To ask if you live rurally....do you enjoy it?

[PottererCrouch]

As title really, I live rurally and really enjoy it, but I was at a party on Saturday night and got talking to a friend of the host, they asked where I live and when I said where it was, pretty much gasped and said 'good lord, however do you cope living there? It's the middle of nowhere, no, I couldn't be doing with that. I always wonder why people want to live rurally, just doesn't appeal at all to me. Do you actually enjoy it?!'

They were very drunk but I couldn't help but feel a bit offended for a start, it IS a small village (300 houses) but it does have a pub and primary school and we're only 6 miles to the nearest town so not completely 'isolated.'

I see a lot of people on here warning others off living rurally as it isn't good for kids and they regret it etc.

If you live rurally, do you enjoy it and why?

@BigSandyBalls2015

She was rude! It's good we're all different.

I personally would hate to live rurally, love it for holidays, but like living near a high street with plenty going on - cinema/theatre/great pubs and restaurants. And the older I get the more I think that - def won't be retiring to the coast/countryside.

Same here. I live in a small city on a quiet road but within a few minutes walk of a street with shops, cafes, restaurants and pub, and good public transport links in case I ever have to give up driving. I think it’s the perfect place to grow old in.

I don’t think it was rude either, I certainly wouldn’t have been offended.
It sounds great where you live, but I do like to be able to walk everywhere, hate driving, so it wouldn’t suit me I don’t think

I lived rurally until 3 years ago - DH loved it due to the scenery and peacefulness, but I hated it - nearest bus stop was 2 miles away, our road was too dangerous to go for a walk, and we had to drive everywhere, even for a pint of milk as we lived outside the village. My DC loved it until the teen years - then hated it due to a lack of friends nearby and lack of independence eg relying on me for lifts.

We live 1.5 miles from our nearest city centre now and it suits us better. We can walk into town, and we also live 10 minutes walk from various parks, a small forest and the towpath. I attend various baby groups as I have young DC as well, and I honestly find the mums a lot friendlier in our city. I realise the latter was maybe just down to luck though.

YANBU to be annoyed at the comments though - it sounded like she was being unpleasant about your choices. I know many people who love living in the countryside, including 2 of my siblings and their children.

I live in a small rural hamlet, less than 100 houses. No pub, no shop, no facilities really. It’s beautiful, quiet and peaceful.
I have lived in towns and cities before including London and I loathe it. I like my horse and my hens and fresh air. I don’t need anything else.

I do work in a city twice a week and we have 2 small market towns within 15 mins or so for shops.
I’d love to get takeaways delivered but it’s probably good that I can’t!

@StaplesCorner

Also does anyone else find it claustrophobic at night? Like a blanket of darkness; or do I sound like I’ve been on the gin before lunch? 🤔

I found it the other way round. Living in the city felt claustrophobic, there was noise and mess and other people there just all the time, there was no getting away from it. We don’t live really rurally now, but on the rural edge of a town and it’s heaven.

I don’t live rurally (although I live on the rural edge of a town and can walk to open countryside in 5 minutes). I’ve always dreamt of living rurally.

That said, I think when people talk about living rurally they mean a big spectrum of different things. A village with a pub and a school and 6 miles to the nearest town sounds lovely to me but it doesn’t sound that rural really. I’m not sure if I’d like being completely in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours at all and a long drive to the nearest shops/GPs/hospital/etc.

As pps have said, it's great until the teen years.

Lived on a really isolated rural farm for 13 years. DCs born there. Hard work but nice until they were about 12 - and then they started getting left out socially because so much of teen life is organised at the last minute ('meet you at the shops in 10 mins') and if you can't come, you start to get isolated.

I moved out - split not caused by location - and moved to the town where they go to school. Both DCs much much happier, good friends, have a social life etc. I like being near amenities too.

I think unless you have very resilient independent teens who aren’t bothered about socialising or who love country pursuits living very remotely with teens isn’t fair.

@MsTSwift

I think unless you have very resilient independent teens who aren’t bothered about socialising or who love country pursuits living very remotely with teens isn’t fair.

It's only 'unfair' if you're not prepared for the logistics of it all. Dh and I know we'll be taxi of mum and dad for the next 10/11 years, and we're quite prepared for that.

@MsTSwift

I think unless you have very resilient independent teens who aren’t bothered about socialising or who love country pursuits living very remotely with teens isn’t fair.

Surely this depends a bit on your situation?

Totally isolated with parents not willing or able to facilitate a social life or activities is not great.

We are very rural, but there are 40 houses in the valley, and a group of similar age dc who get on. I spend half my life driving dc to activities - horse riding, cheerleading, music lessons, youth club, theatre group. Yes, they probably spent longer in a car than other dc because of the distances involved, but I don't think they are hugely missing out.

Tbh the fact that most of their friends live on farms leads to having lots of space for get together, the dc both have excellent social lives.

The problem with that is there are relatively few teenagers to socialise with. It is fine if you are the kind of teen who easily makes friends. It is tough if you don't and none of the small group of local teenagers you really get on with.

We live rurally and love it, you soon get used to not running out of milk etc!

It's been tough once DS was a teen and needed the taxi of mum and dad to get about, though lockdown curtailed that greatly and he's passed his driving test now so all is good.

We are looking to move in the new year and will ideally move slightly less rurally as I don't want to move again ever and extreme rural living is not great for the elderly when things start to drop off go wrong.

My girls can so easily hang out with pals after school or at the weekend with zero impact on us. Not just worthy activities but coffee shop after school etc. I hated bring a rural teen utterly reliant on whims of parent as to whether they could be arsed to drive you.

@MsTSwift

My girls can so easily hang out with pals after school or at the weekend with zero impact on us. Not just worthy activities but coffee shop after school etc. I hated bring a rural teen utterly reliant on whims of parent as to whether they could be arsed to drive you.

Exactly what I babbled on for multiple paragraphs, trying to say, @MsTSwift - only clear and succinct.

The teens round here have quad bikes to travel around.

I suppose there are advantages and disadvantages everywhere. My dc can't get to a coffee shop, but they hang out with their friends daily (admittedly at our house or theirs, or at the local busy youth club).

The loss of coffee shop access can be measured against the massive freedom of being somewhere very safe, and the free access to quad bikes, horse riding etc.

I think mn can be a bit unfair about families who live rurally - failing to meet your dc's needs is cruel anywhere, but rural families aren't necessarily failing to meet teens needs.

Over my dead body would my 13 year old be quad biking in the dark to her friends house. That’s really a thing? Sounds super dangerous. Every school year where I lived we lost someone to a car accident - 17 year olds driving parents powerful cars down country lanes they feel familiar with is literally a recipe for disaster.

I live rurally and love it. 1 mile from the closest village and 3 miles from the closest shop. I love the space and how quiet it is. Our road is so quiet, it is not uncommon to have rabbits, birds and deer just chilling out spring sun on the road outside my house.
I spent the first decade of my life in central London and I do remember living there but I much prefer it in the countryside. I spent my teen years cycling to the closest village to meet up with friends and working in the local pub as a waitress which doubled up as a good social life.
The only downside where I live is being tied to the car to get anywhere but I can live with that.
I now have a dd myself and I have no intention of ever moving closer to anybody else.

I think what some people would class as rural or isolated, others certainly wouldn't! I couldn't live too far from some sort of civilisation I.e more than 6/7 miles from a small town.

I lived rurally for 25 years (adulthood) and most isolated was a house on a forest track, 7 miles from town! DC were tiny then. That was quite tough but I loved the peace and quiet. A 5 mile drive to a baby group was a busy day!

Moved around a bit since then but stayed rural. Only had neighbours once (village of 10 houses) and hated it but was good for DC growing up. Now no neighbours again (yay), but only 1 mile from biggish town. For me personally I'd prefer to be further from civilisation (3-4 miles from town ish) but DC are teens and so better for them being closer.

About 10 years ago I made a post on MN about living in the countryside and what it was like as we were considering moving from the edge (20 min walk) of a city to a very small village.

I was told that it was perfect and I'll never look back. Or wonder why we didn't do it sooner. All I can say now is that those comments were right.

I asked on MN because I knew I'd get the truth. I knew I'd be told about the good and the bad. OK so its a faff to pop out for a pint of milk and do I really want to drag myself out for an hour just because I'm craving some chocolate? Obviously not. Yes I am aware that teenagers (or at least NT ones - DS is autistic so has no social life and he's happy that way, while DD1 is always out) need lifts, but we said that we'd be fine with that.

However, we're not all that rural. Our village has a little over 100 houses. We now have a shop (didn't when we first moved), we have a post office on a Monday in the village hall and 3 buses a day (2 in one direction, 1 in the other). The GP is 2.5 miles away in another equally small village and the nearest pub is a mile away in a different village. Oh and we have half a school (It joined up with another and pre-school and reception are in our village, years 1-6 get bussed to the other school, but when we moved it was reception to year 6 with 25 children in the whole school.

I love it here. Going for a run on a Sunday and hearing a tractor in the distance. Saying morning to the man walking his dog even though neither of you have any idea who each other are. The views are amazing too (even though it did get a bit boring after running the same few routes during lockdown)

I’m 7 miles to my nearest pint of milk. In a village of less than 200 people. I love the beauty and scenery. I’m a 40 min drive to work and nursery though. There is a village primary school but too small I think. Probably 5 children in the entire school. There is a larger village school nearby where DD could go to but there is no wrap around care. So likely I’ll drive her in to town where I work to attend there. She already attends nursery there. I’m near the coast and a 2 miles from nature reserve. I liked it better here before having DD and now things are a bit annoying in terms of driving. But we are near family who help with childcare and half way between two bigger towns of the area which means best of both worlds when it comes to jobs/activities etc. I miss the bustle of a city but when I lived in one all I wanted was to live rurally 😂

Love rurally and BLOODY LOVE IT!

The peace and quiet, the beauty, even on a rainy, grey day, the countryside is stunning. I lived in Central London for years and always felt a bit glum when it rained, urban environments are very drab in dreary weather. Here, I don't care, we just get our wet weather gear out and go walking, its invigorating, uplifting, food for the soul. In London when it rained, we would have stayed in feeling fed up.

We aren't meant to live in urban environments. Modern human has been on earth for some 300,000 years living among nature, while the first cities were built around 8,000 years ago, a minute amount of time comparatively. This is why city dwellers often feel so relaxed when they holiday in a bucolic environment. They are back to where nature intended them to exist.

I'm 8 miles from our nearest town but would happily live somewhere much more remote. Being surrounded by beauty and wildlife inspires me and enriches my life so so much.

@GoodnightGrandma

I do, but when my kids became teenagers they hated it.

Same here.

Rural here. Next village a mile away. No direct neighbours, no pub, no shop, no school. Woodland, quarries, lakes, and not to far from the beach as i can see it from the kitchen window. Very unique place to be with all that.

I could never live in a town. Going to tesco is enough for me.