaming and freezing cold. I spent a freezing sleepless night rocking him in a blanket trying to keep him warm. The next morning, upon learning that the heat was out my MIL commented that we have "strange switches in this house" and I immediately knew what had happened. Up until MIL's visit the baby has had a consistent sleep schedule, but since the furnace incident he has barely slept, night or day. I've now been awake for 48 hours, while she's sleeping soundly downstairs.
She then had the audacity to comment that I'm spoiling him by rocking him at night. He's clearly distressed because she starved and froze him!
This is a bit of a rant, but I'm also looking for some validation. AIBU to be completely fed up? All this "help" is making me more exhausted than before she arrived. Any advice on how to proceed?