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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU-Leaving Property

220 replies

Wingingit202122 · 06/11/2021 08:33

I’m currently in the process of completing a mutual exchange (house swap for council/HA tenants) and was wondering if IABU
i found a couple (mid 60s) who are downsizing to my flat and i am having there’s so we then filled all forms and had to send in proof of passport and address
We have had all of our inspection checks done and everything was ok so now we have been given a date to sign new tenancys
When we looked at each other’s property we were discussing what things we would leave behind and what we would take but agreed nothing to be certain until we had approval swap was actually going ahead
The husband emailed me last night with a list of things they were leaving in property and things they were expecting me to leave
They are leaving- carpets throughout the house also in bathroom and kitchen (31 years old which stink of dog), old curtains, lampshades, old fridge freezer and even older cooker, wardrobes and old bed frames
They are requesting i leave the same as a like for like swap so that none of us have the ‘stress of moving these heavy items’
I reply saying I will not leave any of these items as ive only had all of my items for less than 2 yrs as i got everything brand new when i moved to this house as had been in a shelter before this so had nothing. I had anticipated having to leave The carpet as don’t know how i would move this but wasn’t planning on leaving my living room wood flooring as i can use this in new house
Also my beds and childrens furniture i want to take, also my kitchen stuff!

He has replied saying they will now have to rethink the exchange as they don’t have the money to replace anything
I don’t understand as they can just bring there stuff with them and only thing to replace is the carpet

OP posts:
intothedark · 06/11/2021 13:01

Its a council property you leave nothing behind you have a blank canvas when you move in no carpets white goods or anything so you leave nothing, its very different if your buying or private renting

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 06/11/2021 13:08

I find this mentality baffling.

I have never left anything apart from window fittings that have been pre-arranged.

Why would you leave fridge/washer etc?

Offer to leave the goods they want but for the retail cost of XYZ, watch them change their tune.

I do find it odd you're taking the floor though.

BoredZelda · 06/11/2021 13:08

Call their bluff. They left it til now to back you in to the corner. Don’t fall for it, and if you have to wait for another exchange then do be it.

AdviceOnLife · 06/11/2021 13:13

My HA neighbour arranged a swap with another HA tennent. My neighbour left his lovely new flooring for the new neighbours. The housing ripped it up during the swap and the new family had bare uneven floorboards until they could afford flooring.

Dealing with a HA authority for a swap/ rent is very different to private selling or renting.
It is meant to be back to the shell before the exchange.

Original poster
Wingingit202122 · 06/11/2021 13:17

My real irk with the floor is theirs is decades old and they have themselves said they have wanted to change it 10 yrs ago but as they’ve wanted to move they have put up with it. So they can afford to replace the flooring in 1 room, they just don’t want to.

I already have the cost of paying for a skip to remove all their carpets ( 7 rooms in total) and paying to replace all of these. plus the £370 it’s costing me to pay for their removals!

Meanwhile i’m happy to leave my 2 yr old carpet but the flooring is the type that clicks together in a herringbone style so aside from the edges that have been cut the rest would be completely reusable for me to use again.
Im not wealthy by any accounts! Im a single mother of 3 who works part time and scrimps and saves to make my home somewhere i can be proud of so i don’t feel like my initial wanting of taking my £1k flooring with me was unreasonable as it would literally only be 1 room they would have to replace.

OP posts:
Pontypandytaxpayer · 06/11/2021 13:23

How upset would you be if they backed out of the exchange?

MRex · 06/11/2021 13:23

Just tell them no thank you to their stuff, unfortunately you can't leave white goods nor furniture as it's on HP, so it has to be moved with you but as you're paying removal costs they can use their stuff in the new house. Say you'll leave carpets but get a carpet quote for the wood floor room and offer to give them £x to get a new carpet of their choice fitted in there. If you think your flat is a good deal for them then play hardball on everything else.

Whereismumhiding3 · 06/11/2021 13:25

@AdviceOnLife

My HA neighbour arranged a swap with another HA tennent. My neighbour left his lovely new flooring for the new neighbours. The housing ripped it up during the swap and the new family had bare uneven floorboards until they could afford flooring.

Dealing with a HA authority for a swap/ rent is very different to private selling or renting.
It is meant to be back to the shell before the exchange.

This ^

This is what our HAs do

Take your flooring with you OP. By all means leave the carpet if HA aren't going to rip it up but I'd ask as they may be ripping up those from flroperty that you are moving to. I think the couple are CFs especially wanting to leave their old tatt dune notice old oven and bed frames! Our HA will remove them and send her the bill for disposal of items

Original poster
Wingingit202122 · 06/11/2021 13:31

@Pontypandytaxpayer

How upset would you be if they backed out of the exchange?
@Pontypandytaxpayer i’d be pissed off but only because it’s taken 14 weeks for this to all go through! Yes it’s a bigger property than mine but it needs loads of work doing on it that i can’t afford yet so really we will be living in a slow fixer-upper Over my 2 yrs here i’ve had loads of people knock or put letter through asking if i’m willing to exchange just purely because of the shortage of ground floor flats in the area so it wouldn’t be hard to find somewhere else if i wanted. this one just happened to be closer to my childrens school!
OP posts:
Pontypandytaxpayer · 06/11/2021 13:35

But you wouldn't be too upset about losing that specific house?

If not, I'd call their bluff on this and say you need to take all your things because they're new and you can't afford to replace them.

They are probably changing their arm but it's worth thinking about how upset you would be if they do back out.

RandomMess · 06/11/2021 14:04

With all that demand for your flat stand firm!!!

You could offer to sell them the flooring for say £750 but otherwise take it with you.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 06/11/2021 14:04

You can take your flooring with you but you cant leave a bare floor.

What I'd do is pay for a cheap carpet, if its worth 1k and you can reuse it, spend £300 or £400 fitting the cheapest carpet you can to the space and take the £1k flooring with you.

Viviennemary · 06/11/2021 14:10

You are getting a really good deal here. A 3 bedroomed house in exchange for a flat. If I was the old couple I would swap with somebody more appreciative.

RandomMess · 06/11/2021 14:19

@DrinkFeckArseBrick yes she can, it's a HA property technically that is exactly what she should do.

MMMarmite · 06/11/2021 14:20

I think you have your answer. Your property is more in demand than theirs. They are being unfair in their requests. Say no and put the ball back in their court.

Pontypandytaxpayer · 06/11/2021 14:22

@Viviennemary

You are getting a really good deal here. A 3 bedroomed house in exchange for a flat. If I was the old couple I would swap with somebody more appreciative.
But presumably the couple want a ground floor flat rather than a whole house?

They are likely to be paying the bedroom tax on their current place so will save money by moving.

WomanStanleyWoman · 06/11/2021 14:27

Exactly @Pontypandytaxpayer. @Viviennemary makes it sound like it’s one child swapping her Barbie collection for a bag of marbles.

BackBackBack · 06/11/2021 14:31

@Viviennemary

You are getting a really good deal here. A 3 bedroomed house in exchange for a flat. If I was the old couple I would swap with somebody more appreciative.
Quite right. The old couple need to hold out and rinse OP for everything she's got. I mean, how selfish not to want to give up your new furniture and your children's beds and wardrobes, and your newly purchased white-goods that you are still paying off... Hmm
SunLovingMummy · 06/11/2021 14:32

Ok so with all these facts and input, write back saying

“thank you for your email. I have financing on my items, I’ll will need to take them with me. As I’m already paying for the movers to move your items to my place, you’ll still have all of your existing furniture, curtains/poles and white goods, the only thing you’ll need to replace is the wood floor in one room. As I plan to replace all the carpet in your place, please feel free to take any of this that you require to move to my place.

Further, as you’re aware there is a shortage of ground floor flats in the area and as I have received other enquiries about my ground floor flat, please let me know by the end of the week if you’d like to proceed with the swap.”

Cattitudes · 06/11/2021 14:35

In that case you are in a strong position and I would hold firm especially as the white goods are still on finance.

Original poster
Wingingit202122 · 06/11/2021 14:37

@Viviennemary

You are getting a really good deal here. A 3 bedroomed house in exchange for a flat. If I was the old couple I would swap with somebody more appreciative.
@Viviennemary if they could find someone who would swap with them! they’re not doing me a favour, if anything i’m the one in the better position regardless of house size
OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 06/11/2021 14:50

i cant image the floor is the exactly same size and shape to carry over the flooring.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 06/11/2021 14:57

Hold fire @Wingingit202122 you are not in the wrong. I had something similar years ago. Lady wanted me to buy her carpets and curtains due to brand. Ive no doubt they were v expensive shen she bought them 40 years ago. Think carpet threadbare, etc. Threatened to take all with her to leave me with nothing. Not amused when i said that was fine, as i was going in to gut the place. It needed rewire, decorated, new bathroom, new kitchen. She took nothing! I had to hire a skip and dump. Was in even worse condition than i originally thought. Follow up on offers you've had from others

BackBackBack · 06/11/2021 14:58

@SunLovingMummy

Ok so with all these facts and input, write back saying

“thank you for your email. I have financing on my items, I’ll will need to take them with me. As I’m already paying for the movers to move your items to my place, you’ll still have all of your existing furniture, curtains/poles and white goods, the only thing you’ll need to replace is the wood floor in one room. As I plan to replace all the carpet in your place, please feel free to take any of this that you require to move to my place.

Further, as you’re aware there is a shortage of ground floor flats in the area and as I have received other enquiries about my ground floor flat, please let me know by the end of the week if you’d like to proceed with the swap.”

^^ Send this and on reflection given the shortage of flats in your area, I'd take the bloody hard floor with you as well!
Lentil63 · 06/11/2021 15:05

Anything not fitted is yours. You should definitely leave flooring.