AIBU with street begging?

[2389Champ]

Walking around our town yesterday, I was asked by three different people sitting on the pavement, for spare change. All without exception young and as far as I could see - although I could be wrong - pretty healthy looking and clean. Not the usual haggard, worn look of the homeless.

There were also quite a few shops/cafes with notices asking for staff. Maybe just seasonal, but still work.
I was very tempted to go back to these youngsters and point out nicely there were employment opportunities and had they seen them? Not from an outrage point of view but as a genuine suggestion. DH talked me out of it and said I was in danger of turning into a DM reader and that it would be construed as interference or being a busy body.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat.

This thread inspired me to deliver a hot water bottle and an old sleeping bag to our local homeless chap.
It was a selfish good deed before I get accused of virtue signalling, I'm happy he was happy.

We used to do outreach stuff through work with a homeless charity focussed on supporting rough sleepers.

They were extremely honest with us that almost all longer term rough sleepers had major substance abuse issues and that a high proportion totally rejected a lot of help offered, beyond the basic immediate supply of food or short term shelter in inclement weather. Many were not accessing much of the support available, both financial & otherwise, despite being offered help to access it.

They had an aim to identify anyone newly rough sleeping asap and get them away from that environment because they were the people for whom their help was most likely to make meaningful difference.

The OP is a classic example of why the tories are in power and always will be. If you're poor the solution is 'just work harder'.

Generally, I buy a sandwich for the homeless rather than give money as it often gets spent on alcohol and I’d rather they at least had something to eat

You said it. That's why they don't / can't get jobs. Would you employ someone who was addicted to drugs or alcohol to work in your cafe or shop?

I think pointing people in the direction of jobs is not helpful. People can look healthy and ckean they may have spent the night in a house or shleter. Its not just about not having money, often people in those situations have very complex life situations; addiction, poor mental health, trauma etc. One thing affects another and its a bit more nuanced than pointing them in direction of paid employment.

I do donate money directly to the person if I can sometimes reaching a charity is easier said than done. Who am I to police the choices of an adult. If people are addicted to drugs or alcohol maybe its a response to being freezing cold or just to escape. Im not sure I wouldn't take drugs if life dealt me that hand. There but for the grace of God go I and all that. I don't think 50p or a quid here and there is hoing to make a massive difference to someone's addiction. They will get their fix come what may. It sort of infantilises people.

The general advice about homeless is to not even give them a sandwich -- they usually have plenty of food. They may not have plenty of motive to engage with services, though.

I'm still struck by a begging lad (looked ~17) who I met in London not long back. He said he was waiting for a hostel place. I gave him a pound coin but also just chatted. How bad must your self-esteem get if all you can do to get along in life is beg. Especially for idealistic youngsters. They want to change the world & can't even reform their own lives. I suspect they need to get little reminders that people care & hope they can find a way to a better life.

People who give money to beggars are a big part of the problem. Give it to a homeless charity.

@sst1234

They are feeding a drug habit most of the time. By giving them money you are doing it for them.

I had a discussion about this with a patient of mine once. He was an ex addict who lived on the streets until the street Pastors helped him get the medical support he needed to get clean and a diagnosis which then led to a bed in a mh setting. He said that if you give a homeless addict money they will most likely spend it on their addiction. If you give them a sandwich they'll eat it and then mug someone to feed the habit. It changed how I view donating.

@Imtootired

I guess we never know peoples full stories. I have some people who are always asking for money at the shop near me and sometimes it’s a bit annoying but I’ve never walked a day in their shoes.

When you need your next fix (hard drugs) you'll do whatever it takes.

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

So many people say that. I won't give money, I'll only give food otherwise they'll buy alcohol or drugs.

Well yes. They might. If I was homeless I'd probably want to numb myself to the misery too.

But also, you can't run a sandwich on your armpits to freshen them up. You can't clean your teeth with a sandwich. If you have a headache you can't take 2 sandwiches and give it half an hour. If you're a woman you can't use a sandwich as a tampon etc etc.

A homeless person doesn't need 20 or 30 sandwiches a day. They need a variety of supplies.

There's homeless shelters, they shouldn't be begging for money on the street.

@User135644

People who give money to beggars are a big part of the problem. Give it to a homeless charity.

Please do explain your rationale? I absolutely disagree that my getting someone through the night is adding to homelessness!

@User135644 you're clearly very unenlightened to think that homeless shelters have an infinite amount of free beds!

Please do explain your rationale? I absolutely disagree that my getting someone through the night is adding to homelessness!

I'm not talking about some poor soul sleeping rough on the street. I'm referring to the people walking around town centres hassling people for money (i.e. 'street begging').

People are adding to the problem by giving them money and are financing organised grime. THey may as well give the money straight to the local drug dealer.

Great idea, OP.

After you've finished telling the homeless people that there are jobs available perhaps you could start informing random fat people that there are gyms in the area.

Thank you for the compassion on this thread. It is really really nice to see people not judging and trying to understand what might have led to this and what it might be like.

@millymolls

A lot if the people who beg on my hometown are not homeless They are professional beggars

Big difference

Yes have seen this too.

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

So many people say that. I won't give money, I'll only give food otherwise they'll buy alcohol or drugs.

Well yes. They might. If I was homeless I'd probably want to numb myself to the misery too.

But also, you can't run a sandwich on your armpits to freshen them up. You can't clean your teeth with a sandwich. If you have a headache you can't take 2 sandwiches and give it half an hour. If you're a woman you can't use a sandwich as a tampon etc etc.

A homeless person doesn't need 20 or 30 sandwiches a day. They need a variety of supplies.

Wholeheartedly agree with this. I give homeless people money. It’s up to them what they spend it on, whether that food, supplies, drugs or alcohol. It’s not up to me to tell them what they need.

Hate it when people pile on.

The OP has given a very gracious and polite response to others telling her she’s not quite right on this. That should be respected.

And if nothing else- well done HSBC for such a forward thinking idea on the bank accounts front. They weren’t a great bank for me in my student days but this shows some great thinking from them.

Need an address and bank account to get a job, not to mention stable or close to it mental health which id argue if you are destitute enough to live on the street then your mental health isn't going to be in the best place. What's the likely outcome of this scenario? They know there are jobs out there homeless people aren't idiots, it's not as easy as walking into a shop or cafe and applying when you literally don't have money to afford a packet of crisps let alone an outfit for an interview, a passport for proof of identity, bus fair to get to the interview. Really privileged perspective you have there and quite patronising. Even if they look nice and healthy, they are sitting on the street begging strangers for money, they aren't, clearly in a good place. And also, I hate this superiority people have with I'll give you money but I'll tell you what you should spend it on. Only food please, no alcohol or drugs. I think if I was homeless living on the street in November, and had some money from a stranger and could by alcohol to help me forget how shit my life was for a minute, I'd do it a heartbeat. Don't be so judgemental.

@Theunamedcat

Its nearly Christmas begging historically has been a way to make fast money in time to pay for Christmas I left some new age travellers (friends of mine) alone for a couple of hours while I went to an interview they made a few hundred pounds and paid for the shopping all they did was sit and ask people for money they had food bought she had clothing bought for her his dog had a meal people can be generous

Sadly you can usually tell the genuine ones. Look at their hands. If you are properly homeless it's almost impossible to get ingrained dirt out of your hands and nails. It's not the sort of thing you can fake easily. People with accommodation using begging as a income don't help the ones who are genuine.

Actually, that’s a very good point.

*I’ll buy toiletries of some sort next time. Thank you - you’ve really opened my eyes

You still don’t get it so no, your eyes haven’t opened. Don’t assume what they need. Ask them.

I’m guessing your virtue signalling (a sandwich for ‘the homeless’ - whoop whoop) didn’t work so you’ve run off.

I don’t think you’re BU. In order to not have a bank account nowadays you’d have to have never had one at all. It doesn’t get closed because you’re temporarily homeless.
Do you need a fixed address to get a job? Yes theoretically, but I don’t see why as my employer have never posted me anything! Just use your last address.

In order to be homeless you have to have upset every single friend, relative and family member to the point where they would rather see you sleep rough than temporarily house you whilst your find a new job.

I struggle to empathise with that because I don’t think that it’s possible to find yourself in this situation where you have irretrievably alienated everyone who cares about you, without you being partly responsible. Even if the rest of the circumstances you’re in are purely bad luck, you’d have to be a complete dick/addict for no one to help you.

I personally wouldn’t give money. As much as they do have the choice what they spend it on I Wouldn’t like the thought of Any money I have contributing potentially to someone’s drug overdose. But that’s just my personal opinion.

I do support foodbank, and women’s aid charities.

Perhaps more accessible services for people could help. Cut backs have led to very poor provision for mental health services/local authority support.

Rather than getting het up about whether they buy a greggs sausage roll, a quarter litre of vodka, or a bar of soap with our spare change, perhaps we should all worry about what’s happened to these vital services.
And how services can be resourced to intervene for these people and provide support beyond their next meal.

In order to be homeless you have to have upset every single friend, relative and family member to the point where they would rather see you sleep rough than temporarily house you whilst your find a new job.

I struggle to empathise with that because I don’t think that it’s possible to find yourself in this situation where you have irretrievably alienated everyone who cares about you, without you being partly responsible. Even if the rest of the circumstances you’re in are purely bad luck, you’d have to be a complete dick/addict for no one to help you.

This is a very simplistic and heartless view. What about mental health issues? Abusive parents? Sometimes people alienate themselves from others not because they’re a dick/addict but because they don’t feel they can talk about what they’re going through and it’s easier to just withdraw.

It’s a slippery slope that many people, good and bad, can fall down.