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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude and bin it?

240 replies

JakeyRolling · 30/10/2021 10:08

We bought out house four years ago.

Old owners were cheapskates and refused to set up a mail redirect so we had their number and for a couple of years (far too long imho) they would come and collect mail when we said we had some for them.

We had no mail for over a year so deleted their number (we've never known their new address).

Today we got a (what feels like) a card through the door with a handwritten note on the back effectively demanding we forward it as sender has lost their number/new address.

The sender fully acknowledges that they know the recipient no longer lives here, so it's been sent in the expectation that we will do the final legwork.

There's also no return address on the envelope so we can't even stick it back in the post box (which involves a trek into town).

Aibu to think sender is a CF and just bin the bloody card?

OP posts:
chlorineirene · 31/10/2021 18:44

People saying put back in box... there's no return address. That will achieve nothing

Just bin it. We still get the odd xmas card for previous home owners. Its been 4'years. They cant be close friends

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 18:44

@Hertsgirl10

Why do people get their knickers in a twist about things like this? The amount of you that take so much pleasure throwing it away 😂

Can you even try to track them down? They’re obviously desperate to contact the people, yes it’s annoying but it probably takes more time to come on MN compose a whole thread and keep up with all the comments, than it would to have a quick search on Facebook or even put a post up, what if someone in the family lost contact and has passed away? Could be any reason for this.

I had a NHS letter for a tenant that lived here before, I opened it cos at the time last year I was getting constant letters from them telling me to get vaccinated and I thought it was one of them, anyway it was a smear reminder that she hasn’t had one in so many years. I found her on Facebook and told her, took 10 mins and not had anything since.

@Hertsgirl10

I don't throw anything away, I get pleasure from opening letters/packages for an old occupier and keeping it for myself.

Also, why on earth are you wasting your time chasing about after people who couldn't be arsed to have the common sense to swap details before one of them moved? Confused

Searching facebook to find the details of the person who moved to enable them to get their stuff. PMSL. Yeah right. Coz EVERYONE does that. Do you do that because it's KIND?! You can bet a bloody MAN would not do that! Farting and faffing around for people he doesn't even KNOW, to reunite them with their mail, when they couldn't be fucked to swap details before moving house!

limitedperiodonly · 31/10/2021 18:49

Rude and Respect - the two Rs of ragey Mumsnetters. It's pathetic.

And who bothers to delete people's numbers? I've just scrolled through my phone going "Nope. Nope. Oh yeah. Nope. Wonder if she still works for them? Nope..."

TractorAndHeadphones · 31/10/2021 18:51

[quote Hertsgirl10]@TractorAndHeadphones it’s really not that deep though is it? I mean the amount of anger from people in the comments, imagine people had an actual problem 😂 the hysteria over this is funny, Can just imagine how delightful you lot are in real life[/quote]
But you commented - so I can imagine just how delightful you are in real life!

TractorAndHeadphones · 31/10/2021 18:53

@limitedperiodonly

Rude and Respect - the two Rs of ragey Mumsnetters. It's pathetic.

And who bothers to delete people's numbers? I've just scrolled through my phone going "Nope. Nope. Oh yeah. Nope. Wonder if she still works for them? Nope..."

Me, I also delete whatsapp messages! Usually when I’m bored stuck on public transport and surfing the ‘net’ is too slow. And have already cleared my photo gallery.
Hertsgirl10 · 31/10/2021 18:57

@LittleDandelionClock

This took a sudden turn … if I was male? If I was a rabbit, if I was a helicopter. All pretty irrelevant isn’t it? So ALL men in the world would enjoy putting that in the bin? Not a single one might think about trying to help, I don’t mean she should get a billboard up soo around the country, just a quick search wouldn’t hurt would it?

QueenofLouisiana · 31/10/2021 18:58

We have lived in this house since 2001. Last year we got (another) letter for the previous owners- they had rented out the house for at least a year before we bought it. We get Christmas cards every year with the same postmark and handwriting so I now recognise it. No return address, no idea where the previous owners live. Binned it.

Three months later, the previous own appears on my doorstep asking where the card is, apparently it had important information in it. Not important enough to tell the sender you'd moved over 20 years ago then!

Hertsgirl10 · 31/10/2021 19:00

@TractorAndHeadphones I wasn’t talking about commenting was I smart arse 😂 I was talking about the absolute rage people have about something that I wouldn’t even think twice about, let alone get all angry on a strangers behalf.

TractorAndHeadphones · 31/10/2021 19:01

[quote Hertsgirl10]@TractorAndHeadphones I wasn’t talking about commenting was I smart arse 😂 I was talking about the absolute rage people have about something that I wouldn’t even think twice about, let alone get all angry on a strangers behalf.[/quote]
Oh the irony 😂😂😂

Tigger1895 · 31/10/2021 19:03

Write not known at this address and put it in the postbox. That way you aren’t interfering with their mail and it’s out of your hands.

Hertsgirl10 · 31/10/2021 19:05

@TractorAndHeadphones Yes. Apparently so.

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 19:06

[quote Hertsgirl10]@LittleDandelionClock

This took a sudden turn … if I was male? If I was a rabbit, if I was a helicopter. All pretty irrelevant isn’t it? So ALL men in the world would enjoy putting that in the bin? Not a single one might think about trying to help, I don’t mean she should get a billboard up soo around the country, just a quick search wouldn’t hurt would it?[/quote]
Yep that is correct. A MAN would not be arsed. Nope. But women must BE KIND! and spend as much of her free time as possible trying to locate these people who the random letter/package belongs to. LOL, fuck that. And WTF are you going on about rabbits and helicopters for? Are you OK? Shock

wentworthinmate · 31/10/2021 19:08

@SpookyPumpkinPants

I'd open it, see if their address is in there & see if it's important. If it is I'd do what I could to get it forwarded to them (via solicitors) if not I'd keep I for a while to see if the old owners turn up after Christmas to see if there was any Mail. If they do, I'd get their new address to forward anything onto.
OMFG!!! HaloHaloHaloHaloHalo I think not!
LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 19:09

@QueenofLouisiana

We have lived in this house since 2001. Last year we got (another) letter for the previous owners- they had rented out the house for at least a year before we bought it. We get Christmas cards every year with the same postmark and handwriting so I now recognise it. No return address, no idea where the previous owners live. Binned it.

Three months later, the previous own appears on my doorstep asking where the card is, apparently it had important information in it. Not important enough to tell the sender you'd moved over 20 years ago then!

How ridiculous. Hmm

And we are meant to care for these eejits, and spend our valuable time chasing after them. What a nob that person was, demanding to know where his card is. As you said, the silly pillock should have informed the sender they had moved TWENTY years ago. Fucking bellnob! Grin

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 19:11

@SpookyPumpkinPants

I'd open it, see if their address is in there & see if it's important. If it is I'd do what I could to get it forwarded to them (via solicitors) if not I'd keep I for a while to see if the old owners turn up after Christmas to see if there was any Mail. If they do, I'd get their new address to forward anything onto.

PMSL, funny! Grin As if anyone would do that!

StoneofDestiny · 31/10/2021 19:12

Ridiculous - I'd stick it in the post box ' return to sender' for a month then bin after that. People need to pay for redirection service - easy and cheap enough.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 31/10/2021 19:16

@starfishmummy

"Return to sender" and maybe a note about no forwarding address and put in the postbox. Royal mail will open it and attempt to return it.
I do this. I bought my house at the beginning of the year. When I moved in the previous occupiers asked me to put any post that came for them in a neighbour's letterbox. I did it for a few months, they evidently didn't bother to set up a redirection (or clear out the garage properly). I'm tired of it now, not getting a huge quantity, but lots of brochures and mailings from supermarkets and so on. Really annoying, it's my house and they're tight gits. I mark it 'return to sender, addressee not known, please amend your records' bing it in a pile and put it in a postbox when I'm passing.
BatshitCrazyWoman · 31/10/2021 19:17

*bung

Hertsgirl10 · 31/10/2021 19:18

@LittleDandelionClock

Are you ok to think that every man would think like all the females on MN? Considering it’s mostly females on here being ermmm not so kind? I’m not saying yea be kind am? I said it would of taken less time and effort to do a quick search than to do this post and stay stressing about the issue.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/10/2021 19:20

bin it
zero emotions

arcticocean · 31/10/2021 19:25

The sender is probably just assuming you would do the decent thing and try to pass it on, and probably nothing more sinister than that. Since you can't do that, how is it a big deal to write that they no longer live there and pop it back in the post?

Tilltheend99 · 31/10/2021 19:25

What if it’s from a long lost child

Tilltheend99 · 31/10/2021 19:27

It may be easy but it’s not cheap.

Tilltheend99 · 31/10/2021 19:31

@TractorAndHeadphonesi doubt that would save you much space. Better to delete unused apps. Or offload them but keep the data if using Apple.

Original poster
JakeyRolling · 31/10/2021 19:36

@arcticocean

The sender is probably just assuming you would do the decent thing and try to pass it on, and probably nothing more sinister than that. Since you can't do that, how is it a big deal to write that they no longer live there and pop it back in the post?
Because it takes effort to put in back in the post. I'd need to go into town, which is not something I do very often.

For now the letter is on the stairs but will keep it a month and if it's important they'll come for it. If not it's getting binned.

OP posts: