AIBU with street begging?

[2389Champ]

Walking around our town yesterday, I was asked by three different people sitting on the pavement, for spare change. All without exception young and as far as I could see - although I could be wrong - pretty healthy looking and clean. Not the usual haggard, worn look of the homeless.

There were also quite a few shops/cafes with notices asking for staff. Maybe just seasonal, but still work.
I was very tempted to go back to these youngsters and point out nicely there were employment opportunities and had they seen them? Not from an outrage point of view but as a genuine suggestion. DH talked me out of it and said I was in danger of turning into a DM reader and that it would be construed as interference or being a busy body.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat.

I’ve had the best of pretty much everything in my life. Kind parents, enough money, good school, nice and copious food, University, nice husband. Jobs and houses and opportunities and warm, fluffy beds and holidays. I’ve never thought “I can’t be arsed with work today, I’ll just sit on this cold pavement and beg a bit”. That’s not how any of this works.

If those people are begging for spare change there are big problems going on, even if they “look clean” or “seem healthy”. Chuck them a couple of quid and STFU, or if you actually give a shit, as well as throwing them a bit of change give money to or volunteer with a charity like Shelter too. As for that you “just buy them a sandwich” like you’re so morally bloody untouchable, get a grip. If I was cold and outside all the time and sleeping in a doorway, I would want some booze. I don’t think I’m better than that. Get off your high horse. HTH.

Tbh I think your husband had a point!very few people understand homelessness. It's not as easy as get a job.self worth is on the floor with you when you are on the pavement. When dm was ill a lovely guy and his dog selling bi would talk to us and let mum stroke his dog. One day I sat with his dog for a few minutes while he got some water for her.boy It felt like I had got an invisibility cloak! Please don't judge this guy had alcohol issues ,others had been in care and so on .be thankful you have a nice warm home and mc lifestyle when so many dont

OP -
If you are genuinely interested you have a couple of options. Talk to the person and ask them about their circumstances, have a chat. Or
Go to a charity website like Shelter or Centrepoint and read some of what they e written about homelessness and the people they support. Lots on there about why someone who is homeless might look ‘healthy’ or be clean. Or why they have a mobile phone.
Centrepoint supports going people who are homeless in particular, so they’d be good to talk to about why a teenager might be be begging in the street and why they aren’t just living with their lovely, generous nan or uncle or a family friend…

Centrepoint = young people

I have a friend who used to work in Centrepoint and according to him almost all the kids they dealt with were either previously in care - which ends at 18 anyway and your on your own - , or had fled abusive homes.

So many gullible and naive people in this thread. That's why there are so many beggars - because "bleeding hearts" give them money
Help charities that help the homeless. Don't support professional beggars.

We sat next to friends of friends who worked in this area that’s what they said too

At a dinner I should have said

Is this a joke thread? Its hard to believe that there are still people that dont know care leavers dont get housing benefit, and homeless young people with no experience dont get offered jobs

A young homeless woman in my town died, and there were lots of comments on the Facebook page saying "where are her family?!" etc. Her family then did a local news response, saying that she had a warm bed at home, they had begged her to come back etc but she made the choice to stay on the streets with her "community" (other addicts). A homeless charity spokesman said that many on the streets actually are not homeless, but leave their accommodation empty to join others on the streets as it allows them to access drugs more quickly due to people giving them money. It's a very complex issue that giving £2/a sandwich/stick of deodorant certainly isn't going to solve.

@SweetBabyCheeses99

I don’t think you’re BU. In order to not have a bank account nowadays you’d have to have never had one at all. It doesn’t get closed because you’re temporarily homeless. Do you need a fixed address to get a job? Yes theoretically, but I don’t see why as my employer have never posted me anything! Just use your last address.

In order to be homeless you have to have upset every single friend, relative and family member to the point where they would rather see you sleep rough than temporarily house you whilst your find a new job.

I struggle to empathise with that because I don’t think that it’s possible to find yourself in this situation where you have irretrievably alienated everyone who cares about you, without you being partly responsible. Even if the rest of the circumstances you’re in are purely bad luck, you’d have to be a complete dick/addict for no one to help you.

Regarding the family/friends thing - a lot of people in this situation don't have a network of family and friends, that's part of what has led to this situation.

For example, care leavers. They don't have a safety net after 18 unlike other people.

People with MH problems or physical health - I know speaking for myself I've lost about 80% of my friends because I don't go out any more because I cannot walk far without pain. It's not due to being a dick, it's due to things dramatically changing from when I used to go out to pubs, friends houses, shopping etc.

I feel like you missed the whole point.

Homelessness often doesn't happen as a snap thing. It's a slow deterioration of resources and so on.

A lot of people don't have friends like that. Or friend who have anywhere you can sleep. A lot of people in studio flats or HMOs, or places where you will lose your own tenanacy if you have someone else stay. Open your eyes.

@Squeezita

In order to be homeless you have to have upset every single friend, relative and family member to the point where they would rather see you sleep rough than temporarily house you whilst your find a new job.

I struggle to empathise with that because I don’t think that it’s possible to find yourself in this situation where you have irretrievably alienated everyone who cares about you, without you being partly responsible. Even if the rest of the circumstances you’re in are purely bad luck, you’d have to be a complete dick/addict for no one to help you.

This is a very simplistic and heartless view. What about mental health issues? Abusive parents? Sometimes people alienate themselves from others not because they’re a dick/addict but because they don’t feel they can talk about what they’re going through and it’s easier to just withdraw.

It’s a slippery slope that many people, good and bad, can fall down.

@Squeezita thank you for writing this.

Our homeless local lad definitely sleeps in a doorway every night.
Someone told me his DM left when he was 17 with a new man from a private rented address, he had to leave.
He has no-one he is 22 addicted to crack, there is none or minimal help in Ireland for addicts.
The placements that are available thresholds are impossible for an addict to reach alone.
I think they've to be down to a certain amount of the medical heroin substitute before they'll get on a list.

One of my friends who was street homeless hated ham sandwiches. Every day, people would literally buy him ham sandwiches, sometimes 5 of them, and he would have to throw them away or give them away... he always used to say he wished someone would buy tuna. Maybe it sounds picky but think of something you hate eating, and imagine being pissed off, cold and outside and someone buying that/spending money on it. He would keep telling people not to buy ham sandiwches but I'm sure they saw him as ungrateful.

I think ham was bought as it was the cheapest one in the shop he was by.

Some of the comments on this thread are orientated around getting a job. Loads of people in this situ have been thru so much they aren't going to be able to hold a job immediately in a million years.

Personally I think the focus should be on setting someone up in a place where their rent is covered and paid directly. It's a lot to ask someone to manage all of that when they haven't for a long time, to budget and so on.

Maybe somewhere where all bills are included. Somewhere stable.

And to claim benefits for the timebeing to give them months breathing space to try to sort everything out. Not forever, but to give someone a chance to get better.

I wish there were no homeless people in this country.

It is an area very close to my heart. It really upsets me when I see people criticising or making assumptions. As someone else on this thread posted, sometimes people have no idea what other people have been through.

@EmeraldShamrock

Our homeless local lad definitely sleeps in a doorway every night. Someone told me his DM left when he was 17 with a new man from a private rented address, he had to leave. He has no-one he is 22 addicted to crack, there is none or minimal help in Ireland for addicts. The placements that are available thresholds are impossible for an addict to reach alone. I think they've to be down to a certain amount of the medical heroin substitute before they'll get on a list.

That shouldn't be the case - talk about setting people up to fail. I think people need housing first and then focus on the other things. How are you meant to sort the other things out when you're sleeping in a doorway? So hard. It's silly as well bc why should it matter if someone was on 100ml of methadone or 30ml in terms of a tenancy?

Jesus! Compassion bypass alert!

I wouldn’t do this because I don’t know their story or circumstances. They’re may be many reasons that could be preventing them from getting employment. They may have criminal records or addiction issues which may harm their chances of getting a job. I hope this doesn’t sound judgemental, I know this is not true for all of them but I just wouldn’t approach them assuming that getting a job is an option for them

@skybluee its hopeless.
There are so many young people on the street there's no housing available for working families never mind the poor homeless.

Volunteer charities were supplying soup sandwiches, unfortunately one of the main leaders was sexually abusing clients, now soup runs are being halted.
These people are very vulnerable.
Lots undiagnosed with non NT illnesse and left to suffer.

I give change wherever I have some. It's less now, because I pay mostly with contactless and doubt usually have change on me. I don't care or judge what they buy. There for the grace of God and so on.

We also have a direct debit for Shelter, but every homeless person feels safe in a shelter, and not every homeless person wants to go there or sometimes they can't because they have dogs.

I don't give to professional beggars or tissue beggars though. They are easy enough to spot.

In order to be homeless you have to have upset every single friend, relative and family member to the point where they would rather see you sleep rough than temporarily house you

Sometimes people have left a situation grim enough that even though horrible things happen to them, rough sleeping reduces the amount of things happening and is generally massively safer and far less distressing.

Don't assume people start out in life having family and friends to alienate. Many don't.

You can start out in life with nothing, and still have all of it later on!

I wonder how many job interviews you have attended as a person of no fixed abode OP?
Or how you think potential employers usually respond when told by an applicant that they have no address, so cannot supply it for the standard checks?

Get off your high horse

I have given money in the past but very rarely have it on me anymore. The last woman I gave it to was very strung out but obviously desperate, sitting out for money wouldn't be good time. If I have change on me and give it away then there are no strings attached.

The only thing that sticks out here is the use of homeless; people with a roof over their head can still be classed as homeless. Sofa surfers, people living hostels, dry houses, people who are living in overcrowded homes, etc (none of these positions are great living conditions, I know but they're not sleeping literally on the streets). It is usually rough sleepers who are actually sleeping on the streets, car parks and at the mercy of the weather and people who want to do the harm simply for being a rough sleeper. I have addiction issues with alcohol and could easily imagine myself being in their position.

Homeless charities are pretty clear that you shouldn't give money to street beggars. They're the ones who've already rejected the help on offer. I'd sooner listen to the charities. Especially as the ones around here are very aggressive and start swearing at you when you walk past, so I've lost any sympathy really. My children don't need to hear me being called "a stupid fucking whore".

With all respect OP you sound very naive. They are probably tidy looking because there are plenty of homeless shelters that allow opportunity to shower etc.