AIBU with street begging?

[2389Champ]

Walking around our town yesterday, I was asked by three different people sitting on the pavement, for spare change. All without exception young and as far as I could see - although I could be wrong - pretty healthy looking and clean. Not the usual haggard, worn look of the homeless.

There were also quite a few shops/cafes with notices asking for staff. Maybe just seasonal, but still work.
I was very tempted to go back to these youngsters and point out nicely there were employment opportunities and had they seen them? Not from an outrage point of view but as a genuine suggestion. DH talked me out of it and said I was in danger of turning into a DM reader and that it would be construed as interference or being a busy body.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat.

A lot if the people who beg on my hometown are not homeless
They are professional beggars

Big difference

I think Yabu. I get what you mean of a sandwich and a cuppa over money that ‘could’ be spent on booze or drugs, but then I think if I was rough sleeping or homeless, I’d probably be taking drugs or drinking, for warmth, distraction or just so I wouldn’t be so terrified.

It’s also incredibly difficult to get work when you don’t have a fixed address, and when you have the homeless ‘look’. Very few business are willing to take a chance on the underdog.

Think you also need to remember a lot of people have invisible illnesses such as severe mental health problems. I recall reading a statistic that 2/3rd of homeless people have been in the care system that practically boots them out with no real support at 16/18, they’ve been systematically let down.

Others, i think it’s worthwhile us ‘normal’ ‘everyday’ folk remembering we have far more in common with the homeless/ rough sleepers/ beggars than we do with the likes of Bojo, the billionaires and the elite. Most of us are just one or two poor decisions or horrible life events from a similar fate.

I work in central London and there is definitely some shipping in early morning - generally easy to spot (change clothes down side streets and hide from police cars) arrive in groups, then disperse out etc.)
But also got chatting to 2 people who I helped regularly (not seen them for a while and hope they are ok) they found themselves in difficult circumstances - it was scary how quickly they became homeless.

@CorrBlimeyGG

How about asking the person what they need? Toiletries aren't much help if you don't have a bathroom and you have nowhere to keep them.

I wouldn't ask them what they need either. Some of these homeless people have a lot of and it can be intimidating.

Some will give you a long list from M&S. One man approached me and I told him I didn't have any cash... he asked me to pay on my card! I did but I thought he had utter cheek tbh!

How are they supposed to get a job when they don’t have anywhere to live op?

It’s a massive part of the employment process.

we have a chap who sits outside our Asda. People give him money, sandwiches, coffee, people who don't have much themselves. He lives in a flat round the corner. He also sits outside the shop i work at and when people buy him stuff he brings it back in to try to get the money back. We don't let him. He is a parasite who spoils it for people genuinely in need.
Just donate to homeless charities, it helps and no judgement needed.

Sometimes homeless people prefer to sleep rough as hostels or places for the homeless are more dangerous than the streets.
They are kicked out at a certain time in the morning with nowhere to go and have to be in by a certain time. If they are 5 minutes late, tough luck. Some homeless people do have jobs, I was reading on a Facebook soup kitchen page, one guy goes to work every day and sleeps rough every night. How the f is that fair?
As pp said there are a lot of issues that can cause homelessness and none of us know what's around the corner. Frightening.
I don't give money to individuals but do give to soup kitchens as they know the right support to give to individuals.

They are feeding a drug habit most of the time. By giving them money you are doing it for them.

lot if the people who beg on my hometown are not homeless
They are professional beggars
Yes we're all aware of groups who are professional beggars, my senses and experience make it easier for me to identify someone who is clearly living on the street over someone who eats breakfast and leaves the house with a cup.
But telling either to get a job is ridiculous.
Even the professional beggars are under control by someone I don't think it is a lifestyle choice for those either, no doubt some fat cat takes their earnings.

When I worked for a housing charity we did outreach and a of street people technically were housed but had various other issues - mental health, substance, cuckooing that lead to them being on the street

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat

It's probably this kind of judgemental attitude that resulted in you posting this utter nonsense in the first place.

How do you know they want a sandwich?

Just because a job is available doesn't mean you can just walk into it.

Wow you sound a delight. How about spending a couple of nights on the streets in this weather, see how you feel then?

@Clementineapples

I’ve been homeless. How can you get a job with no fixed address? I don’t know if times have changed but when I was on the streets I couldn’t sign on, couldn’t apply for work or do anything as had no address. I was also young, 16. Yes I spent any money on alcohol, it’s warming, filling and blocks out the shitness of it all.

I hope you're in a better place now.

That must've been a very tough time for you.

@2389Champ

All fair points - thank you.

I’m thankful I have never been in that situation and I wasn’t out to attack anyone. I just didn’t understand- or appreciate - how the system works. You’ve enlightened me hugely.

Did you think they were begging and homeless as an easy option?

How have you got to adult hood without understanding the reasons behind homelessness? How can you be so unenlightened?

I did qualify my OP stating “I could be wrong” Without asking (or intruding) I wouldn’t know their particular circumstances so before you pile in, I wasn’t stating that all homeless people are on the make.
Worth bearing in mind many became homeless because of substance abuse/alcohol abuse first. The majority in our area are ex servicemen who have been let down by the system or those with MH issues who fell victim of the misnamed ‘care in the community

You basically started a thread with the gist being "why can't I just tell a homeless person to get a job?" and you're surprised at people "piling in"?

It's complicated, that's why. You obviously know very little about homelessness and need to think before you speak. I'm glad your husband pulled you out of that situation before you possibly damaged the mental health of a young person who is probably already pretty broken.

I think YABU, there are some people who are 'professional beggars' but tbh I don't think many people beg for money who don't absolutely need to, you don't get well off people begging for money.

I used to volunteer for a homeless shelter, we did breakfast and dinner, they could sleep in if they wanted to and if we had the space, we had computers so they could search the internet, play games and work on their cv's etc, and we gave them an address so they could apply for jobs. Some of these people were living on the streets, but not all of them were, some were sofa surfing, some had places to live but had family issues, some even had jobs, but didn't earn that much. I was surprised when I started as most of the people I met weren't what I expected, but they were all in need of help regardless of whether they were 'homeless enough' in my own head.

I used to work nights in the town I lived in, so it was easy to spot who were genuinely homeless vs bussed in by gangs in the morning. I'd see the ones who were getting dropped off, and which ones were sleeping in doorways in the cold and rain.

If you have suspicions, check out how much they are carrying with them. The genuine homeless on our town were quite weighed down with duvet/sleeping bag and bags of clothes, because they couldn't risk leaving them somewhere to be stolen.

There are sings in the carriages on my nearest tube line (actually London Overground) asking people not to give money. (A charity that helps the homeless is suggested instead.) I suppose there are good reasons why someone has bothered to put up such signs.

I saw a mini-rant by Jordan Peterson recently where he talked about dealing with people who had just spent three days sleeping in a ditch. They had been doing OK for a while prior to that, what had happened? Well, they were alcohol or drug addicts, and had suddenly received some money...

If I was homeless I'd want to be drunk or off my head on drugs. Block the reality of my life out.

Usually I ask them what they want / need if I don't have any cash. One man wanted a warm coat for his dog. So that's what he got. Plus a bottle of whisky for himself as it was freezing, he didn't ask for that, but he was grateful for it.

@RandomLondoner

There are sings in the carriages on my nearest tube line (actually London Overground) asking people not to give money. (A charity that helps the homeless is suggested instead.) I suppose there are good reasons why someone has bothered to put up such signs.

I saw a mini-rant by Jordan Peterson recently where he talked about dealing with people who had just spent three days sleeping in a ditch. They had been doing OK for a while prior to that, what had happened? Well, they were alcohol or drug addicts, and had suddenly received some money...

Oh yeah, I'm sure if homeless people don't get money for three days, then they stop their addictions and get clean.

No way would they be driven to shop lifting or theft. They'd just stop!

You've not dealt with an addict have you?

The reason for the signs were to keep the homeless off their patch, move them them on so they're not on our doorstep.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat. If you found yourself on the streets and someone gave you money, can you honestly say you wouldn't spend it on alcohol or drugs which would make you feel warm and would help you forget the situation you have found yourself in? I certainly would.

People assume people are homeless because they drink or take drugs. However they don't consider that may be they drink or take drugs because they are homeless.

And as much as some people like to say it is alcohol or drug dependent people's fault, it isn't always the case. I have met many homeless people whose own parent had given them their first dose of heroin when they were barely a teenager.

If you choose to buy something rather than donate, consider asking them what they would like. It is also helpful to know where there are shelters or places homeless people can go to receive help in your town so you can direct them there.

Donate to Crisis or one of your local homeless charities. I'd not give money to street beggars as there is no guarantee the money is being used in any way that will help them.

@StoneofDestiny

Donate to Crisis or one of your local homeless charities. I'd not give money to street beggars as there is no guarantee the money is being used in any way that will help them.

I do both but I don't judge the person I. The street. When I donate I assume I'm getting the through that day or night.

I also cook for "warming up the homeless".

There are plenty of people who think it’s funny to play tricks on or harm homeless people. They have a lot of reasons to be suspicious of a random sandwich handed to them by a stranger.

Always impressed though by these people who manage to be near a food outlet every time they see a homeless person and have time to duck in and buy them a sandwich - even more so that you’ll also be able to pick up a deoderant the next few times.

As other have said - donate the money you’re ‘generally’ spending on sandwiches to a homeless charity if you’re concerned about how your spare change might be used.