AIBU with street begging?

[2389Champ]

Walking around our town yesterday, I was asked by three different people sitting on the pavement, for spare change. All without exception young and as far as I could see - although I could be wrong - pretty healthy looking and clean. Not the usual haggard, worn look of the homeless.

There were also quite a few shops/cafes with notices asking for staff. Maybe just seasonal, but still work.
I was very tempted to go back to these youngsters and point out nicely there were employment opportunities and had they seen them? Not from an outrage point of view but as a genuine suggestion. DH talked me out of it and said I was in danger of turning into a DM reader and that it would be construed as interference or being a busy body.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat.

I give cash, I also give food and keep several bags of toiletries, socks, gloves, undies etc... in my car. Depends what situation I am in to distribute, I never judge, I have never walked in their shoes, the homeless always make me want to cry, they were someone's baby once.

I don't care what they spend the money on. Who the hell am I to judge? So what if they spend it on drugs or booze?

In Wolvo we have all sorts.

Obvious drug addicts, 'commuters' who bus in from another area and just helpless, hapless souls wandering around with no hope of employment and no social support.

We have a contactless booth, where we can tap our debit cards and give £3.

So you expect a young person who is homeless, with all of the complexities surround that (lack of support network, physical and mental health difficulties, possible substance related issues) - You expect them to simply walk into a job, to be hired, and to be able to handle that and hold down that job?

As if it never occured to them that it might be good to get a job and all they needed was a friendly stranger to point at a window?

As if there's no other reason why they struggle?

You are living in cuckoo land and have no clue.

Many clean and attractive people have untreated or under-treated mental health issues which preclude working in paid employment. After years of austerity, there is no help or support on offer, or if there is, it's so over-subscribed and understaffed that it might as well not exist. And, of course, it's perfectly possible to be in employment in this country and still not be able to afford a home, or to not be able to heat the home they have. These beggars you're worried about might be killing time trying to scratch up enough money for the gas meter at home or a night in a hostel before their shift in the stockroom at Next. Again, you can thank austerity for all of this.

So, we've established why these unfortunate but clean and attractive characters might be asking for your change rather than preparing for their interview at Waterstones. Do you think you'd feel better about helping them if they scruffed up a bit, maybe rubbed a bit of soil over their face?

they’re still asking on the assumption that passer by has money to spare.

I've never met a homeless person who assumes I have money to spare. In general they ask a question, and people are free to help if they can.

You’ll get a slap …

Oh you knob.

I don’t mind if they spend my couple of quid on alcohol or whatever else gets them through the night. Wouldn’t swap places for all the tea in China.

You go tell them to get a job though. Super.

It is a real problem knowing who is genuine. In Cheltenham there are usually 3 or 4 people sitting asking for money along the Promenade. Each of them will tell you not to give to the others because they are scammers.

How do those begging not know that the person walking by isn’t down to their last penny, about to lose their home, their job, their life but they’re still asking on the assumption that passer by has money to spare.

Are you?
Are you on your last penny, about to lose your home, your job, your life?

DH talked me out of it and said I was in danger of turning into a DM reader and that it would be construed as interference or being a busy body.

You're DH is wrong.
You're already there.

@violetanemone

So you expect a young person who is homeless, with all of the complexities surround that (lack of support network, physical and mental health difficulties, possible substance related issues) - You expect them to simply walk into a job, to be hired, and to be able to handle that and hold down that job?

As if it never occured to them that it might be good to get a job and all they needed was a friendly stranger to point at a window?

As if there's no other reason why they struggle?

You are living in cuckoo land and have no clue.

I did qualify my OP stating “I could be wrong” Without asking (or intruding) I wouldn’t know their particular circumstances so before you pile in, I wasn’t stating that all homeless people are on the make.

Worth bearing in mind many became homeless because of substance abuse/alcohol abuse first. The majority in our area are ex servicemen who have been let down by the system or those with MH issues who fell victim of the misnamed ‘care in the community’

Whether on the make or not though it’s so officious and pompous to go telling them about job opportunities

So is buying them sandwiches!

I did qualify my OP stating “I could be wrong”

You did. And then in subsequent posts made wildly ignorant statements.

Oh bully for you, next run for prime minister as you have all the answers.
Not everyone is a scammer and returns home to a warm bed.

Our local homeless lad sets up his blankets when the shop closes at 22.30 they store his blankets, he is about 23 strung out on crack and heroin.
My heart breaks for him, what circumstances brought him to sleep in a doorway, he could get a hostel miles away chasing a bed down every day.
Neighbours leave him sandwiches and tea.

There are tents in the local park where working men live because they can't afford rent.
Volunteers bring flasks of hot drinks in the winter.
Have some humanity OP.

Blimey! And there was me thinking DM readers were the ones who were stuck in an extreme mindset and intolerant of others.

As with any level of society, there’s the genuine ones and there’s the scammers. Sometimes it’s very hard to tell them apart.

I think this is one of the most arrogant OP's I've read on here.

Buying food for homeless people is normally recommended because there are, sadly, scammers that pretend to be homeless to raise cash.
Genuine homeless people need practical support from people who understand the complexities more than anything.

@2389Champ that's twice now you've used 'DM reader' as an insult. You come across as very angry and strange.

Stop being so judgmental and intolerant.

I was very tempted to go back to these youngsters and point out nicely there were employment opportunities and had they seen them? Not from an outrage point of view but as a genuine suggestion.

Laughing at you thinking these youngsters might just not have "seen" the vast array of employment opportunities waiting for them.

They might be living in suported/hostel accommodation where basic rent can be £250+ per week and sadly working would mean they couldn't afford to keep the roof over their heads.
Its crazy as it means so many people are stuck on benefits while they try to find affordable housing to move into, which is definitely no easy task at the best of times, let alone at the moment.

Your husband is correct. Think more. Speak less.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat.

Well its nice that you buy them a sandwich. But so what if they spend any money given to them on drink?
They don't have a fucking house!
If a bottle of whiskey gives them a few hours respite from whatever hell they are currently going through, so what.

I get that some are not genuinely homeless. But some are. And to be honest if anyone is begging on the street all day, homeless or not, they are probably more in need of the odd fiver than I am.

Sigh.

I think this thread has run its course.

Thank you for your opinions, I did ask for them and I certainly got them.

And so what if they are homeless due to substance issues op? Should we just leave them to suffer since it’s their fault? I’m an addictions worker about 1/3 of my caseload are homeless the vast majority of them have massive trauma and mental health issues that pre-date their addiction. Also as I said earlier those who are alcohol dependent or benzodiazepine dependent will die without it and treatment of the homeless isn’t simple (and practically non existent for benzos since they take months to withdraw from) so I’m grateful everyday that my clients manage to scrounge up enough cash to avoid seizures.

You get genuine homeless people and you get professional beggars. One used to rock up near my workplace, sat there for the day, if you gave them food or a hot drink they chucked it away only wanted money, then back in the car home. So you never can tell