Anyone else at the end of their tether with toddler illness?

[Glassofshloer]

It’s breaking me.

I thought we were over the worst of the A&E admissions and endless sleepless nights after a YEAR of non stop illness but it’s back.

Would anyone like a thread to vent/support each other? 😢

@neverbeenskiing my heart actually sank reading your post! How is your little one doing now? I too am doing a degree alongside full time work, it’s so hard. There’s just no time. Which year are you in?

DD had her PCR today, no results yet & I’m inclined to keep her off tomorrow as it’s Friday and give her those extra few days to really feel better.

It’s shit, I feel like I’m just waiting for the next illness now. This is awful but I feel a bit of resentment to all the SAHMs in my family/friends (I’m the only mum in my family that works!), they don’t ‘get’ it and keep sending me annoying texts like ‘not again Shloer, how unlucky’. Ok they’re trying to be nice but it’s so annoying! They don’t understand what it’s like juggling work and small children, and that because you work they have to go to nursery, and because they go to nursery they get sick, and because they get sick you can’t work!

I really feel a few of them are silently judging me ‘Well what does she expect sticking her kid in full time nursery so she can go off and pursue her career’ blah. Which is really paranoid and I know they’re probably not saying it… just feel shit & tired & down.

Can I join in please? 4 illnesses in 4 weeks, 2 colds, HF&M and a sickness bug. Just feel like we're waiting for covid and chickenpox to hot to complete the set

Welcome @Eggmcmuffin sorry to hear there is yet another mum dealing with all this!

Well my daughter is bouncing round the place looking happy as a clam, I have come down with her sore throat and cough. Just in time for the weekend.

@Glassofshloer oh no, how typical!! And I meant to post yesterday and say I totally feel you on the work thing - mine are actually not too bad though that doesn't stop the backlog of tasks from piling up and I can't bear the thought of working evenings and weekends to make it up - she gets up at 4am every day (a particularly horrendous phase) so we're really just in survival mode. My partner's work are awful though - constantly questioning whether she's actually sick etc. It makes me so angry because we want to basically split the time off between us though I will inevitably take a bit more as I get more paid days of childcare leave than he does (I know we're lucky to both get any) - but they are making him so stressed and insecure about taking any time off at all that it's very hard to do. I want to email the CEO in all caps and say 'THIS IS WHY WOMEN CAN'T HAVE CAREERS' (she's also a woman btw, and has a child, but must have selective amnesia...). Oh, and I'm sure they wouldn't be much better if he was a woman, so it's not all that - it doesn't help that the only colleague with a young child has round the clock help from grandparents living close by, so literally never faces this problem.

Anyhoo, rant over - it's my turn to be in the office today while he's at home with poor vomiting bug baby. We'll miss another attempted trip to my parents and first birthday party as a result tomorrow so that's another week without social contact. Hooray. On the plus side, second covid test in a week came back negative.

I agree about careers @Etherealhedgehog

And I’m sorry you’ve lost your weekend plans 😞 I know how gutting it is to be stuck in a germ-ridden household all week with a fractious child, only to watch your only chance at a change of scenery & fresh air go up in smoke as well 🙄 then it’s another working week, then along comes another bug…I guess the negative PCR is good news or as good as it gets at the moment!

DH has taken today off to look after DD while I ‘work’ but it just isn’t cracking up like that. She’s only got the tail end of a cough now so is causing carnage in the house, leaving toys and crumbs everywhere. I caught DH trying to give her biscuits for breakfast, wtf? I mean I’m not PFB but biscuits for breakfast because he couldn’t be arsed to go and put some toast in? The house is filthy so I spent the last hour hoovering and cleaning the kitchen, only for him to have a go ‘I took today off so you could work’. Um no, you took today off to look after your sick child because we share responsibility, remember? 🙄

To top it off I just had to go to the rescue because she was having a 10/10 meltdown before her nap because she doesn’t want to sleep in the cot after a few days of sleeping with us. After a good 10 minutes of screaming I walked in to find DD crying next to the stair gate and DH had buggered off somewhere. How can I fucking work with all this noise?

Now she’s napping he should be making her lunch but he’ll just plonk himself down there, then look to me bewildered about what to make her when she wakes up hungry. Go looking in the fucking fridge mate 😡

All getting to me today…

@Glassofshloer I only started my Master's in September and after getting a call from Nursery again this afternoon to say that DS has a fever, ive decided I'm going to knock it on the head. I just can't do it. DS hasn't managed a full week of Nursery for the last 6 weeks so I've basically been behind with my course from the word go. I'm going to request a leave of absence and hope that next year this awful phase will be behind us and I can pick it up again.

On a slightly unrelated note, anyone got any tips on how to get a toddler to take Calpol when they hate and either spit it out or just refuse to open their mouth??

[quote neverbeenskiing]@Glassofshloer I only started my Master's in September and after getting a call from Nursery again this afternoon to say that DS has a fever, ive decided I'm going to knock it on the head. I just can't do it. DS hasn't managed a full week of Nursery for the last 6 weeks so I've basically been behind with my course from the word go. I'm going to request a leave of absence and hope that next year this awful phase will be behind us and I can pick it up again.

On a slightly unrelated note, anyone got any tips on how to get a toddler to take Calpol when they hate and either spit it out or just refuse to open their mouth?? [/quote]
Oh dear skiing 😞 and for fucks sake! I don’t blame you at all for deferring, I’m seriously considering it at the moment. It’s that or hope I scrape a pass which will be well below my true capabilities. Sometimes it’s a better long term choice.

As for the calpol, have you tried a spoon and a syringe? Sometimes DD prefers a spoon.

As for the calpol, have you tried a spoon and a syringe? Sometimes DD prefers a spoon.

Yep. He's having none of it! It's so frustrating because he's miserable and won't let me do the one thing that would probably make him feel better.

I hear you.
My youngest is 4. And only started nursery for the first time this January. She has a cough or cold every week for months. And at the height of the pandemic it just meant isolation and tests.

Then when she started nursery again in September after the holidays she was sick again for a few weeks. She been ok for the last few weeks but dreading winter.
Luckily the older one hasnt been too bad. But she was the same when younger. The first couple of years when they start nursery or school are the hardest and then it settles I've found.

Oh I feel you. I'm having exactly the same experience - constant illness, cannot keep up with work. My job is shit at the moment, I work four days but am actually doing about 5.5 days' work because we've made too many people redundant, so I have to do overtime anyway - but when I'm off looking after DS every week or two and then getting sick myself I simply can't keep up. Fuck knows what's in my inbox. I'm doing a terrible job and I know I'll be next in line for redundancy because of it.

Agree on missing the chance of socialising/getting outside too - last week we spent the two nice days inside waiting for PCR results, then free on the rainy day when we had no plans. I feel like this is it until March now, which is just too depressing.

Bookmarking.
Sorry that you've all been struggling. We're in an Ok place at the moment. DD has managed 100% attendance at nursery for the past month or so and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the worst is over. She started in June and had been ill pretty much non stop since. Thankfully I managed to finish my professional qualification while on mat leave, because there's no way I'd have managed while working and looking after sick DD. It's been intense. She's my PBF and every time she's ill I manage to convince myself it's something terrible. I have to sleep on the floor in her room and check on her during the night or I get really anxious. I was in a pretty dark place at one point and blamed myself because I was unable to BF and worried that this had compromised her immunity.
I'm hoping that after the initial shock of being exposed to all these other kids and their bugs, things will settle down.

@AngelDelight28 and and

Just for the record I bf DD and her immunity seems to be a lot worse than her bottle fed cousins - I don’t think it’s to do with that, I think it’s just genetics, luck and other things. So do not blame yourself!

I know what you mean about assuming the worst - I’m constantly checking for rashes, checking her oxygen levels with an oxymeter (!), constantly taking her temperature, checking she has weed etc. We once had an incredibly scary ambulance ride where the paramedic thought she may have sepsis and I basically haven’t recovered from that

You’re not alone xxx

@neverbeenskiing does your little one drink milk?

My DD absolutely refuses to let me give her meds too, as in holds her lips closed then just spits if our if I manage to her any in. So she still has milk in a bottle. I put it in there and she has no clue. Don't put too much milk though in case she doesn't drink it then you don't know how much she has. Worth a try!

We are on day 10 of a high temp and went back to the GP yesterday to check for an infection or something. She said it's still from the HFM. Just seems a really long time with a fever to me.

So done with this shit, just want to see her happy and playing again. All she's done for ten days is sit on my lap and watch hey duggee 😩

@Glassofshloer I check mine's oxygen too, we've had a couple of scary hospital stays and he always reacts badly to colds (suspected/assumed asthma). But it's really difficult to get an accurate reading, so half the time I'm even more anxious because it can't be as low as it's reading, but what if it is...? Gah.

@cookiesandcream24 That is a really long time with a fever, what a worry. We haven't had HFM yet (or Covid!) - so looking forward to them both 😭

It's 4am. I have just been vomited on by my 2 year old who now has daddy comforting her while I shower. Just so done with it all. And so tired. Poor kid, she's miserable too. She's been in nursery a year, ds for nearly 3 years. When does it get better?

Oh, my people - finally I've found you!!!!

DD (23m) has been in the nursery since September and has had a literal 50% success rate with actually attending. Every other week, come Saturday evening (it is ALWAYS Saturday evening) - she'll get high fever/diarrhea/vomit/cough... and on we go.

I feel humbled by all of you who have been battling this for a whole year (!!!) - I have no idea how are we going to cope if she doesn't grow some resistance. I am also sick and tired of all the PCR tests and battles to get a GP appointment. And yes - both of us are working.

@katmarie so annoying, it feels like the mythical immunity will never arrive doesn’t it it’s been 1 year 3 months at nursery for us & counting. We had a good couple of months August/September when I really thought she was improving but I think it was just lucky because since October it’s all come rushing back.

@DeepDown12 sorry you are experiencing this as well - odd about the Saturday night but I have read that elsewhere, kids that become ill on the same day every week. I really hope it doesn’t last a year for you.

The only thing that has helped slightly is using Nilaqua hand gel on DD’s hands before and after nursery/park etc. I must sound like I’m peddling the stuff but I have noticed a slight difference, just in case anyone wants to give it a go. It says it works for 7 hours but who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

I thought or was foolishly told ahhh by 3/4 your kid will be as strong as a ox due to nursery germs.

So I gritted my teeth as every bug came home and infected us all, and then obviously I had to take time off work to look after LO and obviously still pay that days Nursey bill plus keep them home with infection periods (since you still pay even if they are sick) and started to wonder if I would ever get a full pay packet. Sometimes my manager would let me use my holiday when she was in a good mood but mostly she was annoyed i wasn't there.
Family helped where they could, bam lockdown and I feel like I'm at ground zero again.

Spent the night with throwing up 3year old sobbing because she was so tired but just could not stop vommitting.

I can't wait to get our 30 "free" hours 🙄 and get her send home all the time due to bugs she caught at nursery but at least only pay half the astonishing amount we do now.

I can't wait to get our 30 "free" hours 🙄 and get her send home all the time due to bugs she caught at nursery but at least only pay half the astonishing amount we do now same here. In my head the 30 free hours is "this is how much time your child hasn't gone to nursery due to sick bugs" reimbursement!

Ohhhhh this thread 😭😭😭

I feel for every single one of you. Genuinely thought it got better by the time they 2 or 3. So sorry you're all still battling with it.

Roll on spring? And hope for better times then. Sorry it's the best I can come up with 😟

@Glassofshloer where do you get this hand gel? Is it just a boots jobby? Worth a try if it's not expensive!!

www.boots.com/nilaqua-little-hands-sanitiser-55ml-10232110?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--PLAs_HeroCompare--Toiletries_Personal_Care-_-UK_Smart_Shopping_Toiletries_Personal_Care&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhMOMBhDhARIsAPVml-HJUoWGZ8aTFaj-HtnDbV4z5rXOVmHEGAdJF0WxhQHjkaOAaRrTHS4aAg97EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Not cheap-cheap but one bottle lasts a while. Nice thing is it’s the only hand gel that hasn’t dried my hands out or left them gritty/smelling of rubbing alcohol!

@cowburp this coupled with the news 30 free hours isn't actually free the bill will essentially half. Because the nursery charge a surplus fee for lunch (2hrs) and only allow us to use the free hours up until 3pm then obviously you have to pay for any extra hours charged as a silly rate, and a extra fee which they don't seem to be able to account for what it is, admin ?!

I didn't mind paying extra when DD was a wee one because I though ahh well it's to subsidise the 30 free hours kids but it will be our turn soon enough. Hahahah laugh with me now girls.

Also a mum told me that when your on 30 free hours the nursery is more likely to send your kiddo home at the slightest sign of a sniffle as they don't make as much from those kids.

Then we get letters preaching about the exact food allowed in lunch box's, there are literally food plans we have to stick to as the ban list of food is so long it goes on for 3 pages of a A4 side of paper. Bread is the most recent one to be added (brown or white) and at this point I feel like sticking head in vat of acid and be done with it. The nursery has a excellent ofstead which is why we have hung on in, she gets great care while she's there.

It's just she's not there often due to bugs.