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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister's boyfriend and his karaoke obsession.

254 replies

HappyDays40 · 02/11/2021 04:58

Sister has a boyfriend who I don't like but put up with to keep her happy. They are coming for Christmas staying with our parents. For the first time we are at ours for Christmas which I am pleased about. He has apparently paid to hire a karaoke machine for Christmas day. I hate karaoke I would have to leave the house for the day. He is planning on setting up in my hallway which is the main access to the rest of the house. The thought of not being able to talk for listening to him singing droney songs makes me mad. Ive told him no he is pissed off now he and my sister who I do want to see aren't coming. She is pissed off at me because I said no politely. I just said it'll be too much. Apparently it was a special treat and he has paid hundreds that he can't get back.
Unreasonable behaviour on my part or not?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/11/2021 05:05

You do sound a bit joyless. What's the issue with karaoke?

Merryoldgoat · 02/11/2021 05:06

YA SO NBU

Karaoke would dominate the whole day - utterly vile and intrusive.

And I love a bit of karaoke at appropriate times.

romdowa · 02/11/2021 05:12

Yanbu,a guest hiring a huge karaoke machine for your house without telling you or discussing with you first is quite rude. I'm sure your neighbours want to enjoy their Xmas as well as you.

Frankii · 02/11/2021 05:27

Any chance that the boyfriend knew it would annoy you and let him kick off, isolating her from you all while making you the "bad guy"?

Aqua55 · 02/11/2021 05:29

@Frankii

Any chance that the boyfriend knew it would annoy you and let him kick off, isolating her from you all while making you the "bad guy"?
Projecting much?
TheWestIsTheBest · 02/11/2021 05:32

Oh hell no, I hate karaoke. What a mad thing for him to do though!

beautifulview · 02/11/2021 05:34

I like karaoke but this would piss me off. He should have asked the party host (you) first before ordering. What gives him the right. He sounds domineering and obnoxious. You could offer a compromise. Say “as it’s my house and I’m hosting, the right thing to do would have been to check with me first before ordering the machine as we had other plans for the Xmas day entertainment however in the spirit of the season please come but let’s just have a compromise where the machine isn’t on all day and is on for a couple of hours after lunch” then stick to it. Unplug it if you have to. You’ve got big problems here because he’s a bully

Frankii · 02/11/2021 05:34

Sorry, not projecting as no that's never happened to me, just wondering based on OP's first sentence - there's clearly something going on so thought I'd ask. It's the kind of subtle thing that people can do that you don't pick up on at the time.

Alternate theory: bloke's just a wanker Grin

Caelus · 02/11/2021 05:35

YANBU

Harlequin1088 · 02/11/2021 05:39

He's hired a karaoke machine for YOUR house? Oh no, that'd definitely be a no from me. That'd be like hiring a smoke machine for someone else's house to give it more of a "nightclub vibe"😂

This man sounds like a right tool!

Juniper68 · 02/11/2021 05:42

I can't believe someone could be so rude (him) This is weird. How long has dsis been with him?

SmileyClare · 02/11/2021 05:48

Can you elaborate on his karaoke obsession and the reasons you dislike him?

We used to have a neighbour who was obsessed with karaoke; the obsession consisted of him singing Frank Sinatra at home for hours whilst looking at himself in the mirror. He took himself very seriously.

They always went on holiday to Cyprus and every evening, he'd put on a suit and drag his poor wife to all the karaoke bars so she could watch him "wow" the crowds.

I agree with a pp, offer a compromise here.

Namechangedforthethousandthtim · 02/11/2021 05:54

He's tried to do a nice and fun thing and you've spoiled it by being controlling and a killjoy. It's not all about you? You could compromise.

TheWestIsTheBest · 02/11/2021 06:05

@Namechangedforthethousandthtim

He's tried to do a nice and fun thing and you've spoiled it by being controlling and a killjoy. It's not all about you? You could compromise.
A nice thing? Seriously? Bringing a bunch of flowers or some champagne is a nice thing, not a sodding karaoke machine.
Shoxfordian · 02/11/2021 06:15

He should have asked you first as you’re the host

If you can’t beat them though op; you have to join in and start singing

Clutterbugsmum · 02/11/2021 06:17

Who the hell hires a Karaoke machine when they are staying at someone else's house.

I hope to god he doesn't just turn up with it, and the op home doesn't have close neighbours for him to disturb with his 'singing' at Christmas.

Wagglerock · 02/11/2021 06:27

Oh this is hilarious (not for you obviously). Why would he think that's acceptable? Is your DSis his first proper girlfriend? What does he like to sing?

Well done for saying no, enjoy your quiet Christmas!

Warhertisuff · 02/11/2021 06:27

@Namechangedforthethousandthtim

He's tried to do a nice and fun thing and you've spoiled it by being controlling and a killjoy. It's not all about you? You could compromise.
Wtf?! It's the bf who's being controlling by looking to dominate Christmas Day by imposing karaoke set up in the OPs hallway without even asking, and I say that as someone who quite likes karaoke!
Warhertisuff · 02/11/2021 06:37

He's tried to do a nice and fun thing....

That's always the refrain of controlling and selfish people when they try to impose things they want to do. They find it fun, but are either so self-absorbed that they can't fathom that others may not feel the same way, or are so selfish that they don't give a damn. Either way, it's dickish.

Juniper68 · 02/11/2021 06:52

@Warhertisuff

He's tried to do a nice and fun thing....

That's always the refrain of controlling and selfish people when they try to impose things they want to do. They find it fun, but are either so self-absorbed that they can't fathom that others may not feel the same way, or are so selfish that they don't give a damn. Either way, it's dickish.

Spot on.
Clutterbugsmum · 02/11/2021 06:53

@Namechangedforthethousandthtim

He's tried to do a nice and fun thing and you've spoiled it by being controlling and a killjoy. It's not all about you? You could compromise.
There is nothing nice about this.

He's try to control the household. No one else will be able to enjoy them self with this idiot droning on with his 'singing'.

PurpleFlower1983 · 02/11/2021 07:00

I don’t mind a bit of karaoke but this would really piss me off!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 02/11/2021 07:08

Suggest to him that he can do the Karaoke thing, but it must be in the garden and he can only sing Christmas carols.

Close the curtains.

Wiredforsound · 02/11/2021 07:12

We’ve done karaoke at Christmas and it was really fun. However, it was for an hour or so in the lounge in the evening about 6 or 7pm. Could you compromise on that?

SmileyClare · 02/11/2021 07:17

I think a good compromise is an hour or so the evening after a few drinks- no one takes themselves too seriously and you all have a go.

At any other times during the day- as above- strictly Christmas carols in the garden for him Grin

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