Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

[Sammy900]

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

@Sammy900 - again, how did you acquire your cats?

Furries

Yes, the thread is also full of people who are absolutely pro-neutering and not many with many other viewpoints....I feel this is partly my fault for opening the thread in a personal way -maybe I should have started an open topic in the philosophy section

Orrr....I'm completely unreasonable for feeling bad about chopping my pets bits off

I still do feel uneasy about it, I can't help it unreasonable or not - like it says in the article I posted - maybe its harder for some people (me) to reconcile two opposing beliefs - but others, the majority it's a non issue and people seem to be gob smacked that I've thought otherwise

I'm surprised actually...but there we go I must be unreasonable then

@Sammy900

Excited101

To enable her to follow her natural drive and have one litter but put restrictions in so I'm not adding to the ethical dilemma of multiple litters and overpopulation - sort of meeting half way

Still undecided though

Posters calling me names/ saying I'm not fit to be a pet owner:

Nasty comments are not appreciated and not helpful at all - please bog off to another thread

You can't control a thread.

And seriously? Your views are absolutely bonkers to most people and as you don't appear to be listening they're understandably getting cross.

[quote Furries]@Sammy900 - again, how did you acquire your cats?[/quote]
My partner got them as a surprise so I don't actually know - what does it matter, we've established you 100% don't agree with me...stop looking for another reason to go on the attack. Again - this is an issue about ethics that I am currently faced with as a pet owner myself wanting to do the right thing...

You have of course done the right thing but I do understand how you feel. I felt the same about my boy - he was a young unneutered male who adopted us. He was frequently injured and as soon as he would allow me to handle him I got him done. He's just fine and is a calmer happier lad, sitting on my lap as I type.

Ah OP, I am a vet. It is normal to have worries about these things. Especially when your pet is recovering from surgery and has a surgical wound or a GA to get over. I promise you that you have done the right thing ethically for the cat population as a whole (reducing unwanted kittens, disease transmission etc) and for him - being a ball of frustrated testosterone feeling that he has to depend his patch to the the death is not a contented life either. Being a wild (or a feral animal if a domestic non-native species like a cat) is hard, it is about survival and reproduction and that involves all kinds of risk, struggle and fighting. He will be happier for what you’ve done. I also think the ethics of allowing animals to breed freely go out of the window when they are a non-native, predator who will disrupt natural lifecycles of small mammals and birds. If you want to get deeply ethical, be vegan and don’t own a cat. If you want cats, then the ethical thing is to neuter them and prevent them killing wildlife.

Pennina
Thank you - glad your cat is happier

Pawprintpaper Thank you for your advice and a different slant on things to think about

@Sammy900 - are you seriously saying “what does it matter?” with regards to where they came from? So, you’ve never asked your partner where he got them from? So you have no idea of who their parents are, what conditions they were kept in etc?

TBH, with that attitude, your original question is almost irrelevant. You aren’t a responsible cat owner. I also think your hands may be more furry than the paws of your cats. If not, then you’re just a typically shit pet owner. I hope, for the sake of your girl, that you do get her spayed ASAP.

hehee laughed at furry hands - ok thanks for your input

I do think having pets raises many ethical dilemmas. My sister keeps indoors cats, which doesn't really sit right with me, but they are healthy and seem happy, they're at no risk of being run over or fighting. A natural life isn't going to be the easiest life, but where do you draw the line about what choices are right and wrong for your pets?
Personally I'd feel better if the operations were closer to tube tying, castration and hysterectomy seem very harsh ways to avoid reproduction. Although some of the behaviour modification benefits might not come with less severe operations...
I know it is 100% the right thing to do, but I think I'd still struggle a bit with taking an animal for an operation which does fundamentally change it's nature. I've always avoided having the dilemma by only taking on older cats, so the choice has already been made.

@DamnYouAutoCarRental

I do think having pets raises many ethical dilemmas. My sister keeps indoors cats, which doesn't really sit right with me, but they are healthy and seem happy, they're at no risk of being run over or fighting. A natural life isn't going to be the easiest life, but where do you draw the line about what choices are right and wrong for your pets? Personally I'd feel better if the operations were closer to tube tying, castration and hysterectomy seem very harsh ways to avoid reproduction. Although some of the behaviour modification benefits might not come with less severe operations... I know it is 100% the right thing to do, but I think I'd still struggle a bit with taking an animal for an operation which does fundamentally change it's nature. I've always avoided having the dilemma by only taking on older cats, so the choice has already been made.

Aaaah thankyou...I feel exactly like this. Yes He has literally had his bits chopped off.....I initially thought It might be a similar thing to a human op but nope....seems a bit extreme doesn't it!

@Sammy900

hehee laughed at furry hands - ok thanks for your input

So you still think it’s ok that you have no idea of where they came from? So it’s probable that they weren’t from a reputable breeder. And fairly likely that they weren’t from a responsible rescue. So probably from a hobby or back-yard breeder.

Your lack of concern, re the bloody basics of where they came from, pretty much sums things up.

Again, have you looked at the result of the poll? 96% think YABU.

@Sammy900

Furries

Yes, the thread is also full of people who are absolutely pro-neutering and not many with many other viewpoints....I feel this is partly my fault for opening the thread in a personal way -maybe I should have started an open topic in the philosophy section

Orrr....I'm completely unreasonable for feeling bad about chopping my pets bits off

I still do feel uneasy about it, I can't help it unreasonable or not - like it says in the article I posted - maybe its harder for some people (me) to reconcile two opposing beliefs - but others, the majority it's a non issue and people seem to be gob smacked that I've thought otherwise

I'm surprised actually...but there we go I must be unreasonable then

I'm surprised actually...but there we go I must be unreasonable then

Furries

You're on the war path...but we have opposing viewpoints, that's what I meant - that what ever I say you obvs won't agree - I feel that it's wrong to stop all reproduction in animals.....you think it's right.

My partner informed me they were from a good decent home and the mother cat was there - but you don't agree with domestic cats being bred and I'm aware of that - so why would I try and convince you otherwise - that's not the point of my thread

I haven't got a lack of concern.....I've got tons of it...hence why I've been deliberating over this issue for the past few days

You sound like a highly irresponsible owner to me. It is in the cats best interest to be spayed. She won’t know that she’s missing out on having kittens. Having ‘just one litter’ is insane to me. There are serious risks with pregnancy and birth.

I would have loved my adopted cat to have kittens, quite petite too.
A handful at 18 months, found in the snow Christmas’10, very shy, disliked men, children, cats and dogs, wouldn’t eat near me.
Nearly 12, confident with men, eats well and far happier, not had kids to deal with or dogs

@Sammy900

Furries

You're on the war path...but we have opposing viewpoints, that's what I meant - that what ever I say you obvs won't agree - I feel that it's wrong to stop all reproduction in animals.....you think it's right.

My partner informed me they were from a good decent home and the mother cat was there - but you don't agree with domestic cats being bred and I'm aware of that - so why would I try and convince you otherwise - that's not the point of my thread

I’m not on a war path. And, TBF, it is the whole point of the thread! Should you, or should you not, get your cat neutered or spayed (and therefore feel guilty about either option)

I am not saying that reproduction in all animals should be stopped - that would be daft. But I am advocating for sensible measures to be taken by pet owners.

Again - reputable breeders will usually sell their cats with restrictions. If you’re buying a “pet grade” cat, then your contract states that they must be neutered. Alternatively, they could have some that they determine are the right “stock” for showing or potential breeding. These will cost more to purchase and contacts will be different.

If you purchase from a reputable rescue, then they will always be neutered/spayed. Rescues constantly see the effects of not doing this.

It’s pretty easy to surmise that your partner bought them from neither a proper breeder or a rescue. So he has contributed money to yet another irresponsible owner who hasn’t neutered/spayed. It doesn’t matter that mother cat was there - poor girl has probably churned out more since he purchased them.

Are they both from the same litter? Or did your partner make two separate purchases from entirely different homes?

Yes from the same litter.

The boy cat was neutered yesterday. The girl is not spayed yet. This is why I started the thread as it made me doubt my decision and feel guilty.....having thought further I feel uneasy about the whole objectification of animals vs allowing them to be as natural as possible. Though, I can see and have listened to all the posters telling me of the disadvantages of not getting my cat spayed. I'm still looking into it all and will seek advice from the vets / other professionals....but I would like to consider pros and cons not just one sided.

Mumsnetters - however have without a doubt voted that I'm being unreasonable and idiotic for feeling guilty / even questioning an alternative....It's pretty clear that the majority of you feel very strongly in favour of getting your pets neutered.

Got it. Thanks

People have come considered pros and cons. I explained that I had. And my dogs weren’t spayed but my cats were. It’s not an automatic thing done without thought. It’s best for my cats to be spayed.

OP do consider that the "advice" you found on Pets4homes is not from an entirely unbiassed source. If people neutered their pets, they would have no income from people wanting to sell the offspring.

I know a few people who breeed dogs (different breeds), top show quality. They never have to advertise their puppies other than to the relevant breed societies, and often the entire litter is sold before they are even born. So the majority of the advertisers (and therefore income producers) on sites like Pets4homes are what's known as back yard breeders, non-professionals. Basically it is in the interests of the web site for people to home breed a litter or two so they are then advertised on that web site.

@godmum56

As soon as you bring the pet in through the front door you are playing god to that animal. you won't let them piss on your bed or shit on the kitchen worktop, you won't let them have fleas or ticks or worms. You probably won't let them sharpen your claws on your furniture or attack your children. As I said, the only way to avoid playing god is not to have the pet.

Yeah this. ^ As someone said upthread, lots of what we do regarding our pets is not natural @Sammy900

@Wolfiefan

People have come considered pros and cons. I explained that I had. And my dogs weren’t spayed but my cats were. It’s not an automatic thing done without thought. It’s best for my cats to be spayed.

Not trying to be goady, but why did you not spay your dogs?

@Pawprintpaper

Ah OP, I am a vet. It is normal to have worries about these things. Especially when your pet is recovering from surgery and has a surgical wound or a GA to get over. I promise you that you have done the right thing ethically for the cat population as a whole (reducing unwanted kittens, disease transmission etc) and for him - being a ball of frustrated testosterone feeling that he has to depend his patch to the the death is not a contented life either.

Being a wild (or a feral animal if a domestic non-native species like a cat) is hard, it is about survival and reproduction and that involves all kinds of risk, struggle and fighting. He will be happier for what you’ve done. I also think the ethics of allowing animals to breed freely go out of the window when they are a non-native, predator who will disrupt natural lifecycles of small mammals and birds. If you want to get deeply ethical, be vegan and don’t own a cat. If you want cats, then the ethical thing is to neuter them and prevent them killing wildlife.

Excellent post.

@Sammy900

Have you booked your little girl in for her neutering yet?