To argue that this should is not a suitable topic for the Girl Guides

[MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled]

Girlguiding is for girls, aged 10-14. So why then do they feel the need to promote this on their social media?

This week is #AceWeek - a time to raise awareness and understanding of the asexual community. So here’s a shout-out to all of our asexual volunteers and members – thank you for everything you do in Girlguiding.

The reference to ‘members’ is quite clear. What on earth were they thinking in making reference to young girls’ sex lives (or lack of them according to the focus of the Tweet). How, as an organisation, have they strayed so far? I have two boys in the Scouts/Beavers and if this came up on either of their social media pages I would pull them out. Why is it seen to be an acceptable for Girlguiding?!!

Yanbu. Grim. There is a real push at the moment to talk to young children about sex, it says a lot more about the adults than the children and often gets dangerously close to brainwashing. It’s not unusual for young girls to get injured having anal sex that they didn’t enjoy but thought they were supposed to accept because it’s all so ‘celebrated’ and ‘normal’

Girl guides should be about learning life skills like camping etc. For sex info there’s plenty st school, at home, and the internet unfortunately.

That kind of conversation should be something you can openly say without it being a big thing, or people thinking it’s weird

You can’t control whether people think it’s weird though. To me, the concept of enjoying sex with someone I have no physical attraction to is very weird.

As if relates to consenting adults I don’t care. I don’t actually care that much about people’s personal lives at work either. I do care that anxious teens are prematurely deciding they’re ace and normalising sex with people they do t desire though

Let me get this straight: you are disgusted because an organisation has said that it is fine and normal for your child not to fancy anyone or want to have sex with them?

And this is revolting, because…?

@catsandhens you're making girl guides look even worse. Which I didn't really know was possible.

[quote Flapjak]@MolkosTeenageAngst ok i get that you are asexual from your description, but what many other people are describing would be commonly understood as having a low sex drive or libido and not an orientation that needs protection from discrimination and abuse. I think it is valid to discuss being asexual as it is on the opppsite ennd of the spectrum as those people who are hypersexed. Have any studies been done on people who have no sex drive / sexual attraction in terms of hormone levels?[/quote]
It’s not the same as low sex drive. Sexual attraction is not the same as libido. There are asexuals who have libido, they feel the physical urge to climax, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are physically attracted to another person, they might always masterbate in some way.

Why do we need our hormones examined? There is nothing wrong with us.

@eeek88

Let me get this straight: you are disgusted because an organisation has said that it is fine and normal for your child not to fancy anyone or want to have sex with them?

And this is revolting, because…?

Erm…the key word in your question is “child”.

@BelleOfTheProvince

It's important for prepubescent children to know a lack of desire is a developmental stage and doesn't make them asexual.

Really?!

eek

Have you read the thread? It’s a sexuality where people can apparently enjoy sex with people they don’t feel attraction to.

Fine for adults. Not an ok message for an anxious girl who hasn’t felt desire yet

@nolongersurprised

Some people don't experience attraction and aren't interested in relationships. What is so wrong with acknowleding that?

Have you read the thread? Posters have kindly educated us that actually sexual people can be in relationships and enjoy sex even though they don’t feel desire for their partners.

Telling children they might be attracted to girls, boys, both or neither is fine.

Telling girls who may still have no clear idea about their sexuality yet about asexuality, when asexuality for some asexuals means having sex without desire, is problematic.

It’s too vague for children and within that vagueness slips the potential for grooming and sexual coercion

No one is suggesting telling girls that.

How do you educate children about asexuals without talking about sexual activity?

No one is suggesting telling girls that

So GG, which is for girls, is raising awareness of asexuality but doesn’t actually want the girls to be aware of asexuality.

[quote Franca123]@theoriginalemu this isn't a thing. You're just not attracted to anyone. What you describe doesn't get a special shiny label and a flag. It's fucking ridiculous. And children at Brownies don't need to bloody hear about it because it's boring as hell.[/quote]
What isn’t a thing?
Asexuality might be boring to you, it’s not to me. That’s how the world works.

I just really fail to see how you can have a conversation about asexuality without wading into discussions on sexual activity. And what any of this adult labelling nonsense has to do with CHILDREN I have no idea.

@nolongersurprised

No one is suggesting telling girls that

So GG, which is for girls, is raising awareness of asexuality but doesn’t actually want the girls to be aware of asexuality.

You can make them aware that people who don’t feel sexual attraction exist and are normal, without discussing the specifics of their sex life.

@nolongersurprised

That kind of conversation should be something you can openly say without it being a big thing, or people thinking it’s weird

You can’t control whether people think it’s weird though. To me, the concept of enjoying sex with someone I have no physical attraction to is very weird.

As if relates to consenting adults I don’t care. I don’t actually care that much about people’s personal lives at work either. I do care that anxious teens are prematurely deciding they’re ace and normalising sex with people they do t desire though

Well I find the idea of wanting sex with anyone weird. But I accept that’s how other people feel and I don’t look down on them or think them strange people because of it. That’s the point there. Someone said there isn’t social discrimination and that’s just not true. The very fact different types of asexual life styles are being so thoroughly grilled about means that people absolutely do see us as strange and discriminate when they know about us.

But that's only half of the label. Not being attracted to other people is only half. The other half is not engaging in sexual activity.

@Franca123

I just really fail to see how you can have a conversation about asexuality without wading into discussions on sexual activity. And what any of this adult labelling nonsense has to do with CHILDREN I have no idea.

‘You might as a young person not fancy anyone yet, that’s totally normal, as you grow up you might realise you fancy men or women and that’s also normal and ok. For some people as they grow up they find they never fancy or feel romantic feelings towards anyone. This is a totally normal and valid way to feel. These people sometimes describe themselves as asexual’.

It really doesn’t have to be any deeper than that.

@Franca123

But that's only half of the label. Not being attracted to other people is only half. The other half is not engaging in sexual activity.

There isn’t any need in younger people to go into that said if things. In the same way we don’t say to kids, ‘if you fancy boys when you are a boy you might be gay which means you might want to take part in anal sex’. Do we? Age appropriate discussion is key.

@RhymesWithOrange

You talked about legal, economic, and social. I agree with you on the first two. I do not agree with you that older virgins or asexual people are not discriminated against socially. Discrimination in the social sense can involve many things and yes, can involve deliberately hurting another person's feelings.

Deliberately hurting someone's feelings is not discrimination.

“Injury to feelings often forms part of discrimination cases in law. When a Claimant is successful in a claim for discrimination, the Employment Tribunal is entitled to award them extra compensation known as injury to feelings. This is to compensate the victim for the hurt feelings they have suffered as a result of the discrimination.”

Age appropriate discussion is key

Exactly. Which is why labels for children need to be avoided, especially one that - when they Google - simultaneously tells them that it’s normal not to feel desire but that lots of ace people enjoy having sex with people they don’t fancy.

@nolongersurprised

Age appropriate discussion is key

Exactly. Which is why labels for children need to be avoided, especially one that - when they Google - simultaneously tells them that it’s normal not to feel desire but that lots of ace people enjoy having sex with people they don’t fancy.

You’re fixating on this one aspect of ‘some sexuals have sex with people they don’t fancy’ as if that is the defining or common characteristic and it just isn’t. A few things:

1. Letting kids know that it is a thing that exists does not mean you need to go into any kind of detail.

2. Most asexual people don’t want or have sex.
   For a small minority, they will have sex in very specific situations.

3. as a teenager if someone had told me that asexuality was a thing, and that it wasn’t something wrong with me, thst I needed to hide and try to prove I was normal and ok by having loads of sex I really didn’t want…I would probably never have had sex. Because I would have realised that was ok. So, I really think your fear that somehow talking about it is going to make girls think they they need to have sex with people they aren’t attracted to is quite the opposite of what happens.

4. I think you are imaging the ‘having sex with people you don’t fancy’ is just shagging anyone, and that’s not it at all…most aces who have sex are in relationships with people who do feel sexual attraction so they will do it as they love their partner, and they aren’t repulsed by sex so will do it sometimes. There are a few different types of people who come under the ace umbrella. It is a spectrum. You can be in love without having any desire to have sex.

Adults who have no formal responsibility for teaching children about sex shouldn't be talking about this stuff, ever.

Teaching children about sex is difficult and complicated and needs extensive training. Girl guide leaders are not those professionals.

1) Letting kids know that it is a thing that exists does not mean you need to go into any kind of detail

But they will get the detail from their social media. They already are. They don’t need “awareness” around what seems to be a very nuanced sexuality promoted by GG. And yes, it is nuanced, as indicated by the posters here. Especially those saying they people can be ace, get “horny”, enjoy sex and be in loving relationships.

Again, this is all you looking back and wishing you’d had MORE information. Children are now bombarded with information about their sexuality and gender identity. They don’t need every single club they’re involved in “raising awareness” of various adult sexualities

@oviraptor21

Why aren't these topics left for schools and parents to handle?

If I send my child to football, gymnastics or swimming; to acting classes, chess club or orchestra, I wouldn't expect them to be discussing their sexuality there. Why is guides different?

They aren't left for parents because 95% of the posts on here have misrepresented asexuality and don't know what they're talking about.