Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

[Sammy900]

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

Good pet owners get their animals neutered.

If your let your female go into heat, her behaviour will change. She will yowl, cry and do whatever it takes to get outside and to a male cat, even if that involves jumping out of a 2-3 storey window or running into traffic. Her hormones will totally take over.

You may also find she sprays and urinates all over your house, soft furnishings, bed and even on you.

You increase her risk of getting pyometra which is an infection of the womb. By the time it's visible to humans, your cat is already at a very high risk of death. Just Google images of a pyometric uterus. It's not pretty.

But by all means, risk her life and her health because it's "natural"

@lateforschool

I am extremely irritated by the lazy owners of the neighbourhood Tom who didn’t get him snipped so my poor little five months old tiny girl cat was lept on by their monster of a cat and had a horrible labour and a still born.

You were incredibly irresponsible to let an unspeyed kitten out, what on Earth were you thinking??

It's actually shocking to me that people still think not neutering their cats is acceptable.

When I was a kid in the 1980s my parents allowed our female cat to have a litter, she was mobbed and raped by numerous toms who would wait by the back door for her. It was horrible and stressful for the cat.

I got our female cat speyed as soon as she was old enough (at around 4 months) and she's never been bothered by other male cats.

Op I do get it to a degree, I've often thought my cat would have made a lovely mum as she's very gentle and sweet. However it also turned out that she has an autoimmune disorder which wasn't diagnosed until she was nearly a year and is genetic so letting her breed would have been even more irresponsible than usual!!

Have a lot on a few rescue pages to see how many cats and kittens there are already in the world without homes.

I foster kittens for a cat charity, believe me you are doing the right thing in having your cats neutered. Delighted to see you've had your boy done. But please don't let your girl have a litter. There are so many kittens in rescues looking for a home. By deliberately allowing your girl have a litter you are potentially preventing those kittens from finding a home. Not to mention exposing your girl to a violent unpleasant mating by an aggressive Tom who will more than likely be much larger than she is.
You're also exposing her to life limiting illnesses that are passed through body fluids such as FIV and FELV by allowing her to mate. Then there's the stress of giving birth and looking after her kittens, why would you allow her to go through this when she could go through life without having to endure it? Please please neuter your female, she doesn't need to have kittens. And while I agree healthy kittens are the most adorable thing ever, letting her have a litter would be a purely selfish act on your behalf, don't do it.

@Sammy900

Also please don't assume I'm sat here thinking that there is this magical anthropomorphic version of family life or something. I know they are animals - I'm simply questioning the right I have to take their mating abilities away

Could you try thinking of it as a way to prevent your female cat from being raped? She's a cat, she doesn't know what is going to happen after she is pushed by those hormones to escape from your house and writhe around. She doesn't know that she's at risk of contracting illness, of getting abscesses from being bitten on the neck, that what happens (because she has no concept of it) is going to hurt her, that then she will become pregnant and go through labour, that the pain is because kittens are coming, that some could die (as could she) and that she will then be able to conceive again almost immediately afterwards. She might stray from your house because she feels threatened by the other cat and then birth the kittens in a cold garden underneath somebody's shed where they die of starvation, cold or flooding. Or somebody else takes her in because she's pregnant and you just never see her again.

She has no understanding of what is happening or could happen to her. Neither do you if you haven't appreciated that this could cost your cat her life, never mind any kittens.

Spaying your female cat frees her from all of that and the cost is merely a few pounds and a bit of 'Kittens would have been cute'.

@lateforschool

I am extremely irritated by the lazy owners of the neighbourhood Tom who didn’t get him snipped so my poor little five months old tiny girl cat was lept on by their monster of a cat and had a horrible labour and a still born.

You're just as irresponsible as they are for letting your unspayed female out to roam

The fact that your poor kitten went through labour and a still birth is entirely your fault.

OK @Sammy900 I'll go against the grain, here's a question to the experts...

I am all for spaying and all 3 cats I have ever had (all female) are neutered. We knew nothing about cats when we had them, and were told this is for the best by the cats protection league.

So, the questions I would l like to put to the experts (and armchair experts...) i

'if ALL cats are neutered, where are people going to get kittens/cats from (in the future) if they want one as a pet?' Because surely we eventually will run out cats if ALL of them are neutered!'

'Or will we just keep breeding the pedigree cats? So then only well-off/rich people will be able to afford a cat?'

Off out now. Back later.

@Sammy900

Also please don't assume I'm sat here thinking that there is this magical anthropomorphic version of family life or something. I know they are animals - I'm simply questioning the right I have to take their mating abilities away

Its not a right, its a responsibility. You became responsible for your cats when you took them on. YOU are resonsible for keeping them safe and healthy AND just like anybody else who keeps animals, YOU are responsible for any young you allow them to have and for any illness or injuries arising from not neutering them.

I’m sitting with my 5 month old girl and have every intention of getting her spayed. For all the many reasons already listed. She’ll be in to the vet for a check up next week to ensure she’s nice and healthy and then she’ll be booked in to have it done. I have zero guilt about this. Saving her from pregnancy after pregnancy and painful encounters with males.

if you are used to having cats as a teen, why the dumb questions?

'if ALL cats are neutered, where are people going to get kittens/cats from (in the future) if they want one as a pet?' Because surely we eventually will run out cats if ALL of them are neutered!'

That will never happen for several reasons - there are too many irresponsible owners who won't neuter or spay their pets regardless of what any law might say. There are also too many feral/outdoor/stray cats knocking about.

Or will we just keep breeding the pedigree cats? So then only well-off/rich people will be able to afford a cat?'

It's not one or the other. We will never get to a point where all dogs and cats are neutered but what we can do is try and stop people letting their entire pets out to roam and cause havoc everywhere they go.

Off out now. Back later.

Please look up Pyometra which is what they can get if they’re not neutered. I don’t know any dog or cat to have survived it.

Do you have children OP? Are the vaccinated?
Are you on any birth control? Do you have an asthma pump?
None of these are ‘natural’ but they are for the greater good.

Your cat does not need a litter.
The only reason you want to do this is for your own enjoyment/money.

Apart from having a first litter 🙄 I do think it’s good to weigh up the pros and cons of things. I had to do that when my elderly dog had a tumour and needed an operation. But you won’t get any responses saying not to neuter your cat as it’s obvious it’s the best thing to do and it’s quite worrying that you didn’t think about this before you got your cats.

@LittleDandelionClock

OK *@Sammy900* I'll go against the grain, here's a question to the experts...

I am all for spaying and all 3 cats I have ever had (all female) are neutered. We knew nothing about cats when we had them, and were told this is for the best by the cats protection league.

So, the questions I would l like to put to the experts (and armchair experts...) i

'if ALL cats are neutered, where are people going to get kittens/cats from (in the future) if they want one as a pet?' Because surely we eventually will run out cats if ALL of them are neutered!'

'Or will we just keep breeding the pedigree cats? So then only well-off/rich people will be able to afford a cat?'

Off out now. Back later.

I am honestly not sure that cats who are allowed to roam freely are a reasonable pet to have in the 21st century, whether neutered or not. If you are going to enclose your garden so that they are not allowed to go and shit in other people's gardens get run over, killbirds and so on then that is fine but how many do?. I do have some ethical concerns about indoor only housecats but must admit i don't have experience of keeping one.

Spaying a young cat is much less risky than spaying an older cat, particularly a cat that has had a litter.

OP sorry but you sound dally AF. You chose to take domesticated animals into your home and now it's up to you as their owner to keep them well and safe. Your concerns about hampering their natural instincts are ridiculous.

My DB and SIL have never had their lab done, I think they were terrified of him getting fat. He’s 7 now and admittedly still slim and fit. He doesn’t seem to go around trying to hump humans but is a bit over boisterous and familiar with other dogs.

OP thanks for getting your cat done. We have so many cats shitting in our garden.

@CounsellorTroi

My DB and SIL have never had their lab done, I think they were terrified of him getting fat. He’s 7 now and admittedly still slim and fit. He doesn’t seem to go around trying to hump humans but is a bit over boisterous and familiar with other dogs.

OP thanks for getting your cat done. We have so many cats shitting in our garden.

Dogs are a bit different to cats in terms of neutering and the risks/benefits though.

I asked about the female before going to bed last night… and I see this morning exactly what I expected to see!

I actually do understand that, “do I have a right to neuter” could cross someone’s mind.

But it’s laughable to me that there’s an ethical dilemma over not allowing a male cat sex, but no dilemma over taking the female’s children from her! 🧐

@LittleDandelionClock

OK *@Sammy900* I'll go against the grain, here's a question to the experts...

I am all for spaying and all 3 cats I have ever had (all female) are neutered. We knew nothing about cats when we had them, and were told this is for the best by the cats protection league.

So, the questions I would l like to put to the experts (and armchair experts...) i

'if ALL cats are neutered, where are people going to get kittens/cats from (in the future) if they want one as a pet?' Because surely we eventually will run out cats if ALL of them are neutered!'

'Or will we just keep breeding the pedigree cats? So then only well-off/rich people will be able to afford a cat?'

Off out now. Back later.

We aren't ever going to run out of kittens. There will still be strays as a direct result of them following the hormonal urges to escape from not being spayed/neutered. You only need one unneutered Tom and unspayed female cat escaping to cause a population explosion in a year -

On escape - 2 cats
1st mating - 2 cats + 4-12 kittens = 4 to 14 animals
2nd mating a few weeks later - 4 to 14 from 1st + 4 to 12 kittens = 8 to 26 animals
The first litter reach sexual maturity around 4 - 6 months, assume half are female and they've been mated by their father = 26 animals plus (13 females times 4 to 12 kittens each) = over a hundred animals.

and then there's the 2nd litter reaching maturity = hundreds of animals in less than a year.

We are never going to run out of cats.

You did the best thing by far for all sorts of reasons....main one being there are too many unwanted animals without making more!

Let me tell you about my latest rescue cat who demonstrates what could happen if you don't spay your female.

She was picked up by an RSPCA inspector with another adult cat (who might have been injured IIRC) and her 2 older kittens who were feral and unable to be re-homed as pets. She was about a year old, underweight and very scared of humans. I can never know her story, but she wasn't completely feral, so she was probably someone's pet for a short while, wasn't spayed or chipped, and had probably got lost when first let out, perhaps scared off by toms, I'll never know. She was lucky not to be positive for FIV or FELV, but was thought to have possibly had cat flu. I've worked hard over the past year to 'rehabilitate' her so she can live a happy life without fear. The rescue spayed and chipped her, she's safe now, she's happy, she loves playing in the garden, pond watching and tree climbing. She has a life she couldn't have as an unspayed female cat.

@RobotValkyrie

You're trying to reconcile two incompatible thoughts/feelings/beliefs, OP. What you're experiencing here is cognitive dissonance.

On the one hand you like animals to be free, lead a natural life, have their own agency, etc.
On the other hand you want pets, i.e., in many ways, "children", that you are responsible for, need to make decisions for, etc.

An animal cannot both be yours and be free.
There's a fundamental conflict here, because their natural wants (sex, sex, sex, and more sex) will clash with what you can rationally consider to be in their best interest (and also, for the greater good).

Your other "pet owner" decisions (feeding, daily care) are easier to brush off because they are not irreversible. This one is harder because it does touch on fundamental body autonomy.
The ethical issue is (usually, but not always!) clear-cut when considering human rights to "sovereignty over their own body".
But your pet isn't human. Your "boy" isn't a human child. He can never be trusted to make his own reproductive decisions. And he's not a wild animal either. He never was, and truly never will be. He is a pet, which makes him, to some extent, an "object".
I can understand why that realisation would make you feel uncomfortable.

Pet ownership is weird. A bit like "loving animals yet eating meat", really.

This is the closest explanation of how I'm feeling really.

I'm not really resonating with the - it's just a cat, it doesn't have rights crew
Nor the - all animal mating is cruel crew

Like a previous poster has stated....if all cats were neutered and spayed, then there wouldn't be any pets.

Do people feel that cats should only be bred on purpose in controlled settings (where the human intervenes and forces them to do so...for whos benefit?)

Any person that has ever had a kitten has had it removed from its mother cat at some point....including me and I have thought about it and felt uncomfortable about that too. I thought it was normal to feel a sense of anguish about such things.

Yeah, we're never going to run out of cats. Neutering keeps the population of stray cats, whose life expectancy is around 5 years, down.

My semi feral cat wasn't neutered when we acquired him, he was scared and aggressive and full of fleas and cuts from fights. He now lives a lovely life pottering outside near my house (who knows where) and coming for food when he wants. He's still terrified of most people but lets me stroke him. I suspect he was also a cat who escaped young to roam because his owners did not neuter him.

Do people feel that cats should only be bred on purpose in controlled settings (where the human intervenes and forces them to do so...for whos benefit?)

Yes absolutely.
If there’s ever a reason why people need a cat to beed then it should absolutely be done in a controlled setting. So many things can go wrong. Mating in the animal world is often very brutal and one of them can get seriously injured or killed if things go wrong.

If there’s no reason for the cat to mate then the cat needs to be neutered and not put in that situation.

Humans have sex for pleasure. Cats don’t.

Quarter of a million urban stray cats OP. Five year life expectancy. Fleas, disease, hunger. If you feel anguish about trying to help the overall cat population in this small way, a cat probably isn't the right pet for you - and that's fine.

@Sammy900 “Any person that has ever had a kitten has had it removed from its mother cat at some point....including me and I have thought about it and felt uncomfortable about that too. I thought it was normal to feel a sense of anguish about such things.“

I’m just interested in why you feel uncomfortable about separating cats and their kittens - yet planned to do it anyway - but were more uncomfortable about neutering this male cat?

Neutered male cat: you can have your ethical debate, but he doesn’t know what he’s missing
Taking kittens away: real distress - if temporary

The latter seems far more of a dilemma to me!

I think youre spot on with your most recent post @Sammy900 and also @RobotValkyrie.

There will always be a level of selfishness and cruelty with pet ownership. Just look at the horrendous health conditions pugs and other 'breeds' have to endure. All bred to satisfy our selfish wants. Pet ownership will one day be a thing of the past just like circus elephants, donkey rides and dressed up monkeys.