Are there any jobs without gossipy and bitching staff?

[Romantique]

Sometimes feel like there aren’t, I know it’s also due to my lack of assertiveness and potentially the fact that I’m quiet.

In one job, I had a girl who kept making comments that I was ‘posh’ just because I don’t have the local accent I think, but for instance once I swore as something had exploded in the room, and she said ‘Wow, I thought you’d be too posh to swear’ or ‘I thought you were too posh to use that word’

In my current job, there is a girl I work with every so often. She was talking about a colleague of ours saying “Don’t you think she smells really bad.” I genuinely hadn’t noticed and even if I did I wouldn’t say something like that about someone so I said I didn’t know. She kept trying to goad me and saying come on, you must have noticed it.

I have short hair and like to change the colour and style often. She asked me if I were somebody who liked to experiment with different hairstyles. I said yes and she said “So is that why you’ve not got any hair left?”

She seems to mention every time that clients are ‘really happy to see her’ and I think it’s an insecurity thing really.
I may be overly sensitive but there are people like this in most jobs I’ve had, usually quite young.

I have to work closely with these people on occasion so ignoring them is difficult. Am I being overly sensitive, does anyone else have this ?

Or yesterday an older colleague told me she’d rather work with me than X girl as X doesn’t know what she’s doing

I think it is fairly common. If you are a bit boring with her and don't bite she will move on to someone else. e.g. Do you think x smells?
Not at all. Clients always prefer me. That's lovely. etc etc
I have someone at work who drives me nuts moaning and going on and on. I give short responses and usually get up to go and do something. He is however hard to get rid of and you do literally have to say 'oh look I need to copy this asap' and make a quick exit.

The comment about your hair was rude. The comment about your colleague was unprofessional. If you ignore comments like those and let them slide they will keep happening.

It’s the sort of job where you have to work together so it’s difficult to avoid them really. I have another colleague who makes threats to leave every time I see her, and she complained about having a particular job, I got given it instead and then she lied about it.

I will challenge the first girl next time if she says something

Jobs without bitchy colleagues?

Self employment 😂

Are there any jobs without gossipy and bitching staff?

Doubt it. I've noticed that gossiping is socialising for most people. Without it, there's really not much to talk about, and they need to fill the silence with something.

Just don't engage with the comments or say "do you really have nothing better to talk about than other people? Only boring people do that." They will soon stop and leave you be.
I sympathise though op, I hate gossipers it's because they have nothing going for themselves so have to drag others down to the same level. It's pathetic.

Unless you work alone.

In my work I literally blank out any drama. I talk about positive things. Any comments made at me or toward me (for example that rude comment about your hair) I would probably laugh a little and say oh maybe so, but I love changing my hair.
I find if you stay positive it helps. They soon learn you are not giving a reaction, it does not bother you and they will soon see you are not up to discussing their drama or other people.
Go in. Do your job to the best you can. Put a smile on, even if you want to punch them in the face.
Pass yourself with people. They are not your friends and who actually cares in the slightest what a coworker thinks. Some people thrive of that shit in those environments.

I think you also have to make it clearer that you don't want to hear negative comments about your colleagues. Someone who thinks they can get away with those will possibly be saying the same about you - you need to actively discourage it or suggest they take concerns to their line manager.

I disagree.
Three of my main four workplaces across my working life have been gossip and bitch free, including my current one.
In the fourth, there was definitely a group of more difficult colleagues, but also some lovely ones whom I have kept in touch with since leaving. The gossipy, bitchy ones were definitely a factor in me moving on, but not the whole reason.
So I would say
a) not all workplaces are like that
b) even if there are a lot of people like this, try to find the ones you can be positive with
c) don't get drawn in
d) look for another job if it is getting you down

Can you WFH? .....I’ve been at home since March 20 ..... only seen my colleagues on teams meetings .....I do miss the gossip a bit though 😀

Unfortunately they exist everywhere. I did my very best to recruit a team sans bitches & still ended up with 2 of them🤦‍♀️

She seems to mention every time that clients are ‘really happy to see her’ and I think it’s an insecurity thing really.

This line stood out to me as it's something I've always used. Literally say this to her as you call her out on her nasty behaviour

"Oh you think she smells do you, I can't say I've noticed. You're very insecure aren't you, or why point that out to me & try & get me to join in bitching. Try & be a bit less bitchy, & you won't have anything to be insecure about" & then smile that helpful concerned smile & walk off.

"Oh you think my hair is thin do you, you must be very insecure to pay so much attention to everyone else's appearance & you do realise that's a very bitchy remark don't you ? I'll let it go this time though as you're obviously very insecure"

Call her out on it every bloody time & she will soon stop bothering you

I’ve never really encountered bitchy colleagues, but I’m not someone who has ever got very invested in friendships at work or got particularly involved in office politics. I get on with people at work and enjoy their company but don’t seek to be friends with them outside of that. My job involves working with a real mix of ages, seniority levels and is quite evenly balanced between the sexes, however. I sometimes think the bitchiness and drama happens more when there are a lot of employees the same age and level working together.

Never worked in a bitch free zone in my life. Where I work now is OK, but there are a few horrible people. Men AND women.

I don't think you need to make comments about people's insecurity. It's sinking to their level. No need to make it personal. You can discourage negative behaviour and comments without resorting to that. Address the behaviour, not the person.

I work with mostly men and they tend not to do this, but then again, they're not always sweetness and light either.

Swings and roundabouts, i'll be bound.

I work with mostly men and they tend not to do this

I disagree strongly that it's a female thing, it's a personality thing & men are often the worst in my experience

@ilovesooty

I don't think you need to make comments about people's insecurity. It's sinking to their level. No need to make it personal. You can discourage negative behaviour and comments without resorting to that. Address the behaviour, not the person.

This.

If this type of behaviour occurs around me I don't engage. That tends to stop it. The mn classic of ' did you mean to be rude' would be appropriate re: the hair comment.

I don't think you need to make comments about people's insecurity. It's sinking to their level. No need to make it personal. You can discourage negative behaviour and comments without resorting to that. Address the behaviour, not the person.

But in my vast experience of this phenomenon, that doesn't work & you'll just become the target of the bitchy behaviour. Pointing out that you see exactly who they are & why they do it makes them wary of you, so they fully leave you alone

This is one of the reasons I went into teaching. You still get the nonsense in staff meetings, lunchtimes etc, but the rest of the day it’s you and the kids. Bliss.

But in my vast experience of this phenomenon, that doesn't work & you'll just become the target of the bitchy behaviour. Pointing out that you see exactly who they are & why they do it makes them wary of you, so they fully leave you alone

Really? That's quite a confrontational stance to take, why would you want your colleagues to be 'wary' of you? Your basically just making yourself the biggest bitch in the room....

Yes

Retrain into something high skilled and with high pay. Surround yourself with educated people, not schoolyard thickos.

Cruel but true. I've done dimwit office work surrounded by people who can't spell, and moved into a highly skilled field where people are not only clever, they're working hard. There isn't time to be childish because there's actual, real work to do and other intelligent people to cooperate with.