To ask how perimenopause/menopause has changed/is changing you emotionally

[Kitchendisco21]

This might be a difficult one to pin down but I really feel like perimenopause is like going through puberty backwards- it’s incredibly challenging and I find myself questioning everything in my life- people, jobs, my relationship with DP, what I really want, who I really am. It feels quite shocking at times.

Aibu to ask how perimenopause/ menopause is changing you?

@SirChenjins OMFG 😱

@SirChenjins

We know a couple who are unexpectedly expecting (naturally) - she’s 54 and he’s 70. That would literally finish me off.

I am dying inside at the thought of this. Am suddenly changing my mind about having lots of sex.

Periods started changing when I was 44, This ramped up at the back end of last year/early this year. I put off having blood tests cause of COVID but had some in March, they showed that I am going through the change. I've been on HRT since June. Its hard to say how much its helped cause I've had other shit going on, my Dad nearly dying, problems with my teen and I'm just recovering from COVID.

The main things I have noticed are how much less nurturing I feel. My parents were both seriously ill when I was in my 20s, my Mum died when I was 27 so from a having to deal with ill parents time of life perspective, I've been there done that and worn the t-shirt. Until the last year, my Dad hasn't been around much for the past 15 years due to probems with his partner, she resented his family and my Dad let her get away with it. Its hard to forgive despite him nearly dying for the fifth time this year, but I'm doing my best. Just resent there being no golden period between all the family illness.

I'm also questioning everything and feeling full of regret. I regret the degree I did, I regret career choices, although I'm trying to change this. Very hard not to dwell on it. I really miss how me and my DH were pre kids, our boys are 11 and 14 so you'd think I'd be over it. I'm cross at my lack of energy, having had covid doesn't help. O, I've got no tolerance for young kids anymore, I saw a little girl playing up in Tesco the other day and I could have slapped her, obviously I would never do this. Trying to work on all these thing, work on relationship, career etc. On the plus side I'm not struggling with loosing my looks really, I've got a noticeable eye problem which has always stopped me being very pretty. Luckily I've got reasonable style, I dye my hair bright colours etc. I've also managed to lose some weight over the last couple of years, I'm not skinny by any means but probably just about a size 10. Rightly or wrongly thats helped how I see myself

KittenKong

There is a fab menopause group I belong to on fb. We all have a laugh and support each other.
Men are always trying to join the group! And are obviously not allowed

I’m really losing patience with female friends’/acquaintances’ drama. They’ve all got problems/anxiety etc but aren’t prepared to do anything about it. I haven’t any time for negativity any more. It’s draining. Let it go (Frozen)!

Anxiety on a different level!! About anything and everything. I have anxiety about things that aren't even there or happened. Sleep is terrible. DP and I haven't been getting on for a few weeks now. I just feel I could move out and get a place of my own, except I can't afford to so feel trapped. I've been prescribed HRT but on here lots of people say they bleed on it and having been on mini pill and not had period for 2 years I'm really nervous about starting it.

Terrible terrible anxiety and insomnia ages 48 - 52 ish, really crippling at times. Fury and rage which became very difficult, actually unmanageable at work. Then more lately, (am now 53) a sense of extreme clarity re' relationships and my life history. I now feel more capable and actually more assertive. I have a greater sense of self worth and empathy with womankind. Not so keen on men.
Shocking PMT though. Poor DH has nearly been out on his ear twice in the past 6 months.

HRT has massively helped my insomnia. ADs have massively helped my anxiety.

Menopause is hard.

@SirChenjins

We know a couple who are unexpectedly expecting (naturally) - she’s 54 and he’s 70. That would literally finish me off.

Bloody hell 😱.

I am so glad I've found this thread, I thought it was just me.

Irritable, anxious, emotional - I've never been a crier but I can watch Strictly and start crying, ffs! I've also never suffered fools but this has been majorly ramped up, to the point I've actually binned FB and Instagram as I was sitting on my hands too much.

I can also feel myself emotional detaching myself from people, which I know I'm doing it but it upsets me and I can't stop myself.

I also can't bloody sleep, 2am ping wide awake so I'll read the whole thread then.

kitchen my friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!

Can I ask a question? I’m 47, probably peri but also having major work related anxiety (v stressful job) which is causing dire insomnia, waking up with panic attacks and heart burn. Other symptom is bladder weakness. Spoke to GP last week, she agreed I’m probably peri as well as stressed and prescribed Prozac as she said it was good for both. Anyone else been prescribed Prozac? Should I be pushing for HRT instead? Thanks.

For anyone experiencing night sweats - like me - I can't recommend Wool Duvets enough. I don't work for them honest! But since switching my night sweats have reduced by 90%

Anxiety, which I never suffered from before menopause, and tiredness. I spend most weekends in bed. I feel exhausted constantly. I have no energy to do anything at all. I just want to sleep all the time.

I've been on HRT for 4 months now which has helped massively in some areas - reducing hot flushes and night sweats particularly - but I am still constantly tired and the brain fog and lack of concentration is still causing me problems.

@WellyBoot12345

Can I ask a question? I’m 47, probably peri but also having major work related anxiety (v stressful job) which is causing dire insomnia, waking up with panic attacks and heart burn. Other symptom is bladder weakness. Spoke to GP last week, she agreed I’m probably peri as well as stressed and prescribed Prozac as she said it was good for both. Anyone else been prescribed Prozac? Should I be pushing for HRT instead? Thanks.

Doctors shouldn't be prescribing SSRI's for anxiety/depression caused by perimenopause. It's against the NICE guidelines.

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23/chapter/recommendations

Reading this with interest and ticking lots of boxes, I think I've been in denial about peri for while. Recently been feeling very anxious and panicky about work when this is not like me at all normally. Loss of confidence about things and question myself a lot.

My gp mentioned anti depressants for some women in peri experiencing anxiety and she actually had read the nice guidelines.
They really seem to like the anti ds

I’m going to ask a stupid question. Can being on the pill mask signs of menopause? I’m on the pill due to irregular periods (PCOS) so I only get a withdrawal bleed every few months. As mentioned earlier in the thread I do have some signs of perimenopause but am unclear as to whether any signs would be more noticeable if I wasn’t on the pill.

Thank you, that’s useful. Trouble is that I can’t work out whether I would be ok if it weren’t the issues at work. It could be mainly that, or it could be that I can’t cope with work because I’m peri. Need to win the lottery and quit to be able to find out!

I really needed to see this today. I am 48 and since around 45 I have been slowly turning into someone I (or my husband, I just want to rip his head off sometimes!) don’t recognise anymore. I am so anxious all the time, angry and over emotional over the silliest things. My body is changing physically too (lost of aches and pains, awful digestive issues, headaches and awful periods) and these physically issues make my psychological ones even worse as I’m stuck in this vicious cycle of feeling physically crap, worrying that I’m unwell, then feeling absolute anger and rage that no one around me seems to understand or care. I am starting to not want to go out, socialise or work. I just hate this time of my life.

A really basic question but do your periods have to change to be peri?

Mine haven’t, I have no other symptoms other than being annoyed, esp at dh, even the little stuff, mostly the little stuff

Is that part of it? I’m 47

I identity with so much on this thread. It's shit.

@WellyBoot12345 That's exactly it, I could also put my feelings down to lots of changes and stress at work. It may be a mix of both. It's not something that I personally feel needs medication at this point. I am trying diet, exercise, vitamins and cutting myself some slack

No your periods dont have to change to be in peri initially, although they will change.

@MarshaBradyo

A really basic question but do your periods have to change to be peri?

Mine haven’t, I have no other symptoms other than being annoyed, esp at dh, even the little stuff, mostly the little stuff

Is that part of it? I’m 47

No, they don't! You can still have regular periods but the other symptoms can start. To everyone on here, please google Louise Newson. There's absolutely loads of information and she is fantastic at explaining. Lots of short videos to watch by her too.