Chanel on play dates

[Christmasadverthell]

Went to one of my regular play dates with my Ds, 3 yesterday and noticed again the number of beautiful Chanel bags, designer sandals etc etc. Lovely, down to earth mums, nice friends, but I’m just not in the same league with my Zara bag & trainers
Aibu in feeling a bit shit about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do you judge people with bags cheaper than Zara? No? Then don’t bother about this OP.

I wouldn't worry about it.

I have a Chanel double flap and a LV Bleu Nuit bag but I've never used them as I don't want to scuff them up.
I can't see taking them on a play date with sticky children.

@SandrasAnnoyingFriend Was about to say the same. It's not compatible with mulberry, it's not hundreds of pounds - it's a bag that's 6-8k for a small flap. It's a different level.

Someone in my NCT group just got one as a push present. I was personally quite underwhelmed when I saw it!

@Maireas I am!! envious, not jealous though..for various reasons, I probably wouldn’t swap my life with theirs…

Agree with @Alpacahunter.

Bags, shoes, clothes, perfume… it’s all just ‘stuff’, isn’t it? None of it matters. It seems to be human nature to covet expensive and beautiful* things (yay capitalism!). I have had those feelings myself, and sometimes when I was younger, I indulged them. Buying an expensive item never made my life better in any way. I might have had a fleeting thrill from the purchase, but when that abates, you find you’re still the same person with the same life and the same worries. You’re still mortal. There are lots of ways to find excitement and joy in life and buying expensive and often unethically produced stuff just doesn’t really do it for me.

For the sake of the environment, and the ethical treatment of workers in developing countries, we all need to think more carefully about what we buy and from whom.

*Beauty, of course, being in the eye of the beholder.

I am also living in a foreign country with lots of international families around and varying degrees of wealth.

I think some people spend money on things they wear, carry. etc while, as you said, looking fairly down to earth, but probably quite polished and when you look at the detail, you can see that it is on another level.

I know some very well dressed people who live in flats and small houses in not so great areas while others live in better houses but don't pay so much attention to what they wear.

We are conditioned to some extend to buy into the idea that conspicuous consumption is not great for the environment so the right thing to do is that we model that behaviour to our children, so yes, we look at wooden toys, buy chilly bottles, reusable coffee cups, pick up second hand things for our children and support overpriced eco entrepreneurs who charge a fortune for their good, meanwhile wearing Dubarry boots to walk the dog and flying away at each half term and for weekends with friends in different countries.

I suspect there are also people who do not fit into the Chanel and Prada mould and are shopping on Sports Direct. 10 years in, I still struggle with this. We are very comfortably off but surrounded by much more wealthy people as well as those who have less than we do. I do find that those with the most money, spend more time talking about what they have saved... (by spending a fortune!!)

[quote Christmasadverthell]@Maireas I am!! envious, not jealous though..for various reasons, I probably wouldn’t swap my life with theirs…[/quote]
There you are! No need to be envious of them!

I honestly wouldn't even notice what brand people's bags were. If someone thought poorly of mine I wouldn't want to be their friend.

@TeeTotaller1

Slowwwwlyyyy pushes her Florence & Fred to one side......

Haha! I like your style.

The reverse snobbery on this thread is astounding. “I use a primark carrier bag that has a hole in it and all my stuff falls out but I’m a better person from not spending my own money on whatever I want to because it’s no one else’s business”

Why is MN so competitive? Who actually gives a shit what other people wear / use?

Meh - there are things I'd spend more money on if I had lots, but designer bags would be waaayyyy down the bottom of my list. I never think they look any nicer than cheaper ones. In fact lots of them are horrible.

You only care because you happen to like designer bags, OP. I often wonder if some people covet designer bags, buy one, and then realise with disappointment that actually... it's just a bag, and it doesn't enhance their life any more than their non-designer bags did. I guess they couldn't admit that after spending so much money though!

@Christmasadverthell

Went to one of my regular play dates with my Ds, 3 yesterday and noticed again the number of beautiful Chanel bags, designer sandals etc etc. Lovely, down to earth mums, nice friends, but I’m just not in the same league with my Zara bag & trainers Aibu in feeling a bit shit about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe they feel they have to impress you because you're such a great mum and look like you have everything together

@RantyAunty

I wouldn't worry about it.

I have a Chanel double flap and a LV Bleu Nuit bag but I've never used them as I don't want to scuff them up.
I can't see taking them on a play date with sticky children.

Now that’s a real waste of money! Use one tomorrow, please!

@marykitty

Zara? I am wearing now Leggings from Aldi

I've got a plastic carrier bag from Poundland that I get out on special occasions.

Just forget it. I wouldn’t know a Chanel bag if it smacked me in the face!

Couldn’t feel jealous about this kind of thing. Everyone just spends their money differently. I can’t comprehend spending that much money on a bag but then by household income I’m probably a target demographic.

I can understand feeling jealous (and I admit I do sometimes) at someone’s nice house or at a life that seems easier or better somehow - helpful grandparents that live down the road or a DH that seems to only work part time or you know, a baby or toddler that understands how to sleep. Not a bag. That wouldn’t make my life better.

Aibu in feeling a bit shit about it

Can you pinpoint why?

@3WildOnes

If I had a Chanel bag I would wear it every day. I would want my money’s worth.

Same here

I genuinely wouldn’t notice if something was designer! Stuff like that just doesn’t impress me and goes completely over my head . I have friends from all socioeconomic backgrounds and love them all for different reasons.

@Moonshine5

OP, I am mercilessly mocked by my nearest and dearest as I rarely use my designer bags. Either they will be too heavy, not have enough pockets, can't be asked to empty one bag into another, you get my drift. Also am a massive klutz and usually leave crisps, nuts, packets wrappers, juice, wipes in them etc. Currently using this and I heart it (yes rice bag lol)

That's hilarious! You're actually using this as a handbag?! Does it have compartments?

I know people who have luxury items but don't own their own homes or are in serious ££££ of debt. Like previous posters have said, comparison is the thief of joy. When you die no one if going to say, 'gosh, she had such a lovely chanel bag'.

I was going to add a long hopefully well thought out post then deleted it by mistake!
So short version is many of us envy what others have - which is natural - sorry you are feeling that way OP - but I can guarantee that somewhere someone is envying you for something and it might not be a material possession
I know it’s difficult but try to focus on the good things you have in the here and now

I have a beautiful Saint Laurent bag, had it admired loads, I went to a posh wedding once and a very glamorous young woman and her boyfriend were talking about it and nudging each other, when I caught their eye she said how much she loved it and how lucky I was. IT beautifully stitched and lovely leather.

but it's 100% fake from Dubai

The amount of judgement on this thread is sad. I wouldn’t judge somebody for carrying either a Primark or a Chanel bag but apparently it’s okay to judge the latter? I think the ethical arguments are ridiculous as we all know that the clothing manufacturing industry is often unethical regardless of which end of the market it’s producing goods for.

You can buy a car for a few thousand or one for tens of thousands. They will all go forwards and backwards and get you from a to b. Doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to buy and enjoy an expensive one just because a cheap one will do the same job. Same for handbags.

OP, your friends sound lovely. If a designer bag is something you cover then I hope one day you get to own one.

feel sorry for any woman who needs a designer label to bolster her self esteem and social status.