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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you live rurally....do you enjoy it?

251 replies

PottererCrouch · 01/11/2021 12:47

As title really, I live rurally and really enjoy it, but I was at a party on Saturday night and got talking to a friend of the host, they asked where I live and when I said where it was, pretty much gasped and said 'good lord, however do you cope living there? It's the middle of nowhere, no, I couldn't be doing with that. I always wonder why people want to live rurally, just doesn't appeal at all to me. Do you actually enjoy it?!'

They were very drunk but I couldn't help but feel a bit offended Hmm for a start, it IS a small village (300 houses) but it does have a pub and primary school and we're only 6 miles to the nearest town so not completely 'isolated.'

I see a lot of people on here warning others off living rurally as it isn't good for kids and they regret it etc.

If you live rurally, do you enjoy it and why?

OP posts:
Original poster
PottererCrouch · 01/11/2021 14:47

2 hamlets*

OP posts:
closedown · 01/11/2021 14:50

I live rurally and I love it because I hate most people so I enjoy being far away from most of them. I work from home too.

Close enough to civilisation to get supermarket deliveries though, which is nice.

bloodywhitecat · 01/11/2021 14:53

I live in a row of four houses set halfway between two villages. I love it, yes we have to drive everywhere for supplies etc and Just Eat and the like haven't discovered the depths of our ruralness but that is a small price to pay.

ChuckGarabedian · 01/11/2021 14:54

I moved back to the same area I grew up in as a child, it’s very rural and quiet. I loved it when I was small, and I’m fond of it now too (partly as I can easily drive to whatever I need). I hated it as a teenager though, I wanted to be in town where my school friends/all the shops/parks/cinemas were!

garlictwist · 01/11/2021 14:54

I think I could live rurally apart from having to drive everywhere. I live in a city but I could, if I wanted, walk straight from my back door and hit a national trail that ends in the Lake District.

Living here, I can walk to the shops, to work, to my friends' houses, the cinema etc etc. I would hate to have to get in the car just to buy a loaf of bread.

ExchangedCat · 01/11/2021 14:58

There's a difference between rural and remote. We live rurally - village surrounded by farmland and poor infrastructure - but aren't remote. I love being rural but don't think I'd like to be remote.

julieca · 01/11/2021 14:58

Grew up in a rural area. I would never live in a small village. They are either commuting offshoots with everyone commuting to the nearest City or if a more real village, a hotbed of gossip.

julieca · 01/11/2021 15:00

Also when you get old, getting cleaners and carers can be tough. Plenty of older people who really are remote seriously struggle because they cant find the support they need. People tend to manage until they can no longer drive. Historically a large extended family would have been close by to help, that is now more rarely the case.

GrasssInPocket · 01/11/2021 15:04

Each to their own. I suppose being drunk meant that their opinion came out somewhat unfiltered, but living rurally isn't everyone's cup of tea. We love living in a village, having moved here when the children were small, when it was the perfect location. Not so much when they were teenagers, though, as the total lack of public transport made it impossible for them to come and go independently and we had to drive them everywhere but at least we always knew where they were until they were old enough to drive themselves. They've all left home now for work and/or university, and all live in cities! Grin

Mosky · 01/11/2021 15:05

I've lived here 35 years.
Village of about 50 houses and no shop. Nearest shop is 5 miles. No school, DC went on school buses. It's ot pretty or picturesque just in the middle of flat arable farm land.
It was ok when DC were little, even when they were teens and we had to drive them everywhere day and night so as to make up for living in the back of beyond. But now as we are retired and age and health not on our side I hate it.

I am so over it.

I desperately want to move somewhere with amenities. Somewhere I can walk to a shop or cafe. Not a city, small market town would be perfect but DH doesn't want to move.

Laiste · 01/11/2021 15:07

I grew up in W London, in my late 20s i left and bought a cottage in the country and wouldn't go back if you paid me!

I love the peace + quiet, the fresh air, the safety for the youngsters, the views from the window, the quaint village life quirks, the wildlife, the country hobbies, that feeling of being slightly removed from the rat race, the fact that Halloween means lots of little under 10s in their costumes knocking and thanking you by name rather than a bunch of teens in black balaclavas emptying bins all over your garden because you offered sweets and no cash Hmm

godmum56 · 01/11/2021 15:08

I live semi rurally, it was a lot more rural when we moved her 30 years ago. When I move again I will be looking to get back to something quieter. I was born and brought up in London and lived there until we married

scooterbear · 01/11/2021 15:09

I live in a village and I love it. Community, it's pretty, there are tons of beautiful walks right from the door, dark at night and fresh air etc etc. My teenagers hate it! They are bored, I have to drive them everywhere as there are only two buses a day, etc etc. For those reasons (and because i just started a new job that I really need to be nearer a station for)We are therefore about to move back into a town. I can see how it will be more practical. But I'm dreading it a bit.

donkeymcdonkface · 01/11/2021 15:12

Never had a neighbour and love it. We can make all the noise we want with no complaining! Never had a street light. Cant imagine a different life. Kids are grown up now but they are exactly the same, and although I was a taxi service in the teenage years often all the friends would come to us and spend the holidays camping in our fields.
In answer to your question, I cant imagine a different life!

mindutopia · 01/11/2021 15:13

Yes, live very rurally, not even in a village (closest village/pub/shop though only open 9-1 every day) is about 5 minutes drive. I love it. Nearest town is about 20 minutes away. I spent a lot of my 20s living in big megacities of the world and my office is still in Central London, though have wfh quite a bit for many (pre-COVID) years. I love London and I enjoy going there, but always happy to come home. I couldn't live there anymore.

Terribleluck · 01/11/2021 15:14

No I hate it

OffRoadFozzyBear · 01/11/2021 15:19

I live rurally and love it. Nearest shop is 4 miles away, supermarket is 6, and city is 12. Loads of wildlife, peace and quiet. You do have to plan a bit as we get a lot of snow (12+ inches in a night is quite common) and it can take several days for the roads to be cleared.

I like UK cities too though, lots to do close by, public transport etc, and have enjoyed living in cities in the past.

The thing I do hate is suburbia - there are large suburbs next to the city nearby and they make me feel claustrophobic. They are so soulless.

Sandinmyknickers · 01/11/2021 15:21

For those saying she was rude...yes maybe it was more than she would have said because of the alcohol, but being from London (by birth, so not like I chose it, although I have chosen to stay), I get this all the time...people (particularly from the North of England it seems) just LOVE to give unsolicited comments of how they just couldn't possibly live in London (so dirty, noisy, busy, expensive, rude people etc). My response is often "ok" "good to know"
My point being...ignore her

Everyone is different and prefers different things. If you're happy with your life, why do you care what others think of rural living

LuaDipa · 01/11/2021 15:24

I love it. No shops or pub and very limited public transport so you have to drive everywhere, but I wouldn’t change it. It’s very safe and quiet. We regularly see deer and birds of prey but hardly ever see another person, even though we have neighbours on the lane. We all love being outside, which I think really helps.

My dm and dsis are horrified when they come to visit (‘but there’s nothing here!’), although they do enjoy trips to the local towns. I’m not offended as everyone is different. I grew up in the same lovely suburb of a city with easy access to the countryside where they still reside. There really is nothing wrong with it but I would struggle to live there now.

2bazookas · 01/11/2021 15:25

We did live very rural when our kids were at school ( through primary and secondary schooling). No neighbours within sight. There were a scattered handful of children within a mile or two who used the same school bus to the same primary and secondary .Both sexes and a wide age range ( 3 to 15). They just walked cross country to meet up and play together outside.

I have always regarded that small social sphere and outdoor childhood as an absolute blessing to all of them. They had nothing and everything in common so adapted. The older ones had to be aware, considerate and responsible. The younger ones, desperate to keep up, naturally became adventurous, independent, and confident.Genderism was non-existent.

Artie30 · 01/11/2021 15:26

Live in a village with around 300 homes, we have a primary school, very small shop and a community building, nothing else - but lots of green space. 8 miles from nearest town. J love it.

I actually grew up in a town though. Not a huge town but much bigger than where I lived now. Don't think I'd ever want to live in a village but I've been here in the village for 7 years.

I would probably go mad if I didn't drive, there is barely any public transport!

My mum was worried about how I would cope in a village being isolated etc. Thing is I feel
More at home here than my hometown. I know more people here than I did in my whole 20 odd years in hometown.

Brainwave89 · 01/11/2021 15:33

I live rurally and love it, but I accept that some people may not like the space, the community closeness and the lack of proximity to shops nightlife etc. At about fourteen my youngest did go through a phase of loathing living in the countryside- everywhere a teenager goes has to be facilitated by mum and dad which is annoying when you are young. However now they love it and always bring friends for xmas.

etulosba · 01/11/2021 15:35

I do. I enjoyed it when I was a child/teenager too, despite there being no parental taxi service. I had a bike.

Laiste · 01/11/2021 15:42

Moved here 20 years ago.
3 of my 4 were born in west london but were only 2, 4 and 6 when we moved to the country, and no.4 was born here. A true country girl :)

None of the DCs have hated it at any time. They are all very outdoorsy girls and have had loads more freedom to roam free than i would have given them on the estate in London. Horse riding, forest school, playing with their mates in the village when they're young. Now the big ones still ride and have passed their driving tests so are mobile and can get themselves into town for shops/cinema ect.

Lovely life.
Our village has a few shops and a primary school and a pub and a social club, and a bus through every hour, mind you, so is not toooo quiet.

NiceTwin · 01/11/2021 15:42

Love it.
We are on our own, surrounded by fields, nearest neighbours about half a mile away.
I feel very, very lucky to live where we do. Both my teenage dd's love it too, as do their friends.