Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

[Sammy900]

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

I have a male cat who has to stay indoors because he is FIV. He was a stray I adopted from Cats Protection and has FIV because his previous owner couldn’t be arsed to have him neutered.

He neither knows nor cares he can’t father (more) kittens.

He has bad teeth and gums as a result of FIV
and he is lucky I can afford a good insurance scheme and can afford to pay for whatever health issues he is likely to have in future. He hates the vet and cries and fights when we go.

I love my cat dearly but would have preferred that his original owner had got him neutered and he lived his life without FIV.

Ultimately, regardless of your personal views on the matter, there's no ethical way for you to have a litter of kittens from your female cat. The cats protection league are very clear - the only responsible choice as an owner is spaying.

@WizardHowl

Oh I cross-posted with you OP, and missed your update about forcing your female cat to become a brood mare for no good reason at all apart from your stupidity.I has assumed you could read and understand the reams of information available on the internet, for example, about why it is far healthier to desex pets before they hit adulthood, and how there is no health-related reason at all to make female cats have a litter before spaying them. So congratulations on planning to either make a profit from your cat (where are your ethical qualms with that?), or contribute knowingly to the massive unwanted kitten problem.

You’re obviously hard of thinking so there’s no point engaging with you.

You said it harshly but I agree with you. That little kitten needs fixing, she cannot give informed consent to have babies.

You should get her spayed too.

You're trying to reconcile two incompatible thoughts/feelings/beliefs, OP.
What you're experiencing here is cognitive dissonance.

On the one hand you like animals to be free, lead a natural life, have their own agency, etc.
On the other hand you want pets, i.e., in many ways, "children", that you are responsible for, need to make decisions for, etc.

An animal cannot both be yours and be free.
There's a fundamental conflict here, because their natural wants (sex, sex, sex, and more sex) will clash with what you can rationally consider to be in their best interest (and also, for the greater good).

Your other "pet owner" decisions (feeding, daily care) are easier to brush off because they are not irreversible. This one is harder because it does touch on fundamental body autonomy.
The ethical issue is (usually, but not always!) clear-cut when considering human rights to "sovereignty over their own body".
But your pet isn't human. Your "boy" isn't a human child. He can never be trusted to make his own reproductive decisions. And he's not a wild animal either. He never was, and truly never will be. He is a pet, which makes him, to some extent, an "object".
I can understand why that realisation would make you feel uncomfortable.

Pet ownership is weird. A bit like "loving animals yet eating meat", really.

I think you sound ridiculous.

You want your female cat surrounded by male cats who’ll hurt her then put her through labour with no pain relief? What if they chase her out of the area and she’s lost?.

Who on earth gave you a dependant animal to look after? Your failing that cat.

As someone who is owned by cats, I can't even think about cats and kittens being euthanised in shelters because there are not enough homes to go around without tearing up. I certainly do not want to know the number of cats who meet such a fate in the UK every year because I suspect that number is quite large.

It really is as simple as spay or neuter as soon as possible or you are an irresponsible pet owner and certainly not a cat lover. Even if you find what you think are good homes for this one litter you do not know for sure how many descendants of your female cat will end up being born and euthanised without having ever had a real home. What if that number gets into the thousands within a few years? I don't know how anyone could cope with the thought.

I wouldn’t fixate on your little kitten being ok if she has a litter from someone other than a random Tom - even if you fixed her up with the cat equivalent of Tom Hardy the ethical issues would still stand. You’re putting your tiny kitten through multiple horrible experiences for nobody’s benefit.

I felt the same as you until my young male cat started spraying all over the house and spreading spray smell on my sheets and began pouncing on his mother and uncle innolay sex. We had him budgeted at six months after much agonised hand ringing. Seems to be better for me and all the cats.

I am extremely irritated by the lazy owners of the neighbourhood Tom who didn’t get him snipped so my poor little five months old tiny girl cat was lept on by their monster of a cat and had a horrible labour and a still born.

@Sammy900

I have read all of your replies and am now seriously considering getting our girl cat spayed. Very good and overwhelming arguments in favour of doing so. So thank you. She is only young and at the age to be having this discussion.

It still sits uneasy with me though, not really addressed the point of the thread yet ...seems the majority are straight away all for it. No question

OP I know where you are coming from. I felt horribly guilty about getting my female kitten spayed for the same reasons you mentioned. I did in the end as I didn’t want to add to the kitten population but also because it’s really unsafe to let a kitten out un spayed. If they get pregnant under 1 year then there is a real risk of the dying during birthing or mum not looking after her kittens properly and the kittens not making it. Even if everything goes to planets of kittens don’t make it. What would you do if you saw one or more kittens were weak? Take to a vet which would cost £££££ or just let them die? I couldn’t bear the thought of tiny kittens in my house being poorly or dying an not being able to save them. That would make me horrifically guilty! So if you do decide to not get your female spayed please at least don’t let her out to mate until she’s 1 year.

@lateforschool

I am extremely irritated by the lazy owners of the neighbourhood Tom who didn’t get him snipped so my poor little five months old tiny girl cat was lept on by their monster of a cat and had a horrible labour and a still born.

Why on Earth was she out unspayed at 5 months!!!??? You are also irresponsible and have not looked after her or protected her properly

Do you let your girl cat out OP? Cos she's 4 months old and can get pregnant now!
Say you let her have a litter, either by the local tom cat or some cat prostitution arrangement 😂 the kittens are a few weeks old, she escapes outside and boom pregnant again.
What would you do in that situation?

We lost our last boy ( who was neutered when a kitten) this year to FIV which he contracted from one of the frequent fights he had with the several intact Toms who roam around our area. He was only 8 and otherwise a big healthy lad. I was heartbroken. If more people neutered their cats there is every possibility that he would have still been with us. So forgive me being harsh as I feel very personally affected by this.

As a pet owner YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for getting your cats neutered. You are not just responsible for their health, you are inadvertently affecting the health of cats in the surrounding areas.

You have chosen to keep cats. You can keep them indoors all their lives if you like, meaning it won't matter hugely if you dont neuter the female. But queens in heat are a nightmare; you'll have every Tom in the neighbourhood and beyond fighting in your garden as soon as she's in season.
She doesn't NEED to have a litter.

We are in the process of starting to think about another cat - again from a rescue. It's so sad to see how many kittens they are trying to rehome - all of which seem to get snapped up ahead of the older less 'desirable' cats.

Letting your cat breed is just grossly irresponsible and if it doesn't sit right with you to interfere in the "natural" way of things then please consider getting your cat/s rehomed and spare yourself the ethical dilemma. Because IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

The episode of the new All Creatures Great and Small had this as a theme this week but about Mrs Pumphrey’s male dog and I though it was highly irresponsible, so this thread is not a surprise to me.

Mrs Pumphrey agonising over the dog’s ‘right to express itself’ and live free - as it was running off to neighbouring farms after the female dogs . And a loose dog and sheep?? Apparently though the jolly old farmer didn’t mind a litter so that was —convenient and highly unrealistic— OK and by then end Siegfried was also convinced to allow the dog to run free and ‘be himself’.

Nonsensical and irresponsible woke bullshit. And I absolutely do care about animal welfare.

Just when I thought I’d heard it all, don’t be so fucking ridiculous op! There are far too many stray cats in the U.K.

I foster cats so feel very strongly, educate yourself please!

There are health benefits to having a female cats spayed without having a litter . The risk of certain infections and cancers are eliminated. It also extends their life
I had my cat done at 6 months. She now almost 20 years old.
The cats won’t missed what they never had.

@Sammy900

minipie I suppose I do mean his right to sex, I didn't think he'd be into the family life haha.

I totally agree with all the arguments stating that cats are domesticated by us, but sending him off to get his bit chopped off just seems like a step too far in the interference with nature - this is ultimately something I decided was the right thing to do....but I'm feeling uneasy about it.

Thankyou for the posts reassuring me that it was the right thing this is was I need to here - what happens if you don't and how the alternative can have a detrimental impact

Skysblue your comment was really helpful thank you

We have decided to let our girl cat have a litter and then get spayed...so maybe that's where the incongruence lies with my ethics

What you need to understand is that you aren't "allowing" your female cat to have kittens.

She doesn't have a choice. Animals in season are in the grip of hormones that overwhelm them. They have a drive to escape, regardless of safety, so many are killed on the road. Then they are mounted by a series of males, each of whom will bite onto the back of her neck and penetrate her with a barbed penis. It's painful, distressing, and can cause injury and spread disease. It's not something that the animals do for fun! Then she'll be forced to give birth without anaesthetic.

What you're doing is ascribing human emotions to an animal that can't feel the way we do. For us, sex is pleasurable regardless of whether it's for procreation, because that's what helps us pass on our genes. And we want to continue to live with our children.

Cats are acting under a brutal biological imperative because that's the best way to pass on genes in the wild, where life expectancy is a couple of years.

All cats should be neutered/spayed. Nothing to feel guilty about imho.

We have an entire male Maine Coon, so our female kitten is getting neutered at exactly 4 months old because I don’t want her getting knocked up.
She won’t know and will be a much healthier, happier animal if she doesn’t need to have a litter of kittens every 4 months.

He’ll piss up your curtains, wail constantly and produce so many litters of unwanted kittens that many will die or be killed. I know I couldn’t live with that, could you?

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....

I'm not sure why you're asking for opinions when you've already made the decision and the cat has been neutered...but for what it's worth, imo you've done what any responsible cat owner has to do.
My cat is a rescue and was 'intact' when he was found injured from fighting at the age of about 4. We had to arrange for him to be neutered before he came to us (it was a condition of adoption) but as someone said upthread, he's still got the inherent behaviour of a fighter, probably because he was intact for so long.
At least we know that there won't be numerous litters of homeless kittens.

Your female won't have a choice though.
It's not as though she will choose to have kittens. She'll be forcibly mated by a male cat wether she likes it or not.

Cats will naturally breed even when not healthy, and Continue to have litters until they either age out or die because of the toll of it.

In my rescue with have a young cat with deformities because she wasn't neutered and had litter after litter from too young and the resources it takes literally took all her nutrients until her body Began to crumble to sustain it.

I never felt bad about sex or reproduction deprivation.

Cats don't enjoy their fertility.

We all felt bad about our kittens being unable to groom or play while coned afterwards. They were fairly miserable. One of them became quite withdrawn while coned. Beyond the initial hour of how stressful they found wearing cones, they struggled to see so couldn't jump or run around. Even walking around challenged them. Any play was difficult for one & the other refused to even try to play. Technically being spayed comes under "non-essential" surgery so I had a gut "not strictly necessary" feeling about it. No way would I consider not spaying them, but it was uncomfortable seeing how unhappy they were while coned.

OP is lucky -- boys recover faster.

Tiny cat being unspayed -- our vets want cats to reach 2kg before being spayed. Some girl cats won't hit 2kg before 6months.