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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister's boyfriend and his karaoke obsession.

254 replies

HappyDays40 · 02/11/2021 04:58

Sister has a boyfriend who I don't like but put up with to keep her happy. They are coming for Christmas staying with our parents. For the first time we are at ours for Christmas which I am pleased about. He has apparently paid to hire a karaoke machine for Christmas day. I hate karaoke I would have to leave the house for the day. He is planning on setting up in my hallway which is the main access to the rest of the house. The thought of not being able to talk for listening to him singing droney songs makes me mad. Ive told him no he is pissed off now he and my sister who I do want to see aren't coming. She is pissed off at me because I said no politely. I just said it'll be too much. Apparently it was a special treat and he has paid hundreds that he can't get back.
Unreasonable behaviour on my part or not?

OP posts:
ohfook · 02/11/2021 20:38

I fucking hate karaoke and am married into a family of karaoke fans (luckily dh is not one). Every family birthday/christening etc ends up with people doing a turn on the fucking thing dedicating a song to dead grandmas/newborn babies etc getting all teary eyed.

Yanbu nip this shit in the bud now!

AmyDudley · 02/11/2021 20:58

My son had a birthday party and he kept singing while all the kids were eating. He did a crooned version of Happy Birthday.....

Dear God - why didn't someone kill him ?

Original poster
HappyDays40 · 02/11/2021 21:26

@labazslovesliving
Its not my parents house its mins so my decision. They are staying with my parents. Christmas day at mine

OP posts:
Garriet · 02/11/2021 21:37

Am I the only one who thinks 'controlling' (ie I have a different opinion to you) is one of the most overused words on MN?

Got to be right up there with “narcissist”.

OP, I am a huge karaoke fan. Bloody love it. There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that I’d ever turn up at someone else’s home - let alone on Christmas Day! - with a karaoke machine. It’s a completely unreasonable thing to do and actually quite bizarre.

Graphista · 02/11/2021 21:50

I love singing inc karaoke but no! He was way out of order imposing this and hiring without checking with the hosts

I'm also wondering if it were a deliberate move it's so antagonistic

Not a "nice" thing to do at all @Namechangedforthethousandthtim

That's always the refrain of controlling and selfish people when they try to impose things they want to do.

Yep!

Sister clearly needs to be directed to the Freedom programme op!

How big is it if it only fits in the hall and he's paid hundreds to hire it?

More to the point how loud?! I'm guessing it's the one from the pub where he works and they saw him coming! You can BUY household level ones for less than £100!!

If I were your neighbour I'd be very glad you turned this narcissistic numpty down!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/11/2021 22:07

'Oh, sorry, Gary, there won't be any room left in the hall for the karaoke machine after we've set up Mike's proscenium arch and lighting rig for charades.'

Grin Grin Grin

Platax · 02/11/2021 23:03

Am I the only one who thinks 'controlling' (ie I have a different opinion to you) is one of the most overused words on MN?

Definitely!

See also "vile"

WomanStanleyWoman · 02/11/2021 23:11

And any criticism is ‘vitriol’…

Itsnotallaboutyoubaby · 02/11/2021 23:25

Oh fuck no. Tell him it’s your house and you do it your way.

TeeTotaller1 · 02/11/2021 23:30

I'd rather do the hokeycokey in your hallway than listen to some Elvis wannabe murdering In The Ghetto

VampireVicki · 02/11/2021 23:30

Well it's VU of him to have decided he is providing the entertainment when he is not hosting. That is rude.

It does seem really weird to say you would have to leave your own house though if someone sang karaoke - a bit of an extreme reaction Grin

Nothing you can do now, I would just leave it and be grateful you won't have to listen to it.

stopblowingyournose · 02/11/2021 23:47

Is your sister dating arg from towie??

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/11/2021 00:43

If everyone wanted to do it then fine

You don’t want to do it, you hate karaoke and it’s your house. I agree he’s trying to control the day and dominate proceedings.

Yanbu at all

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/11/2021 00:44

And I quite like karaoke!

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/11/2021 00:47

How rude is he?
If someone posted my sister’s boyfriend is hiring a set of drums for the day I don’t suppose anyone would say you were unreasonable.

For goodness’ sake, it’s your house, just say no.

Original poster
HappyDays40 · 03/11/2021 00:55

I did say no.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 03/11/2021 01:13

That is very rude and presumptuous of him. Hiring a karaoke machine without checking first with your host is the height of intrusiveness and entitlement.

He is a complete arse, although I bet he considers himself to be the life and soul of any party. You are right to say no. You have a right to say what goes on in your home.and to veto something that would make you and/or your other guests feel uncomfortable.

Don't give in. Stay strong. Let him sulk and throw his toys out of the pram. It isn't a nice thing that he tried to do at all.

As for the point about him spending and losing hundreds of pounds hiring the karaoke machine, well more fool him.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/11/2021 01:46

So what's their new plans fro Xmas Day?

tickledtiger · 03/11/2021 02:02

Feel sorry for everyone in the scenario. What a social blunder.

Original poster
HappyDays40 · 03/11/2021 07:00

TBH I think the money spent is a red herring. Every reputable company offer a some elements of cancellation. I can't imagine what he has paid hundreds for just for one day. This all about him no body else in the family like karaoke and just because our idea of a nice day is eating, drinking and chatting doesn't mean that I am trying to be controlling or a killjoy. I know that once we get him on it he would be the only one singing.
I'm not going to be manipulated into having it there, he hired it without thought to anyone but himself and if he is sulking then he can be a giant baby elsewhere. I'm due to speak to my sister later.

OP posts:
Whereismumhiding3 · 03/11/2021 07:03

That's such a weird assumption for him to make , without asking first.

You've invited him to Xmas at your house with rest of family

He's now throwing a paddy as he wants to bring a loud oversized karaoke machine that no one else likes , so that he can sing loudly all day whilst at your house (& ruin Xmas as nobody can hear anything else )

You've said No thanks, so he's upset he's already paid for it- more fool him!

It sounds like you were to be his captive audience and you've ruined his unwanted 8 hour crooning "gig"

Yanbu Glad you stuck to your guns

Whereismumhiding3 · 03/11/2021 07:07

"None of us like Karaoke Gary."
"Our house is a Karaoke free zone Gary"
Grin

Howshouldibehave · 03/11/2021 07:09

My sistwr is not a fan TBH

She isn’t a fan but is so pissed off with you for saying no, she now isn’t coming to you for Xmas?! Let her sulk if she wants to.

Are they staying at your mum’s for the day now or not coming to your mum’s at all?

How does your mum feel about it?

StormyCornishSeas · 03/11/2021 07:18

@stopblowingyournose

Is your sister dating arg from towie??
GrinGrinGrin
CaptainMarvelDanvers · 03/11/2021 07:22

I think this is my favourite thread ever. I’m sorry OP, but I’m getting joy from your unfortunate situation p.

The absolute gall to hire a karaoke machine, so you can torture everyone with a bad Sinatra impression, is amazing.

I imagine your sister will come round, she probably thinks she has to “support him” by sharing in his sulking.